Posts tagged ‘hair’

Gather ‘Round The Disco Bald

Jim Eastabrook is SO giving Philip Levine the side-eye!

While it’s true and I can’t deny that nobody rocks a rug like Jim Eastabrook – it’s got to be said that across this whole and entire planet there is NOBODY who bedazzles his baldness like Philip Levine!

“I thought why not use it as a canvas, paint and attach things to my head using the border of where my hair would be,” he said.


Just look at those coiffureless creations!

For four years, the 28-year-old London-based cultural attaché, club promoter and all-around trend-setter, has been using his “lengthening forehead” as a canvas.
With the assistance and artistic expertise of body painter Kat Sinclair, Levine’s creative cranium has become something of an underground phenomenon in the clubs of London.

But his head became truly H-O-T when it got called up from the minors and landed in the mainstream of English art-and-design discussion the day Levine debuted his “crystal” head.


“Using hundreds of thumbtack-sized Swarovski crystals, Levine has created a swooping, shimmery, rockabilly mane. It’s apparently magic in the sunlight. It’s also pleasantly transitory – the crystals begin to fall off after a day’s wear,” a reporter recently wrote.


On average the designs take two hours to create, but some of the more elaborate have taken up to five hours and are therefore reserved for parties.

Damn! I knew there was something I forgot to bring to the b’day fest this weekend!


April 12, 2010 at 10:14 am 1 comment

Some advice for John McCain

Barack Obama is a lot younger than John McCain

Anyone but me see the potential for a Nixon-Kennedy type age/charisma/sweaty old man thing shaping up here?

Hey there Big Mac, you may be one sexy old beeyatch but get a damn makeover already!!


— The ruddiness of your geriatric paperskin makes your teeth look yellow. Bleach those Chiclets, will ya?
— Pluck or dye those scarybrows
— Tuck in the turkey-waddle
— And lose the combover, ‘kay? There’s nothin’ goin’ on up there. It’s ok. We know … you’re bald.

Take your Maverick Beef and go consult the expert maintaining physical stasis for more precise directions.
No – not Dick Clark! The old C-word herself — your wife, Cindy Lou, you silly!

Make an appointment and get your hot cross buns to a spa.
Git R Done, peepaw!

Trust me — you can benchpress a gozillion pounds on national teevee, armwrestle Schwarzenegger, swim the English Channel and Bungee jump the Empire State Building — but the moment you stand next to Barry the Beautiful you will look like America’s great uncle Nestor — the smelly old guy you prayed wouldn’t stand next to you in every family photo.
Ahh yes, Uncle Nestor — the geezer with the cold, shaky, age-spotted hands who remembers being the first family on his street to have a telephone, smiles sweetly when talking about penny candy and ‘talkies’ and falls asleep ten minutes after Sunday dinner (which is served in the afternoon).

You wanna be that guy?

June 4, 2008 at 6:13 pm 15 comments

So NOT bringing sexy back

Andy Garcia has a hairy back

Updated lyrics inspired by Andy Garcia’s fur coat:

He’s got a hairy back
Them paparazzi don’t know how to act
I think it’s gross what’s growing from your back
So turn around or I’ll throw up my snack
Take him to the spa!

Dirty back
You see that rear mane 
Baby needs a shave
A nasty back rug makes me want to heave
It’s just that humans shouldn’t look this way

Take him to the spa!


May 21, 2008 at 2:03 pm 3 comments

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