Posts tagged ‘idiot’

Some things never change


That was 2004.

And he’s right.
That (hate) train is never late.

Which is a million gozillion times beyond the saddest of sad things ever to spur sadness in the entire and collective history of the known universe.
At least it is for me.

Because, here I was, all peppy, proud and playfully politically puffy thinking folks were out there reading important shit, learning important shit and basically gettin’ their social and political shit all kinds of together.

Californians passed Proposition 30, which is a combined four-year, quarter-cent general sales tax increase and an income tax increase for people who make at least $250,000 a year. The money is projected to raise an average of $6 billion annually for the state’s general fund and education to prevent nearly $6 billion in “trigger cuts,” mostly to education, this year.

::: Yay Education! :::

Ballot initiatives allowing same-sex marriage passed in Washington state, Maryland and Maine.

::: Yay Equal Rights!! :::

Ballot measures legalizing pot in Colorado and Washington both passed, and initiatives legalizing marijuana for medical purposes in Massachusetts and Arkansas passed.

::: Yay Cheeto, err, Progressive Revenue Streams!!! :::

But then, alas, it happened.

The veritable tidal wave of racist rants I was fervently hoping against all possible hope would not be thought, typed or otherwise idiotically ideated flat out flooded the Twittersphere — with exactly who you’d expect to see barfing the most bigotry — Alabama and Mississippi.

::: Some things never change … :::

Racist Tweet

::: belch :::

Racist Tweet

::: blech :::

And I’m all ‘Goddamn you Alabama! Why can’t you make the news for something positive just ONCE?!’
ACK to infinity!!!

You are home to my two greatest joys and loves — my family and my beloved, sacred, down-on-their-luck-at-the-moment-but-ready-to-
RISE Auburn Tigers!!!
My happy places!!!

Why must you balance such wondrous glory and goodness with the kind of gut-level asshattery that should have died out MORE than decades ago?!?!
Quadruple ACK to infinity!!!!!

… oh, but I digress … this isn’t about me … it’s about an informed electorate … only not so much …

Floating Sheep produced a frighteningly telling geocoded map showing a spike in small-minded Tweets after election day.

They used a location quotient inspired measure (LQ) indicating each state’s share of election hate speech tweet relative to its total number of tweets. A score of 1.0 indicates that a state has relatively the same number of hate speech tweets as its total number of tweets. Scores above 1.0 indicate that hate speech is more prevalent than all tweets, suggesting that the state’s “Twitterspace” contains more racists post-election tweets than the norm.

Mississippi and Alabama have the highest LQ measures with scores of 7.4 and 8.1, respectively.

Some things people never change.

Ed. Note: I know it’s easy to be stupid and roll around in stupidity all day just being stupid and all … but now and then, just occasionally, every once in a while, open a fucking book and learn something rather than just sitting around spewing the stupid that just makes you look, well, STUPID!
This is why it’s called The White House, kittens:
It is a reference to the color of the house.
The porous sandstone walls of the building were coated with a mixture of lime, rice glue, casein and lead, which give it the white color and led to the familiar name.
It was originally called the “President’s Palace”, but was changed to “Executive Mansion” in 1810 to avoid connections with royalty.
People have always (always) historically referred to the building as the white house because of its appearance.
President Theodore Roosevelt officially adopted the name “The White House” on Oct. 12, 1901.

P.S. Pumpkins: Four More Years. Yep. Deal with it, bitches! 🙂

November 10, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Dumbass of the Day


A Florida man – separated from the missus for a measely four days – couldn’t handle not gettin’ handled and decided the most prudent way to procure the poontang was to go full-retard and TAKE IT, BITCHES!

The 24-year-old was *SHOCK* drunk when he went to the house where his bride was residing, removed an air-conditioning unit, climbed through the window and proceeded to TAKE IT, BITCHES!

‘Cept the little woman brought the ‘Hell Naw!’ to that action and called the cops on his alked-up ass.

When police arrived, Drunky McStupid walked away from them, refused to provide identification and was *SHOCK* put in handcuffs.

After being cuffed, he told the officer that he “has not gotten any in three weeks and he was going to get some.”

He was taken to jail – where is he will *SHOCK* surely ‘get some’. 😉

SOURCE

April 28, 2010 at 11:50 am 1 comment

Kill Bill (he did)


On Friday, Sen. Jim Bunning, (R-eckless) of Kentucky was the lone nay vote on a measure that would have extended cash and health insurance benefits for the unemployed … the lone nay vote that basically killed the measure.

So, thanks to Bunning, starting today, the jobless can no longer apply for federal unemployment benefits or the COBRA health insurance subsidy.

Way to go you absolute piece of SHIT!

Sen. Jeff Merkley, (D-etermined) of Oregon, quite literally begged Bunghole to change his stance.

Bunning’s response?
“Tough shit.”

Sen. Barbara Boxer, (D-edicated) of California, sent Barfbag a letter asking him to “stand down immediately”, explaining what the rest of us with brains, morals, ethics, a conscience and that little thing I like to call a HEART already know … “Unemployment insurance is a lifeline to the long-term unemployed whose families have been hit very hard by this recession”.

Bunning’s response?
“If we can’t find $10 billion somewhere for a bill that everybody in this body supports, we will never pay for anything,” he said, apparently completely fucking forgetting the $704 BILLION spent so far on the Iraq war – without everybody’s support.

As the fight debate drew to a close, Bunning complained he had been ambushed by the Democrats and was forced to miss the Kentucky-South Carolina basketball game.

Boo fucking hoo.
Tell it to the people getting downsized this week, fucker.

‘Lected yerselves a good ‘un, there, Kentucky!

Bunning’s baseness will affect a couple hundred THOUSAND of the nearly 5.4 million unemployed Americans currently receiving benefits. And, if Congress doesn’t act soon, that number will grow to 400,000 during the first two weeks of March and nearly 3 MILLION by May, according to the Labor Department.

You may want to ask yourself a couple of questions, kids:
How secure is YOUR job?
How secure is YOUR insurance?
::: Yes my precious snowflakes — the two ARE connected! :::

Unemployed Americans can receive up to 99 weeks of unemployment benefits – nearly two years – which is a record. The last time unemployment was this high, in the early ’80s, the maximum was 55 weeks. That said, in terms of overall economic activity, this downturn looks like it will be the most severe since the Depression.

Which further underscores why Bunning’s actions are a complete and total outrage.

But hey, it’s also an outrage that everyone else in the known universe isn’t raising holy fucking HELL over the actions of a senile old cocksucker who is allowed to singlefuckinghandedly cut off unemployment benefits in the middle of a Fucking RECESSION, all the while bitching about $10 billion … after his dick was one of the ones pissing away a trillionbilliongozillion fucking dollars on the war in Iraq … a war waged even though NO ONE ever had visual confirmation of weapons of mass destruction!!!

ACK!!!

Along with extending unemployment payments to laid-off workers and providing them with subsidies to help pay health premiums through the COBRA program, the bill also would have helped prevent looming (21 percent) cuts in Medicare reimbursements to doctors.

Would have.

C’mon Congress — time for action. You’ve come through before and you can do it again … maybe this time with dickweed’s vote?
Call him … explain things … demand it!
I did 😉
202-224-4343

March 1, 2010 at 11:14 am 8 comments

Dumb Bitch of the Day


Felon-in-training Stefanie Vargas of Palm Coast, Florida
———————–>
gets to wear the DB crown today for basically turning herself into the cops in the middle of a heist.

The 19-year-old and a 13-year-old accomplice were just going about their business, spending a splendid Sunday afternoon blah blahing about what they should bag as they broke into cars near a Daytona Beach nightclub.

“You gotta break that SIM card. Take that SIM card outta there. They can trace it,” one of the conniving kleptos said during a cellphone call that they *OOPSIE* made to 911.
::: Can you hear me NOW, bitches?!? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! :::

“Dispatchers listened while the two suspects discussed the difference between items that were worth taking and items that should be left behind as they rummaged through a vehicle,” police spokesman Jimmie Flynt said.

When the po-po pulled up to a car the 13-year-old was searching, he ran and jumped into a vehicle driven by Vargas and shouted: “Go, Go,” a police report states.

The criminal masterminds were *SHOCK* caught, confessed their crime, charged accordingly and are soooo grounded for, like, EVER!

Note to Stefanie: Fun is fun ’till someone butt dials the Fuzz.

SOURCE

February 25, 2010 at 11:10 am 2 comments

Adventures in Piss-Poor Parenting


Old and busted: Grounding your kid for punishment
New hotness: Making your kid murder something for punishment

Well, at least for one mentally-challenged mother in Georgia, it is.

Move over Jo-Jo ‘Tat Mom’ Marsh – there’s a new Queen of the Decidedly Dumbass!

Meet Lynn ‘Do my Crazy, Vacant, Googly Eyes Make Me Look Like A Batshit Crazy Crackah’ Middlebrooks Geter —–>

Lynn’s response to her son’s shitty report card wasn’t sending him to bed with no dinner, taking away his PlayStation or locking up the Webkinz.

Hell to the no!
Lynn’s not down with that tried-and-true shit!
She believes a lesson isn’t truly learned unless a sin’s been duly earned!

And so, for the grievous infraction of failing subtraction [or whatever the hell he came up short on] — Lynn thought the best way to impress upon her son the importance of academic excellence was to hand over a hammer and have him act as hitman on his own hamster.
::: Appropriate Response ULTRAFAIL :::

The day after his mom forced him to kill his beloved pet, Lynn’s  12-year-old soon-to-be-plagued-with-horrific-flashbacks son told his teacher … who reported it to DFCS authorities … who contacted police … who arrested Mommy Muttonhead and charged her with one count each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery.
::: Appropriate Response SUCCESS :::

If this is how she supervises schoolwork, can you just imagine how that trick handled potty training!?

Yikes.
* mad props to saratoday for the heads-up on this heinous ho *

SOURCE

January 26, 2010 at 11:53 am 3 comments

Why the South will never rise again


Because of dumbfuck retardohead asswads like this:

This must be the kind of bitch Teleflora had in mind …

Ahh steeyul doh’n b’leeve we deeyud ainee-thang roang!!!
::: AND she’s a Bama fan … you can’t make this shit up!!! :::


January 4, 2010 at 11:04 pm 5 comments

Dobbs in 2012?


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHELLNO!

The blubbery, rubbery rosacea-faced Republican got his fo’ shizzle on when asked by Fred ‘Red October’ Thompson whether he’d consider running for President in 2012.

“Yes is the answer,” he blah blah’d over the airwaves.

Lou “There’s aliens ever-whurr!” Dobbs wants the White House.
Not so fast, peepaw!
I mean, this shit ain’t presidential!
::: … or, hmmmm, IS it … :::

“I’m gonna be talking some more with some folks who want me to listen to ’em in the next few weeks. I mean I don’t even know what to tell you in terms of where I’m leaning. Because right now I’m fortunate to have a number of just wonderful options.”

Something vaguely famililar here … wakspeak … can’t commit to an original thought without prior advisor approval … no plan … don’t know … well, maybe … ‘options’ … blessed fortunate this’n’that …

… where have I heard this kind of confusing communicatory caca before??
Oh yeah …..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Get excited!!!
Ring the bells and release the doves — this is GREAT shit!!

The Republican party is just a big ol’ natty bunch of nimrods who have gone absolutely and 100% gonzo retard!
Can you smell the AWESOME?!?
I mean, this basically guarantees we’ll get ringside seats to THE greatest show on Earth – a field fucking full of mouthfarts like Beck or Limbaugh or Hannity or Coulter (don’t count that skank out) thinking their blowhardiness can blow hard enough to diminish my boyfriend‘s glittery shimmery aura of audacified hopification.

DREAM ON, BITCHES!!!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

But, you know, this could be one seriously big buncha F-U-N!
Let ’em all run!
Well, everyone but Limbaugh.
Those hamhocks rubbing together at a runner’s pace would generate enough heat to melt that fucking lardass right … where … he … stan … uhh, on second thought RUN RUSH RUUUUUUN!!!!!

November 25, 2009 at 11:04 am 4 comments

Older Posts


This is the shit you bitches are reading


Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: