Posts tagged ‘liar’

I … can’t …


I have really good shit to say about Mark Sanford breaking state laws to get his fucky times on with some ho in Argentina – especially after all the hypocritical blah blah he spewed about a certain other politician he voted to impeach for lyin’ about a bj …
Oh ho HO yeah!
Really. Good. SHIT!

But I can’t …
… because during my morning world news roundupapalooza I came across the very sad (and shockingly — for me at least — somewhat unexpected) news that my original girl crush, Farrah Fawcett, was given last rites last night.

I’ve been a gozillion percent convinced all along that the mega ‘this ain’t over, biatch’ side-eye Mizz Thang’s been giving the big C would pull her hotness right on through this mess!

A GOZILLION percent!

And so now I’ve lost the heehee because I’m just sad.
Well, sad and curious … Ed + Farrah = 2 … and, well, don’t these gloomies come in three’s?

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June 25, 2009 at 12:51 pm 3 comments

In case you didn’t know …


This is what history rewriting itself looks like:

Cheney this week: “No Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2002 – 2003: So believed there was an Iraq-9/11 link that he (and Rumsfeld) authorized the use of torture to extract evidence of an Iraq-Al Qaeda link from detainees

Cheney 2003: “Could be Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2004: “Clear link between Iraq and Al Qaeda”

… ok … maybe it’s just what shameless evil looks like.

 

History would do well to erase this motherfucker from it’s memory altogether.
If only it could …

June 3, 2009 at 10:24 am

THIS bitch …


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May 6, 2009 at 1:02 pm 1 comment

Papa was a trolling drone …


ATTENTION WOMEN EVERYWHERE:

DO NOT FUCK WITH THOMAS FRAZIER

Seriously — don’t  do it!

Unless you had all your womanly business yanked out at least a decade ago and you’ve had your hoo-ha sewn twelve kinds of shut and your legs have been permanently fused together at the knee and ankle bones – do not fuck with, near, around, close to, in the general vicinity of or within a 50-mile radius of Thomas Frazier.

Because this meatsack can knock a bitch up with a single, furtive glance her way … or by breathing the same air … or passing her on the freeway …

And then – just like your self-respect, your freedom and your future plans – he’s OUTTA THERE!!!

Frazier is Flynt, Michigan’s answer to the question “If there was a world champion of deadbeat dads, what would he look like?”

He’d look like this fucker!!
A serial sperm donor who bounces from state to state, has fourteen children by 13 different women in Genesee County alone and owes more than $530,000 in unpaid child support.

Oh, but his years of playing the artful child support dodger came to an end late last month when karma finally said ‘Enough fuckery, douchebag!”

He was pulled over in Iowa for a broken taillight on his Mercedes Benz and wouldja take a fuckin’ look at this — in his pocket police found $5,000 in cash and plane tickets to Florida!

Shockingly, police didn’t buy his lie that the money was for child support and not the Mons Venus champagne room.
In fact, they called bullshit on all the cockamamie crap he was shoveling, threw his impregnating ass in jail and gave him the choice of doing 90 days or coming up with about $28,000 — immediately.

Which means, of course, that he’ll continue earning his ‘burden to society’ merit badge by spending a little vakay at the county’s expense.

Hopefully dickhead will get a take-charge kind of cellmate who will spend hours each day demonstrating the painful ins and outs of ill-advised copulation and ram home nightly the consequences of such irresponsibility.

… hopefully …

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April 13, 2009 at 4:36 pm 2 comments

Brewhaha


People are shocked – SHOCKED I TELL YOU – over a picture of my boyfriend *gasp* relaxing with *Double Gasp! * a cool one at a basketball game.
::: OUTRAGE!!! :::

The photo of O’Beautiful chillin’ at a recent Wizards-Bulls game has touched off a firestorm of ‘Oh no he di’int!’ all over the gat-damn place!

My boyfriend getting his sud onOne caller to WWL (AM 870 – News/Talk/Sports) fussed, “People are losing 5, 10, 20 thousand dollars a day in the stock market, and he’s sitting there drinking a beer!”
::: We can confirm: They are. He was. He did. :::

Another fired-up female said, “The president is the president 24 hours a day. I don’t think he should drink on the job.”

The [mostly female] callers charged that O’Baby has no right – NO RIGHT PEOPLE – to have any semblance of fun during this New Great Depression.
::: … she are not amused … :::

Take a cleansing breath, babes.
I can see how this sort of thing would be shocking, what with not having an admitted alcoholic in the White House anymore.

But, you know, to be fair and all – I’m guessing they had the same kind of pissy hissy when W and some celebs got their game on at last July’s White House All-Star tee ball game?

The same day, incidentally, that Fed Chief Ben Bernanke assured the United States House of Representatives Financial Services Committee that giant mortgage companies Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are in “no danger of failing.”

Oh yeah, I bet they were all OVER those tee ball shenanigans!

Ooo Ooo — and what about last August, when he got his glance on while checkin’ the beach volleyball babes at the Beijing Olympics?

If memory serves, he got in a little Misty May-Treanor butt tap (by invitation, of course) on that trip.
::: sweet move — I’d hit it :::

OOoooooHooooHOOOOO! You KNOW they had a collective colossal conniption over that action!

And what about all that treacherously foolhardy GOLF playing he engaged in – AT AMERICA’S EXPENSE?!?!?!?

I am sure that just the mere sight of Sir Goofedalot goofing off caused them all erratic heartbeats, palpatations, hiccups and flatulence so scary that it required immediate hospitalization and a full battery of, like, super-scientific tests!!!

Oh but wait — didn’t he give that shit up ‘for the troops’ and all?
Yeeeahhh – not so much.

Aaaaanystupidfuckinggarbagethatdoesn’tmeanshit, where were we?

Oh yeah.
Obama went to a b-ball game and had a brew.
Get the fuck over it.

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March 4, 2009 at 2:19 pm 8 comments

Pass that doobie, Dick!


I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!

THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT, Y’ALL!!!

Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …

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January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

One large rumor, a stalkery snap on the side and hold the Big Mac


Cindy McCain is a whorebag!
Cindy McCain is a whorebag!
Cindy McCain is a whorebag!

Just in time to have absolutely ZERO impact on the presidential race, the scribes who sponsored John Edwards’ ‘Baby Mama Drama Career Suicide Tour ’08’ have taken a time out from poopy diaper DNA testing to drop this new bomb.

“Sources” tell the National Enquirer they have spied Cindy Lou Who lockin’ lips and gettin’ all huggey with a man who isn’t gonna be doodling “maverick” on the back of his Senate seat next year.
::: and by ‘sources’ we mean Scapegoat Palin. HAHAHAHA, just kidding!!!
… sort of … :::

Mrs. Mac is apparently a big ol’ cheatin’ whorey cheater who has been engaged in all kinds of cheateration going back perhaps as far as Mr. Mac’s first failed presidential bid.
::: Does NOBODY listen to Tammy Wynette anymore?!? :::

Not one to just make shit up (except when they do), the Enquirer is fueling their ‘She’s a flaxen-haired floozy’ rumor train with concrete evidential-type stuff and HARD proofification.
Yesssssss — they have a picture.

<— SEE!!! PROOF!!!!!

A grainy-almost-to-the-point-of-pixellation picture taken at an Arizona music festival two and a half years ago showing a blonde woman (so you know it’s her) with a blonde ponytail (it is sooo her)  locked in a virtually pornographic embrace (total slut) with a man who’s name we don’t know!

My god — it’s just so clear!

Well, uhh – ok, not the photo, or, umm, well the logic, per se  but, uhh, well something is clear!
Yes!
Of that much, we can be sure … or something …

November 13, 2008 at 2:37 pm

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