Posts tagged ‘Minnesota’

Senator Badass (D-MN)


… at least someone’s read the bill …

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December 16, 2009 at 11:07 am 1 comment

Al Franken is king of Senaterica!!


Rejoice Americans!
The war is over!
The Battle of Minnesota is won!!!!!!

YAY!
::: WOO HOO!!! Can we uncork the champagne now? :::

Democrat Al Franken will be declared Grand Poobah King of Meeneesohtah now that the counting of the recounted counts have been counted for the umpteenth zillion time, giving him a slim lead over Republican Norm Coleman in the 9,000-year struggle for his state’s senatorship

YAY!!
::: Yup. got it. Good stuff, there’s a winner, all’s good, blah blah blah … Champagne? Now??? :::

A bunch of folks who probably don’t even care anymore spent the weekend holding their eyes open with toothpicks while they calculated and countified what were deemed the last uncounted absentee ballots.

The result?
“Franken has a 225-vote lead,” said Minnesota Secretary of State Mark Ritchie.

YAY!!!
::: Good. fine. WhatthefuckEVER!! When do we start drinking?!?!? :::

But Coleman, the undeterred incumbent, is ripping a page right from the Rod ‘Grabbyhands” Blagojevich playbook, vowing he will fight … he will fight … he will fight … for his right … to paaaaaAARRRTAY!
Yeaahhh ba … uhh, wait … no, that’s not right …

Coleman will fight to continue discovering, uncovering and manufacturing [if he has to] the exact number of recounted but as-yet uncounted votes needed to snatch victory from the jaws of Stuart Smalley.

BOO!
::: … ehh, so that’s a ‘no’ on the bubbly then? :::

And if that doesn’t do the trick , he’ll take his case of whine all the way to the supreme court and start the goddamned process of counting the recounted counts that were counted, excluding the non-counted counts they didn’t have in the original count, all over again!

BOO!!
::: Geez Coleman!! It’s not all about YOU! There’s champagne for chrissakes! :::

“We remain convinced that this process is broken [because we didn’t win], and as a result, the numbers being reported will not be accurate or valid [because they don’t say we won] … (It) clearly means that a contest is the only likely remedy to ensure a fair outcome,” Coleman’s campaign manager Cullen Sheehan said.

BOO!!!

Unless that bitch is proposing a steel-cage-drinking-contest-to-the-death, I’m a million kinds of OVER IT!

Serious question: Can we cut the new math estimatory summified bullshit and get down to the business of drinking fixing the country already?!?

Hmmm?

January 5, 2009 at 2:13 pm 7 comments

Ya think?


If red states can go blue — is America also ready to equalize marriage — or to send Al Franken to the Senate?!?

Dare to dream?

Just askin’ …

November 5, 2008 at 3:11 am

McLovin’ It!


Red Pine Tree - Minnesota State TreeMinnee-sodan’s are gettin’ their tree on!

Today is the last Friday in April which means it’s Arbor Day and that means you’re supposed to get a shovel, dig a hole and arborize that bitch. But since most of us live in areas too urbanized to find one square inch of dirt from which a tree might grow, the real work of Arbor Day falls to those hearty Mid-and Northwestern types (where land is plentiful because, really, who wants to live there?!?).

Never one to miss a marketing opportunity, McDonald’s has teamed up with Minnesota Forest Industries and some local teevee station to give away thousands of baby Minnesota state trees! YAY TREES!
Customers at any of the 225 participating Minnesota McDonald’s greasepits can get a side of Red Pine seedling with their McMeal today, but no purchase is necessary, so TREES FOR EVERYONE!!
McLovin' It McDonald's sign with Superbad star

April 25, 2008 at 1:00 pm 3 comments



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