Posts tagged ‘michael douglas’

Who’s your daddy?

Old and Busted: Young buns
New Hotness: Old peen

Don’t laugh — there’s, like, an actual person doing serious scientifical researchification on geezer genetics and stuff and he says guys like this —->
are the key to evolution!
::: repeat after me: ‘anything’s possible with a paper bag’ :::

Steve Jones of University College London scarily asserts that “human evolution is grinding to a halt because of a shortage of older fathers in the West”.
::: nothin’ like a little pressure, right?!? :::

Jones says peepaws are prone to pass on the, uhh, ‘mutations’ necessary for folks to continue plodding our way down Darwin’s path.
::: I knew it! We ARE freaks of nature!! :::

“Human social change often changes our genetic future,” he said, citing marriage patterns and contraception as examples. “Quite unexpectedly, we have dropped the human mutation rate because of a change in reproductive patterns.”

I mean, ok, we could try to warp our Watson-Crick through chemical intervention or set up shop in some radioactive Real Estate, but who wants to get all Chernobyl only to plop out another average Earthling?

Not me!

Nope, if Jones is right and it’s the gnarly goo in old-man spoo that puts the man in humanity — then it’s time to give grampa the good joog … just like that other Jones … Catherine Zeta, that is.

You didn’t know it but this bad bitch has been working hard on behalf of all of humanity!
::: Thanx CZJ! xoxoxo :::

She’s taking this whole ‘sexy septuagenarian’ scenario VERY seriously!
I mean, why else would she consciously breed with the Crypt Keeper and birth a bunch of mutant babies???

Poke a pensioner – save the world!

October 7, 2008 at 5:35 pm 1 comment

CZJ enters the Bronze Age

What in the pimply fake bake hell is going on with Catherine Zeta-Jones’ face?!?
Bitch’s skin is all kinds of busted!

CZJ and Michael “The Crypt Keeper” Douglas were at the Global Leadership Awards Gala in New York City Wednesday night and, evidently, she thought it was a costume party … a Halloween costume party because she came made up as ‘Clown Catherine of the Land of Giant Pore’.

The only saving grace is that the shine coming off her skin is so intense it could actually temporarily blind innocent onlookers.
::: look away :::

Well, we hope it did.
::: look awaaayyyy!!!!! :::

October 2, 2008 at 8:51 pm 1 comment

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