Posts tagged ‘Hillary Clinton’

Mindin’ his biznass

Time for white folks, pundits and geezers to freak the fuck out!

A black person has issued forth verbiage that could potentially, just maybe – in the right lighting if the earth is spinning at the appropriate speed and you are peering at the words through the looking glass at a perfect 90 degree angle – be interpreted as ‘offensive‘ and ‘hurtful’ to my boyfriend’s quest for world domination the U.S. Presidency.

But isn’t that just Ludacris is being, uhh, well – ludicrous?!?

Lyrics to his new song ‘Politics: Obama is here’ have been released and the general consensus is that Luda done lost his mind, y’all!

“This song is not only outrageously offensive to Senator Clinton, Reverend Jackson, Senator McCain, and President Bush, it is offensive to all of us who are trying to raise our children with the values we hold dear,” the campaign said.
“While Ludacris is a talented individual he should be ashamed of these lyrics.”
::: Poor Luda — c’mere — I gots yer hug right here sweetums :::

Wait – did I write that right? The campaign said?
Oh yeah, that’s right. Well they’d have to because you KNOW Yummy Tummy was jammin’ to that bad boy on his iPod at the gym!

Hillary hated on you, so that bitch is irrelevant
Jesse talking slick and apologizing for what?
if you said it then you meant it how you want it have a gut!
and all you other politicians trying to hate on my man,
watch us win a majority vote in every state on my man
you can’t stop what’s bout to happen, we bout to make history
the first black president is destined and it’s meant to be
the threats ain’t fazing us, the nooses or the jokes
so get off your ass, black people, it’s time to get out and vote!
paint the White House black and I’m sure that’s got ‘em terrified
McCain don’t belong in ANY chair unless he’s paralyzed
Yeah I said it cause Bush is mentally handicapped

I mean, ok – I may not agree with all of the above but I gotta say I’m not finding too much issue with his Bush comment.
::: juvenile tee hees all around! :::

But ok — so we have to have a controversy about it and ‘the campaign’ had to issue a damning statement.
::: yawn :::

I think O’Baby and Luda-FOIN-ASS-cris should settle this the old fashioned way:
Nude K-Y Wrestling Match!

Don’t worry, I’ll totally referee!!

July 30, 2008 at 8:03 pm 3 comments

Hung up on race, gender and age

Obama Clinton McCain

I think we can forget about getting past ‘the race issue’ or ‘the gender issue’ or ‘the age issue’ this never-ending primary season.

::: Sigh :::

I’ve been waiting for at least ONE issue to take root and flower into a real point of discussion but Primary-palooza 2008 hasn’t seen any deep, meaningful discussion on a national level about important things like Hillary’s health care plan or Barry’s foreign policy views or Johnny’s back-and-forth on immigration reform … no, no.
We don’t care about that junk. The issues we care about are race, gender and age.

Is he black enough? Excuse me?
Can a woman really lead a nation? Are you kidding?
How old it ‘too old’ when it comes to being president?
Is this in dog years?

Iraq, Iran, North Korea, the European Union, mortgage meltdowns, credit crises, natural disasters, economic collapse … Hillary drank a shot, Barack shot a game of pool, what did Chelsea say about Monica, McCain called his wife the C-word, Rev. Jeremiah Wright said something bad, Hillary said ‘white’ …

Ya …
It’s ok – I already know which ones got your attention. Everyone knows. That’s why THOSE are the ‘campaign issues’ getting teevee airtime.

::: double sigh :::

Is our national identity really so inextricably bound to its white, male dominated foundation that we can’t seem to collectively get past the fact that only one of three candidates left in the running for our country’s highest office is one – and an old one at that?!?

Seems so.

But is this really surprising?
Seems not.
Three things American’s don’t value much (don’t argue — check your history – it’s true):
The Elderly
The very things we’re completely hung up on while trying to select our next President.
Oh goody – because what’s more American than tunnel-vision?

So Barry’s half black – yay!
So Hills has a vadge and tatas — woo hoo!
And Big Mac is, like, a thousand years old – awesome!

To my mind, these characteristics neither qualify nor disqualify any candidate from running, yet they seem pivotal to electability this season. People are voting based on nothing more than this one piece of info …

They are. They have. They will again in November.

It’s a crying shame because if the past eight years taught us nothing it should have proven beyond all doubt that the old saying is true:
The most dangerous weapon known to man is an ill-informed voter.

What kind of president do you want? One who looks like you or one who cares about you (the two are not necessarily mutually exclusive, you know …)

May 15, 2008 at 7:01 pm 2 comments

Snooty and Fallooty Soldier On

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama

And we still don’t have a nominee …


May 7, 2008 at 10:24 am 6 comments

Wishful thinking

Charles BarkleyPolitics – it’s not just for out-of-touch elitist assholes (or liars or crooks or child touchers or drug users or hooker-hirers …) anymore!

Sure, we laughed at the Obama-Clinton steel-cage wrestling deathmatch (VF, btw) and got a chuckle imagining Cindy’s Botox goin’ bad after Big Mac called her the C-word on a campaign stop and goodness knows the Shrubster is a never-ending source of hee hee – but we’re not talking about these  walking cadavers.
Nosiree – we’re talkin’ ’bout Sir Charles and Miss Izz!

mmm Hmmmm — those two fierce bitches could get things done!

Charles Barkley visited The Tonight Show last week and told Jay Leno that he was considering running for mayor of his hometown of Leeds, Alabama because there are ‘too many crooks on the City Council”. We were all ‘yay and stuff’ because CB’s a hot piece who doesn’t pull his punches and we repsect the hell outta that.

Sure, he’s teased us before with talk of running for Governor of Alabama and lots of white people said he wasn’t qualified to be a politician so he should just stay in sports. But if Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura can be governor of Minnesota and Arnold ‘The Nazi’ Schwarzenegger can be governor of California — then what’s there to stop The Round Mound of Rebound from taking the oath?

mmm Hmmmmm !!

Eddie IzzardAnd then there’s our favorite ‘action tranny’ – Eddie Izzard – who’s telling Newsweek reporters that he is so worried about the curent state of his much-beloved European Union that he may add ‘working politician’ to his sparkly, perfumed resume so he can stick his platform heel up the arse of every lazy pol currently screwing things up.


What? You can’t picture it?

Now … let your mind time-travel to the worldwide utopia created in the aftermath of the:
1.) Obama presidency, when Barry created an entirely new mathematical dialogue which solved the credit crisis, eliminated the federal deficit and righted the blighted housing landscape
2.) Clinton presidency, when HRC did away with that whole pesky primary process, gave the electoral college a complete makeover and used Barry’s groundbreaking methodology regarding astrophysics and environmental engineering to end the Global Warming trend forever

Yesssss … and now on to the time when President Barkley and Prime Ministress Izzard are the big swinging dicks of the G8; the time when the emerging markets of Haiti and Darfur are the hot topics among economic heavyweights and the nearly lost, ancient art of reading is fashionable once again …

What? You still  can’t picture it?
Me either — that’s what happens when I do too much kitty flipping in one day.

April 22, 2008 at 9:51 pm 4 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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