Posts tagged ‘irony’

Help me out for a sec …


When passing a Prius slathered in stickers proclaiming love and devotion to all things environmental and greeniliciously earthly …

… and the driver pushes a McDonald’s bag out onto that terrific terra through the window while driving the Florida Turnpike …

… what is that?

Irony?
Hypocrisy?

June 2, 2010 at 6:42 pm 9 comments

Is this allowed?


0907_linsay_lohan_r_c_9906_akmimages_excNo. I’m serious.
Is it?

I mean, ok – maybe it’s part of the one THOUSAND and fucking twelve-step program this trick is workin’ … but otherwise I have to call giant FAILS on a haggard 23-year-old alky crackwhore dingbat wearing a ‘Just Say NO To Drugs’ T-shirt.

I mean, HAHAHAHAHA for irony and all, bitch – but Nancy Reagan is not amused, ‘kay?!

SOURCE

September 8, 2009 at 10:08 am 3 comments

What’s wrong? Credit got your tongue?


According to a recent poll, Americans find it easier to talk about the day Uncle Hollis’ face met the business end of the hay baler than mention the ol’ MasterCard.

We’re even more apt give the gory details of our last one-night stand (and thanks SO MUCH for that graphic account, Sheila – eww) than disclose the dollar amount on our Discover card.

“Talking about credit card debt is an overwhelming social taboo. There is a social paradox happening people who are faced with credit card debt are unwilling to face their financial issues and therefore may be leaving it unresolved, said Ben Woolsey, Director of Marketing and Consumer Research for CreditCards.com.

This – to me – is nothing short of fascinating.
No — really!! It’s more than fascinating — it’s FASCINATACULAR!!!

These days, the idiot box is nothing more than a malfunctioning mental toilet — crammed full of shit like the skankerific I Love New York, the bangfest that Big Brother has become, Dog The racist, human beef-jerkey Bounty Hunter and any of the MANY baby-daddy paternity smackdowns that litter the landscape of daytime television.

Teevee ‘programming’ leaves the same taste as that quart of milk I left in the car about 3 hours too long this weekend. But it’s not just the boob tube — talk radio and, err, well yeah, the Internet aren’t much better!
::: well, ‘cept for the porn … porn’s alright … for medicinal purposes and all …  :::

I mean, with the stupidly notable exception of the absolute gay paranoia tidal wave sweeping the nation (so they’re getting married — get OVER it, Prudeholm!) – one would think every topic is considered ‘in bounds’ these days.

Ahh, but not so!

Eight out of 10 adults (82 broke-ass percent of us) are reluctant to openly discuss our credit card debts with someone we just met — but we have nooooo problem letting him get his grope on while checking out the fusica and lime bustier/thong set when we were in that really cool room behind the back room at Le Cie …. uhhhh, wait … what? …. I mean when my friend wa… ehhhACK!!!
::: NEVER slammin’ Tequila again!!!! :::

July 8, 2008 at 8:34 pm 3 comments

Laura Bush is a tool


Laura Bush is a toolA catastrophic tropical cyclone (aka hurricane) hit the Southeast Asian country of Myanmar (aka Burma) early Saturday and the White House got all blamey on Monday and trotted out Cindy Lou Who (aka Laura Bush) to denounce the Mayanmar government response to the disaster.

I’d say this bitch has balls, but it’s Laura Bush. She just smiles into the camera and says what she’s told.

After all, it’d be kinda hard for Shrub to get up there and act all self-righteous and critical of another government’s response to disaster after taking nearly as long to get to New Orleans after Katrina as it took God to make the friggin’ WORLD.

 

May 6, 2008 at 12:17 am 6 comments

Mother Turned Loose In Mall, Stupidity Ensues


Oh gawd, another breeder got out of her cage and had a public freak out when slapped in the face with the harsh reality of the modern world. Can’t someone keep this ‘gina’s inside?!?

UR Mom Iz Stoopid CafePress shirtShe didn’t lose it over the high cost of gasoline.
She didn’t spaz over funding cuts for schools or go apeshit over the epidemic of suicides among soldiers returning from Iraq.

No, no, no … Sally Suburbia went all disturbia over the title of some books at a store in her local mall.

Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh …

It happened in Lynnwood, Washington when Moron Mommy Marci Milfs went to Urban Outfitters to buy her pweshuss teenage teetsucker son some clothes. But, alas, her credit carnival was ruined because there were all these scandalous books all over the store with titles like “Porn for Women” (which is a photo book showing men doing *GASP* housework) and Stephen Colbert’s “I Am America (And So Can You).”

“When I saw it, I was shocked,” said Milfs, who has an obvious zero tolerance policy when it comes to irony and sarcasm.
::: stop snickering at her last name — we get it too but she doesn’t (and probably hasn’t in a looooong time) :::

In fact, this dumbass is so concerned that today’s little innocents might just see the word ‘porn’ while shopping for new cords or board shorts and be instantly stricken blind by the Good Lord in Heaven that she is planning to detonate a doomed, comical, ill-informed one-woman bitchbomb on community leaders, government officials and anyone else who’s job it is to suffer fools like her.
::: stop pondering what’s screwing up today’s youth — you have your answer and it starts at home :::

I must admit I’m feelin’ kinda sorry for her kid right now. That dude has got to be one effed up pansy!

Oh, and just a word of caution to those community leaders, government officials and anyone else who’s job it is to suffer fools such as this — you better hope this bitch never makes it to Abercrombie & Fitch.

May 5, 2008 at 3:52 pm



Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: