Posts tagged ‘grandmother’


This is some Book of John shit right here!

A 60-year-old woman, blind for nearly a decade, can see again!

But “God” God can’t take the credit for this one. Nuh uh!

That honor goes to a team of “Doctor” gods at the Bascom Palmer Eye Institute at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine who performed an unusual but revolutionary surgery on the Mississippi grandmother.


Sharron Thornton suffers from Stevens-Johnson syndrome and was rendered blind after an allergic reaction to a medication which damaged her cornea. She had tried many medical procedures, including gene therapy, but nothing brought her sight back.

“Being blind was horrible after seeing for 51 years,” she said.

The procedure she had in Miami — get ready to be amazed and impressed but, yeah, probably also a little freaked out — involved implanting one of her teeth into her eye as a base to hold a tiny plastic lens.

No foolin’!
It’s the tooth!!

“We take sight for granted, not realizing that it can be lost at any moment,” she said after the surgery. “This truly is a miracle.”

Because a lot of patients’ bodies reject transplanted or artificial corneas, American doctors — for the first time ever — used an Italian-pioneered procedure called (don’t hurt yourself on this one) osteo-odonto-kerato-prosthesis in which the canine or “eyetooth” and surrounding bone are extracted, shaved and sculpted. Doctors then drill a hole into it to insert an optical cylinder lens.

Freakycool, right?!? But there’s more!

The tooth and the lens are then implanted under the patient’s skin in the cheek or shoulder for two months so they could bond. Once bonded, they are implanted in the center of the eye after a series of procedures to prepare the socket.

“A hole is made in the mucosa for the prosthetic lens, which protrudes slightly from the eye and enables light to re-enter the eye allowing the patient to see once again,” read an Eye Institute statement.

And just like the dude in John 9:25 … Thornton now too can say ‘whereas I was blind, now I see’.

Biblical AND Scientifical – YAY!!!

Thornton said people should imagine what it is like “if you could keep your eyes closed just for one week … it’s amazing what you see when you open your eyes again.”

Her bandages were removed two weeks ago and she was able to recognize objects and faces a few hours later. She is now able to read a newspaper.

But what does she most want to see?
You guessed it – the fam!

“I’m looking forward to seeing my seven youngest grandchildren for the first time,” said Thornton.

Rock ON science!




September 23, 2009 at 10:22 am 1 comment

Christmas Eve Inquiry

As Ol’ Man Winter puts the screws to holiday travel plans for thousands, Norad’s putting the final touches on this year’s hi-res Santa Cam to let the kiddies know – down to the nanosecond – just exactly when his jolly fatness will be droppin’ their loot.
::: YAY – SANTA LOJACK!!! :::

Google announced Tuesday afternoon that children — and even all the big kids out there — will be able to track St. Nick’s journey around the world using Google Maps and Google Earth.
::: Fat man’s comin! Fat man’s comin! :::

But for those not fortunate enough to travel on a craft fueled by positive thoughts, sugar and reindeer, Christmas Eve isn’t quite as fun … or easy.
::: You mean Detroit doesn’t make that model for everyone? ::: 

Snowstorms have crippled airports, highways and rail lines across the country, stranding travelers for hours, days and, in some cases – throughout the entire holiday.

We were on our way to the airport and my grandma called and said the flight was canceled,” said Blaine Skelton, 21, who spent last Christmas in Iraq, is stationed at Camp Pendleton and was traveling with his wife.

Skelton’s no longer counting on getting home for Christmas because the next available flight is three days after the holiday. Worse yet, this will probably be his last chance to visit family members before he is deployed again.

… which begs the question:

December 24, 2008 at 11:24 am 1 comment

That’ll teach her!

A 14-year-old Iowa teenager abandoned by her grandparents under Nebraska’s extremely loosely translated (and enforced) safe-haven law is back with the cranky codgers who didn’t want her.

Well that’s gotta be awkward!

Her ‘guardians’ said dumping the girl off on the state was meant to ‘teach her a lesson’.

Ahh, ok — teach her a lesson like, say, going to bed with no dinner? Grounding her from the television or telephone? Having to take on extra chores around the house?

No? Guess those would have been the pansy way of doing things.
::: what the heck did this kid do?!?!? ::: 

Can you imagine what the suppertime is like in that house?
Watching grampy gum his pudding while granny guzzles a fiber drink and screech at you in her crotchety old-woman voice …

“In my day, we didn’t have all these new-fangled gub’mint programs and fancy services! In my day we turned brats like you out into the wild to fend for yourselves … and we liked it!”

Oh yeah … good times.

October 10, 2008 at 10:44 am

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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