Posts tagged ‘greedy’

I bet THIS wasn’t on his Bucket List!


The dumb skank who admits she knowingly got into a car with a possibly drunk Morgan Freeman last August is now suing that hot piece for negligence, saying she wants to ‘clear her name from claims she was his mistress’.
::: And bank some sweet coin, of course! :::

Demaris ‘Do My Eyes Make Me Look Like A Crazy Gold-Digging Whore’ Meyer held an L.A. news conference where she whined about being labeled the ‘other woman’, channeled her inner Blogojevich and vowed to fight, Fight, FIGHT until cleanliness and dignity are restored to her allegedly once-good name.
::: … uh huh, good luck with that … :::

“I had hoped and prayed that Mr. Freeman or his representatives would have set the record straight and cleared my name, but they have not done so and that is why I have chosen to come forward to tell the truth about our relationship,” she bellyached to a handfull of people who, if we’re being honest here, probably only showed up to see what a potential Freeman fuckbuddy looked like.
::: … now we know? :::

According to her four-page lawsuit, she hopes to squeeze the Oscar-winner for pastpresentandfuture medical expenses, short-term memory loss , pain and suffering, some kind of short-term memory loss, pastpresentandfuture lost wages, permanent disability for short-term memory loss and other damages. Oh, and some sort of loss of memory … or something … and, uhh, don’t forget that big fucking truckload of money, bitches!!
::: … because nothing screams ‘Innocent Choir Girl’ louder than a legal shakedown … :::

The whole almost-hookup apparently happened because a mutual friend invited her to a dinner party so she could fuck meet the actor. She went, they dined, they got their drink on, they left and went back to the mutual friend’s house, they got their drink on there, then Miss Daisy jumped in Hoke’s Nissan and were makin’ the dash to his pad when things got all crashy.
::: … just your typical first-date stuff … :::

According to her [bullshit] lawsuit, she was in Freeman’s car only because he kindly offered to let her spend fucky times the night at his home — seeing as how “it would be much closer for Ms. Meyer to travel to her place of employment the next morning from Mr. Freeman’s home” than from the home of their mutual friend.

Uh huh … ‘cept Freeman’s house is in Charleston, Mississippi (89.5 miles from Meyer’s Memphis abode) and the friend lives in Clarksdale, Mississippi (77.6 miles from Memphis) — which would make it, like, NOT closer and stuff?

Oh but hey, in her defense, anyone stupid enough to get  in a car with someone they admit [in writing — filed with the courts] had been drinking, really isn’t the kind of brainiac who can be reasonably expected to handle simple geography or exhibit any of her own accountability or, you know,  personal responsibility or anything … right?

Right?

Right?

SOURCE
LAWSUIT

February 26, 2009 at 4:34 pm 13 comments

Darned SHOOTIN’!


And the award for Most Retarded Display of Selfish Corporate Fuckery goes to …

McDonald’s! – for their patent refusal of Workman’s Compensation benefits to an employee who was shot [at the MCDonald’s where he worked] while trying to defend a woman who was being beaten [at the MCDonald’s where he worked].
::: Way to go, corporate fuckers!! :::

Nigel Haskett’s heroics earned him three abdominal surgeries and a permanent reminder of the universal law that no good deed goes unpunished in the form of a partial bullet — forever lodged — in his back.
::: Who says you can’t take it with you?!? :::

Haskett’s unselfish actions also garnered the highest admiration and respect from his employer.

HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Noooo — just kidding!

McDonald’s really couldn’t have said ‘Fuck Off Loser Scum!’ more quickly or more clearly.

Facing more than $300,000 in medical bills from the shooting [at the MCDonald’s where he worked], Haskett filed a claim with the state Workers Compensation Commission — to which McDonald’s replied, well,  ‘Fuck Off Loser Scum!’
::: See! :::

In a letter to the Commission, McDonald’s insurer wrote: “we have denied this claim in its entirety as it is our opinion that Mr. Haskett’s injuries did not arise out of or within the course and scope of his employment.”
::: I’ll bet his timecard begs to differ! :::

The McLawyers say McEmployees are given strict McInstruction to ‘do nothing’ that would put themselves or anyone else in danger during the course of their McWorkday.

Oooook — and, umm, the McCustomers? Any advice on their safety, Mickey D?!?

Ohhhh riiiight – ‘Fuck Off Loser Scum!’ – GOTCHA!

In a clear deviation from Chapter 6, paragraph 13 of McDonald’s We Didn’t See Nuthin’ Customer Beatdown policy, Haskett’s boss Ray Nosler called him a hero for his actions last August and contributed to a fund setup for his employee.

“We are all grateful to Nigel and that’s why it is so unfortunate that he’s having a difficult time with the insurance claim,” Nosler says.  “Because the insurance claim is still pending, I’m not able to say more about it, but I hope his claim will come to a quick resolution and the right thing will be done for my employee.”
::: awwww – i haz cry :::

Video of the incident had been available on YouTube, but now there is a disclaimer that reads: This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by McDonald’s Corporation.

They don’t want to own up to any responsibility for what happens in their restaurants but they’ll sure as shit own the evidence!
::: I’m not lovin’ it :::

Eh, McFuckem — you can watch it here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So what do you think?
Should the Evil Clown Empire cough up some cash or should we just all understand we’re taking our lives in our hands each time we frequent the corporate-sanctioned anything goes, lawless wasteland that is your neighborhood McDonald’s?

SOURCE

February 23, 2009 at 11:34 am 3 comments

They usually don’t fall far


appleandtree

Ex-Blagojevich adviser pleads guilty

January 16, 2009 at 9:07 pm 5 comments

… don’t get fooled again?


flyingpigWith all the airborne people movers suckin’ up space in the Hudson, lame mea culpas from outgoing presidunces and the upcoming coronation of the Glorious Sunshine King of Hope – you may not have noticed that some shit actually kinda got done on the Hill yesterday.

Votes cast, approvals made, limits approved, Republicans whined … OMG! I get misty just thinking about it!!! 

happymoneyI mean, ok, so yeah – Uncle Sam is about to cross the t’s and dot the i’s on another taxpayer-funded Bank of America welfare check.

A $20 billion welfare check Senators said ‘sure sure, ok’ to when they voted to release the last $350 billion in financial-rescue funds from the way popular Troubled Asset Relief Program rammed up America’s ass enacted last year.

Oh, but don’t worry there citizen!
I know the banks are all ‘gimme gimme gimme but I ain’t giving YOU shit!’ and ‘Fuck you Mr. Taxpayer‘ and everything — but it’s cool.
It’s good.
It’s aaalllll gonna be ok!

Why?
Because the karmic winds of change are blowing, silly! And soon we will all bathe in shimmery golden droplets of everlasting heavenly promise.

It’s true!
It’s all part of my boyfriend‘s massive stimulus package  … and there’s even a little something for Joe Sixpack over there, standing in the breadline on Mainstreet!
::: Umm, but don’t get carried away, Joe — this ain’t the Taxpayer Lotto. Bank of America won that in the first go round … :::

cryinggopInstead of doing the historically Republican thing and stamping their feet and executing a kindergarten-esque crying jag on the steps of Congress, Transition Teamers took a different path and borrowed a page from the ‘Working Together’ playbook the big kids use.
::: UNPRECEDENTED!!! :::

O’Baby’s top money dude, Lawrence Summers, totally pinky swore they’re gonna use $50 billion to $100 billion for “a sweeping effort to address the foreclosure crisis.”
::: … that’s your cut, Joe… :::

And we have Summers’ word of honor that they’re taking the  freebie, no strings, all-you-can-get dish off the menu at the bailout buffet.
::: NEATO! :::

THIS TIME there are gonna be some black-leather-biker-bar-tough oversights and tracking and accountability and all kiiinds of conscientious-sounding words to show the mega-seriosity surrounding how the money is used!
::: *sniff* I’m not sure but that smells like change I can believe in! SPIFFERIFIC!!! :::

But wait! There’s more!
The powers that are about to be are totally gonna get all restrictiony about executive pay at firms that receive help … this time.
::: Frealz? I’m fragile … don’t toy with me! :::

“I know this wasn’t an easy vote because of the frustration so many of us share about how the first half of this plan was implemented,” O’Beautiful said as he beamed approval from a cloudless sky.
“Now my pledge is to change the way this plan is implemented and keep faith with the American taxpayer.”
::: I’m gonna hold you to it, hot stuff!! :::

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.” – Dumbya

January 16, 2009 at 6:52 pm 3 comments

If you say so


blaggylegosm“I will fight. I will fight. I will fight until I take my last breath, ” Illinois Governor Rod ‘Grabbyhands” Blagojevich blah blah’d this afternoon to a bunch of people who’ve already requested press credentials for his trial.

“I have done nothing wrong, and I’m not going to quit a job that people hired me to do because of false accusations and a political lynch mob,” he said, his voice raised in an unsuccessful effort to be heard above the gigglefest going on around him.

blaggylego1Hey PRICKS! “Afford me the same rights that you and your children have. The presumption of innocence. The right to defend yourself!” he shrieked.

“I have on my side the most powerful ally there is: the truth.”
::: and several million in undisclosed ‘contributions’ in three separate offshore accounts … :::

“Besides, I have the personal knowledge that I have not done anything wrong,” he concluded before unexpectedly screaming ‘TASTE MY LEAD, BITCHES!!!!’, grabbing the briefcase full of money he’d demanded in exchange for his prepared statement and running for the nearest exit.

SOURCE

December 19, 2008 at 9:06 pm 8 comments

APpalled?


So I was drinki, uhh, talking with a friend last night about the recent employee standoff at Republic Windows and Doors and we were all ‘Power to the People’ and ‘Stick it to the Man’ and ‘Score one for the Little Guy’ and feeling pretty proud of the proletariat, which made me all ‘more mojitos!’ when my friend leaned in and confided that he, too, was taking part in just such an action this week.
::: SWISHY!!! :::

Seems some of the rank and file at the Associated Press are more than a little rankled that they’re not gettin’ management money-love, so now they’re all ‘No byline for you!’ and are waging a small-scale media mutiny.
::: cute :::

“They have the temerity to attempt a contractually obligated pay freeze next year,” my friend hissed through his teeth, “and then they want to further insult us with a paltry two percent raise after that? KNOWING we’re asking for – and, quite frankly, expecting to get – a proper 10! I mean really! Can you believe that fucking horseshit?!? Can you???”

Umm, like yeah and stuff?

Such an outwardly hostile sense of entitlement may lead you to assume he shoots for Donatella or Elie Saab … or AIG or Bank of America … but no. He’s AP.

And, in his defense, I must tell you that my friend has been away.

Far away.

He’s been working on a photography project in the Ardennes countryside – so he’s kind of new to this whole ‘world going to hell in a handbasket and taking the job/housing/banking/technology/andeverythingelsethatsustainsyou market with it’ thingamafuck the rest of us have been trudging through all year.

He didn’t get the memo about America’s new national employment policy:
Wage Freeze + Weensy Updward Rationing = Hopefully Potentially Possibly Maybe Being Able to Stay in Business Through the New Great Depression.

And, apparently, neither did some other folks.

“Staffers recognize the tough times, but they also understand that quality journalism at AP means attracting and retaining the best employees,” said Tony Winton, president of the News Media Guild

Now, anyone who knows me knows I am ALL FOR agitatin’ and pot stirrin’ and basically doing whatever it takes to be the biggest pain in the ass you can possibly be because, well, that’s just how I roll … AND I am ALL FOR MONEY!!! …  buuuutttt when
– you work in an economy that’s lost 1.9 million jobs this year (including more than 15,000 of your own brethren) …
– AND your company has already announced a 10% workforce reduction for the coming year …
– AND dues-paying members are so fed up with your company’s rate restructuring they’re defecting left and right …
– AND your competitors are aggressively teaming up against you and are nine THOUSAND kinds of eager to strike a deal with those former in-the-biz bffs …
– AND what little space remains in the ever-dwindling newshole of American media is quickly morphing from info- to ADVERtainment — effectively making moot your point of the perceived value of what , exactly, it is that you do for a living …

Umm, wow … I’m dizzy … where was I? … Oh yeah — my point!

I think that before I got on my talented and principled yet pompous and pampered high horse that I might consider taking a good long look around, getting myself a nice-sized clue and continuing to do the job I “didn’t get into for the money” but get paid well to do already …

… but that’s just me …

December 17, 2008 at 11:16 am 4 comments



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