Posts tagged ‘grotesque’

Here we go again …

!!!!! SICK BITCH ALERT !!!!!
!!!!! SICK BITCH ALERT !!!!!
!!!!! SICK BITCH ALERT !!!!!


Geez it’s gonna be crowded at the Mother Of The Year awards!

It seems like just yesterday that the hoochie twins were making news for their partiality to little-boy peen … and now we get to add 38-year-old Juli Faunce to our ever-growing ‘Pedo’ file.

But, unlike Tweedle Defective and Tweedle Diseased, Faunce doesn’t go for 13-year-old ass.
Nope! She likes ’em older!
Lean, mean and not a blackhead over 14!!!
::: … can’t drive, can’t shave, can’t stay up past 9 — oh yeah, so much to offer! :::

faunceOn Sunday December 28, police were called to her Delaware apartment where Mamma Bad Perm put on her big fat liar face and told the popo that a neighborhood boy had forced her 14-year-old daughter to have sex with him.
::: Little whipperslut!! :::

The fuzz then contacted the boy’s mother who said her son had sex alright — but it was with Mamma Faunce – not her teenage daughter.
::: PREDITORY! :::

Suddenly Juli gets jiggy with the factitudes and admits that *SHOCK* ‘yes, officer, I did have sexual relations with that boy!’ … on at least TWO occasions when he spent the night at her crib in November.

And that mess about Mr. Baby Luvah having sexy times with her daughter?


December 30, 2008 at 2:30 pm 7 comments

Daily Caylee – IT’S HER

Remains identified as Caylee Anthony

It’s Caylee Marie. The five-month mystery ended today when authorities confirmed that skeletal remains discovered in woods last week belong to the missing two-year-old girl.


December 19, 2008 at 7:12 pm

Yes, I DO want extra fries with that miracle

Well pass the peanut butter and toss me a Twinkie — there’s hope for my hips on the horizon!

“Scientists hunting for a fat-burning drug have a new candidate that may help keep extra weight off, even on a high-fat diet.”
::: cornbread + bacon = fatty go bye bye?!? Get OUT!!! :::

miracleOh sweet light of heaven above – I’ve waited my whole life for this moment — to be rewarded for my complete committment and utter devotion to sloth and gluttony!

Don’t laugh! This is serious! It’s a lifestyle not everyone can handle. You have to want it bad and answer tough questions every day!
Is there such a thing as too much butter?
Why can’t I fry everything in pork fat and cheese?
Is meat dipped in chocolate really a bad thing?

And now I know the answer:
:::: fat pill, oh fat pill – I pledge my love to thee … :::

highfatmouseUnfortunately, it’ll be a while before I can suck down sausage gravy with wild abandon. The drug’s only in the ‘experimental’ phase.
::: Let me be a tester!! I have LOTS of experience with ‘chemical’ experimentation!!!! :::

It’s called SRT1720 and has only been tested on mice, but when Mickey and Minnie were given a high dose of SRT1720 every day for three months, they didn’t gain weight on a high-fat diet.
::: so. Damned. EXCITED!!! Ahhhh!!!!! :::

What’s more, it boosted their metabolism, increased endurance and strength AND didn’t make the mice go mental of eff with regular digestion.
::: giveittomenow!!! GIVEITTOMENOW!!!  GIVEITTOMENOW!!!!! :::

Everybody’s soon-to-be new bff is being developed by wonderful people I want to shower with love, doughnuts and chocolate milk who work for Sirtris Pharmaceuticals, a GlaxoSmithKline company.

Along with my bellybutton, I think I just found my next stock purchase …

November 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm 2 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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