Posts tagged ‘inmate’

A Very Casey Christmas

caseychowFor Casey Anthony, this year’s Christmas will be much like today … and yesterday … and the day before … and the day before that … except with better food!
::: so that’s one  in the PLUS column … :::

But being held in protective custody means she’ll have to eat her holiday meal all by her lonesome.
::: … so that  goes in the MINUS column then … :::

Buuutt — protective custody also keeps her safe from the Christmas shanking Big Liz over in cellblock B was planning to give her this year.
::: mmmkay – ‘nuther for the PLUS column … :::

Ehh, but “due to her status she will not be eligible to attend any of the Christmas programs being offered by the jail’s three ministries,” a jail spokesman, said via email.
::: ruh roh – that one’ll get ya one more  in the MINUS column … :::

Oh but don’t feel bad — she may be a Naughty List All-Pro Hall of Famer, but she’s not going totally without on this holiday which falls a mere 6 days after the remains of a child found less than a quarter mile from her home were positively identified as her ‘missing’ two-year-old daughter, Caylee.


Records show she spent $68.24 from her jail account to place a little Christmas order for herself that included food, snacks, drinks and a sketch pad. Her inmate account now has a balance of $332.62.
::: So that’s a Casey Christmas Plus Column WIN with a final score of
 TO  … :::

Ho Ho … uh uh … hell no …


December 24, 2008 at 4:08 pm 2 comments

A beautiful day in the neighborhood?

A 38-year-old convicted sex offender —>
from Sheboygan, Wisconsin no longer needs to worry about Santa’s ‘little elves’ being able to find him this Christmas.

That’s because the Sheboygan Common Council’s Public Protection and Safety Committee voted unanimously to let …

::: wait for it :::

Pheuk Kue
live in a transitional living facility in the 900 block of Michigan Avenue, when he’s released from prison December 20.
::: woo hoo … the more the merrier, right?? :::

I bet he gets a gift-wrapped basket of Phuek Off from the neighbors …


December 11, 2008 at 9:38 pm 11 comments

Do NOT prey on the peen

Flaccid men everywhere – REJOICE!

The founder of Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, which makes the male enhancement drug Enzyte, was sentenced to 25 years in prison by a federal judge in Cincinnati.
::: Bob’s not smiling so much now … :::

The judge ruled that Steve Warshak,
soon to have this view —–>
convicted on charges including fraud and money laundering, must begin serving his 25-year sentence within 30 days.
::: fresh meat on the way, fellas – meet Steve Shawshank! :::

“This case is about greed,” the judge said.
::: NO SHIT! :::
“His family and the people who work for him are also victims of his greed.”
::: eh, I kinda gotta think they sorta kinda liked the money tho … :::

A federal jury found that Warshak, his company and several other defendants were guilty of victimizing thousands of their customers by misrepresenting their products.
::: you mean wheat grass and dirt doesn’t make a teeny peeny perk right the fuck up!?!:::

In addition to the prison sentence, the judge ordered the defendants to pay more than $500 million to the victims of their scheme.

Hey judge – does that ‘victim’ category include their horny, dissatisfied partners as well?

August 29, 2008 at 10:31 am 1 comment

How To: Kill Fatty

 Richard Cooey is a loser lardbutt waste of human space retarded idiot scatwad.

I’m not spreadin’ rumors or anything!

He admits it – and so do his lawyers!
::: Well, the lardbutt part at least – the rest is a well-founded editorial opinion :::

Cooey’s the assface you see here:

While sitting on Ohio’s Death Row for the 1986 rape and murder of two women, Cooey has surmised that he is too much of a blubberhead to have that pesky little death sentence thingy carried out — and he got all suey about it just in case people weren’t listening.

His lawyers filed suit in federal court arguing that the murdering rapist they represent had poor veins when he faced execution five years ago and the problem has gotten worse as their murdering rapist client has packed on the pounds. They also say prison officials have had difficulty drawing blood from the murdering rapist they represent.
::: my heart bleeds 4 u, murdering rapist!!! :::

Attorneys for the big fat murdering rapist also say a drug their rapist-murderer fat fuck of a client takes for migraine headaches could affect the execution process.
::: if only :::
And a physician hired by the Ohio Public Defender’s Office said Cooey’s fatassness, combined with the potential drug resistance, increases the risk he would not be properly anesthetized.
::: I got a cure for that … Zzzzzzttt! :::

This story puts me in mind of the time I took my first steer to the packing plant for processing.

I’d said my (extremely tearful) goodbyes to Sir Loin at P&B MeatPacking and was walking toward the office when I heard about 4 quick squeals that were quite obvously not from delight.

Just then, a stubby guy in a bloody apron burst through a set of swinging doors.
Making a beeline for the back wall, he was muttering a healthy string of obsenities juuuust audible enough for an 11-year-old girl to memorize.

I giggled.
He stopped.
He turned around.
I swallowed my gum.
He grinned.

Then he spat on the floor, turned back toward the wall, reached up, grabbed a shotgun mounted above a homemade ‘Cash Only’ sign and disappeared back through the swinging doors.

Seconds later I heard *chhkkk chkkk* pump.
Then a blast.
Then silence.

That’s how they have to do it sometimes when the charge can’t make it through the pig’s fat.

I’m thinking a shotgun shell might be the perfect solution for the fatass murdering rapist asshole pig on Ohio’s death row who thinks he is just too much for the quiet chemicals of lethal injection.

Worth a shot, right?

August 5, 2008 at 5:57 pm 1 comment

Pansy-ass Ohioans think killing is wrong

What the hell is wrong with Ohio?

Ohio is like a prissy little girlIt was  just a couple of weeks ago that the Supreme Court said everyone could go back to the time-honored American tradition of state-sponsored, organized murder. 
— Florida was all for it!
— Mississippi thanked ’em kindly
— Kentucky gave a big Woo-Hoo
— And Texas said a Hell Yeah and a YeeeeHAW!

And then there was Ohio.
Wimp-assed, ungrateful, whiney Ohio.

She just stood there – fists clenched in anger, teetering on the edge of a major ‘You’re not the boss of me — you can’t make me!” hissy fit.

Prissy little twat.
Listen missy, if it’s good enough for the Supremes, then it should damn well be good enough for you!

::: We don’t waaaaant to. Killing is wrooooooong. blah blah blah :::

Seems they have some friggin’ moral  issue with murder in the Midwest. 

“I’m not comfortable with it,” said Ohio Gov. Ted ‘I put the Guber in Gubernatorial’ Strickland. “I hope never to be comfortable with it.”

Yeah? Well man up and GET used to it!
You are part of these United States whether you want to be or not – and being American means killing. We kill things – people, animals, the planet, the hopes and dreams of our children … it’s just what we do here.

C’mon Ohio!! You used to be badass!
You were second only to Texas as America’s preeminent killing field!
Don’t you remember the glory days?!?

Oh, but that was all before that sissified Democrat Strickland came on the scene.
Before him, Ohio had Bob Taft — a Republican Ohioans could get behind to kill, Kill, KILL on their behalf — and he liked it!

Under Taft, 24 people got to meet their maker. Under Strickland? Two.
Where’s the commitment to tradition?!?

Today, 184 inmates sit on Ohio’s death row – and many are out of appeals! Hell, they may as well be dead already – the job practically does itself … except that it’s not just Strickland holding Ohio back.
The buckeye state is also saddled with Attorney General Marc Dann — another Democrat committed to running around in tights and whining about doing the ‘right thing’.

“I think we can do better,” he said. “We need to make sure it’s being applied fairly across all racial and socio-economic groups.”

Fair Schmair, weenie!
That is NOT how we do things in today’s ill-informed-al-Qaeda-obsessed-it’s-us-or-them-Git-R-Done Wal-Merica!

Looks like someone Ohio didn’t get the memo …
Man Up, Bitch trucker hat from Cafepress

April 29, 2008 at 6:12 pm 4 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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