Posts tagged ‘holiday’

Happy Birthday Big Jeezy!


And to those of you who didn’t get what you wanted … deal.

It’s not time to clock out just yet. ūüėČ

252_22958_9fa125f460bb81d861f4e5f086eaae58

Merry Merry!

XOXO — Cookie

P.S. – Cookie Toss This Week ūüėČ

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December 25, 2012 at 10:26 pm

London Calling


It is ON!
I am DOIN’ it!!
You better be ready, Great Britain!!!

Lock up the London Cookiebooze and tie up the hounds, ’cause this¬†little trick is LONDON-bound!!

Gonna take in the Thames, check out Ye Old Cheshire Cheese, make my way through the Tate Modern, eat a bite at the crypt cafe in the Church of St. Martin In The Fields, see St. James Park, the Blue Bridge, the Churchill War Rooms, the Wallace Collection, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Fleet Street, Dickens House, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Tower Bridge, Piccadilly Circus, Foyles, London Bank, Green Friday Market … man, I am gonna do it ALL!

Now, y’all have to promise to behave while I’m gone — m’kay pumpkins??
I might even bring you some spotted dick if you’re really good! ūüėČ

Later, bitches!

November 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm 1 comment

And the Wholly Hypocritical Award goes to …


This morning, an eco-conscious acquaintance was bemoaning the fate of the planet in face of the conspicuous consumerism that naturally takes place this time of year and blah blahing on and on about:
— the excessive amounts of garbage generated from piles and piles of discarded product packaging …
— the overuse of electricity from people adorning their abodes with every available form of twinkly holiday ornamentation …
— the gargantuan supply of gasoline wasted by people schlepping from store to store in search of the perfect gift a last-minute stocking stuffer …

I tried to interject on mankind’s behalf ¬†but she cut me off saying she just remembered she had to run to Target to pick up more wrapping paper …

December 20, 2009 at 3:42 pm 1 comment

Hallow-LEAN?


North Korea test launching five short-range missiles? Big whoop.
Swine *cough* flu *wheeze* vaccine shortages? So *sniff* what.
Bleak economic and jobs outlook for 2010? Who cares.

Why?

Because Mother Nature is fucking with the fall holidays, y’all!

The unusually wet wet weather that bitch has been bringing is wreaking all-out HAVOC on Halloween and thinning out the offerings on your Thanksgiving table by leaving a paucity of pumpkins in her wake!

“It has been a weird weather situation,” said Bob Richard of Cox Farms of Virginia. “Usually we have no trouble at all getting brokers to bring us pumpkins. But Pennsylvania farmers are seeing yields down 50 to 70 percent.”

OH NO!!! 50 TO 70 PERCENT!!!!!
This is nothing short of pumpkin PANDEMONIUM!

I don’t think there are enough EXCLAMATION POINTS in the world to illustrate the sheer severity of the situation!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(OK … maybe there are …)

“We have as many as we need to get through Columbus Day weekend, our busiest time, but we are concerned about what will happen next week.”
Umm, he means this week then, right?
Right.

PUMPKIN PANDEMONIUM!

And it’s not just the Cox in Virginia that’s suckin’ it.
Pumpkin patchers in Pennsylvania, Maryland, New England and, well, EVERYWHEREUSA are suffering.

SUFFERING!!!

“If you saw our field, you’d say it looks beautiful,” pumpkin producer Edward LeBlanc said. “You would say, ‘Wow, look at all the pumpkins.’ But we’d be saying, ‘Wow, look at all the pumpkins that aren’t going to quite make it,’ or ‘Look at all the pumpkins that aren’t going to be large enough size to sell.’

And isn’t THAT just a roundaboutcircuitiousway of saying SHORTAGE!!!!

SHORTAAAAAGE!!!!!

What’s to become of our pumpkin-based holidays???

libbys-canned-pumpkin-de-1No more creepy carvings?
::: Damn, and it’s always so much fun watching little Timmy fumble around with daddy’s knife :::
Will Ned not get seconds of granny’s Punkin’ Pie?
::: Ehh, that one’s not so terrible … her tart will go on … :::
And just WHAT – pray tell – is to become of South Carolina’s Pumpkin Princess Pageant?
::: Stagemom meltdown in 3 … 2 … :::

ACK!
This is terrible!

May the gourd have mercy on our souls!

SOURCE

October 13, 2009 at 10:23 am 2 comments

Happy Fourth, Bitches!


Yeah, it’s a day [and a half, give or take] early but this ho’s gotta get her happr4thbitcheslong-weekend bender a’brewin’ so I do not have time to dwell on the demise of Jeff Goldblum as reported by Jeff Goldblum or any of the other not-dead celebs not out there being dead or dying and stuff.

No time for that shit, ‘kay?

I gotsta get my drink on – and¬†you do,¬†too – it’s, like, the law!

So crack it, pour it, mix it and raise it high for a Happy Adoption of the Declaration of Independence Day!

Let’s party like it’s 1776 …

July 2, 2009 at 8:38 pm 2 comments

Read, Remember, Reflect


Martin Luther King Jr.

King’s Nobel Prize
The King Memorial
The King Center

January 19, 2009 at 11:10 am 1 comment

I just don’t get it



Would you stand online at 4 a.m. for with hundreds of tired, cranky, jacked-up-on-too-much-caffeine freaky folks to get this stupid thing?¬†–>

I wouldn’t, but according to the local rag, two breeders with seven dwarfs kids between them did just that.

These two bitches rolled up at 3 in the A and M, and were queued up with the other losers waiting to snag a bunch of Polly Pocket crap and Littlest Pet Shop shit their spawn will break and lose before Easter.

If, as the saying goes, time actually is money, then I fail to find the bargain here.

Surely there’s a better way to have a merry merry than to¬†pull third-shift hours in pursuit of some silly plaything that’s soon to be pass√©.

November 28, 2008 at 2:39 pm 18 comments

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