Posts tagged ‘hurt’

That crack is WAK, yo!


Because I just don’t see it.

I don’t!

I mean – I can FEEL that shit, but I don’t SEE that shit.

See, that’s my knee down there (HI KNEE!) and, according to the HBIC at the walk-in I limped-in yesterday it’s cracked … maybe … possibly … so go see an orthopedic surgeon to find out for sure if that bitch is truly busticated.

So I did.
‘Cept he wasn’t sure either.

So now The Cookie’s gonna get her MRI on (NO SNEEZING, LIE STILL) tomorrow and maybe, possibly find the fuck out for good!.

Which makes me all ‘Really?!? Didn’t you guys learn how to read an X-Ray on, like, day 1 of doctor school or something?’

Because I sure can’t. But I don’t have to.
Because it’s a pretty well-established indisputable 100 kinds of true FACT that I am not a doctor or a nurse or a nurse practitioner or a medical assistant or the front-desk lady who gives out lollies.

But they are, which is why this ho hooks up with healing-types when her shit brings the hurt.

I go see people who are supposed to know shit so they can look at my shit and tell me how to fix that shit!

‘Cept modern medicine’s not as hot shit as all that.

Because it requires multiple examinations by multiple people over the course of multiple days to maybe, possibly find out why pain is radiating down my leg from the outside of my right knee and maybe, possibly fix that fuckery so I can get back to bidness!!

Sheeeeeyut!

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September 14, 2011 at 3:48 pm 1 comment

Triple Threat


coldbs
The unholy triumvirate pictured above have hearts so witch’s-titty-in-a-brass-bra cold that the Prince of Darkness had better start praying for their rehabilitation or his shit really will freeze over!

Word is these sluts formulated a revenge plot so ruthless that it left a former friend with frostbite so severe she could lose parts of one or both feet.
::: VICIOUS!! :::

22-year-old Maria Contreras-Luciano (left), 21-year-old Dyanne Velasquez (center) and 20-year-old Amber Crespo (right) face kidnapping, assault and conspiracy charges related to the alleged arctic abandonment of a 19-year-old woman who was pushed from a car …  into a snowbank  … at night … on the side of a New Jersey road … in a heavily-wooded area … wearing only a party dress and one shoe … in eight-degree weather.
::: This ain’t Survivor, bitches!! :::

The polar payback came after the victim had a car accident and sued Ho #3’s  insurance company, which prompted the skinsack to get her lunatic scream on, shouting “If you’re going to sue me then I’m going to kill you!” … whiiiich garnered her a bonus third degree charge of making terroristic threats!
::: How do you spell ringleader? C-R-E-S-P-O!!! :::

The trio “planned and plotted … to dress up and go to an imaginary party,” North Bergen Lt. Frank Cannella said.  In the ruckus of having her caboose forcibly removed from the car, one of the victim’s shoes fell off.

 “She ran back to the car and pleaded to be let back inside, but the women sped away, leaving her stranded with no cell phone, the lieutenant said.”

A passing motorist stopped and let the gelid girl use a cell phone but “refused to give her a ride because she didn’t want to get involved”.
::: Oh please Oh Please OH PLEASE tell me she got a tag number?!?! :::

Eventually, a motorist with a working brain and functioning heart stopped and took the teen to Englewood Hospital.

Can I have ‘They Sure Sound Guilty To Me‘ for $800, Alex?

PHOTOS COURTESY OF NORTH BERGEN POLICE

January 29, 2009 at 4:49 pm 3 comments

Boob vs. booby bar: Your tax dollars at work


It went from bow chicka bow bow to bow chicka bowOWW  when a stipper workin’ the pole at the local tittay bar sent her Stiletto soaring with something as simple as a singular toe flick.

I hate it when that happens! You step into your spinback on the way to the hip-reveal and whammo! – wardrobe malfunc …. uhh, well, I mean, that’s what I hear can happen …

Aannnyputmyselfthroughcollege, that shoe shot off, shattered the mirrored ceiling and sent glass raining down like silvery shards of lawsuit all over 35-year-old Charles Privette.
::: poor widdul pervert – him gots a boo boo :::

George Gettinger, general manager of Margate’s Booby Trap,  confirmed such an incident happened and paramedics were called, but the emergency responders apparently weren’t too worried about Privette’s injuries.
“A quote from the paramedics was, ‘I can’t believe you even called us for this,'” Gettinger said.

But panty waste hired himself a lawyer anyway (like you didn’t see that coming) and filed himself a lawsuit, wherein he states that he sustained a small laceration to his eyebrow, headaches and nose bleeds as a result of the Jan. 14 shoeing and is seeking at least $15,000 in damages because The Booby Trap breached “its duty when its employee failed to perform her routine in (a) reasonably safe manner.”
::: and you thought you had to have a ‘gina to be a gold digger, didn’t you?!?  tsk tsk :::

Seriously people, can’t we just toss this prick a few sticky pennies from the floor of the Champagne Room and call it even Stevens?

October 15, 2008 at 8:25 pm


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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