Party Girl

Did you know that a new poll shows 64% of Republicans say the Alaskan Hotness is their first choice to run for president in 2012?
::: IT DOES! THEY DO! :::
*** And, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess that 100% of Democrats, Independents, Moon-Worshippers, Pixie-Dust Inhalers and other World Dwellers concur!  ***

Reading the poll results (nearly choking on my coffee) my first thought was President … of the PTA? … of the Adopt A Polar Bear Cub Club?!? … of the Hottie GILFs (population YOU, girl!)?!?!?

But NOOOO! They’re, like, of America and stuff!! And I’m all ‘HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh GOP, how you amuse me with your wacky party jokes!!’ … until it dawns on me that they’re frealz on this one and then I’m all ‘WHOA! They are serious as a Dick Cheney heart attack!’

FAAAAANNNN-TASTIC!!!!

For the record: I’m on board – GO FOR IT, GIRLEEN!!

Run baby, run!
Run like you’ve never run before.
Run until your little Alaskan muklucks fall off.
Run to towns big and small all across this great land of ours and religionate the peoples; ethify the base and spread your rogue maverickness to the masses!!!!

I’ll even donate because what surer guarantee can I have of my boyfriend locking in a second term by Christmas than the promise of an “I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can’t” Cam-PALIN-Palooza!

OOOHH YAH!
YOUBETCHA!!

The pigs are flying!

Test Time!
When both sides completely stop talking about issues, ONLY snipe at each other and go effing nuts over  dumbass, bullshit, crapass common clichés – we have:
A. Less than two months until election day
B. All lost sight of what matters
C. No hope of educating the electorate
D. All of the above
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sexy GILF Sarah Palin used the word ‘lipstick’ in her acceptance speech and suddenly any use of the word is off limits because it is somehow disparaging to her or her womanhood?
::: Ummm, like no n’ stuff? :::

Nutshell moment:
The phrase ‘you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’ll still be a pig’ has been around forfuckingEVER and is usually used to describe products, services, campaigns and so on that suck, stink, are putrid and won’t fly – no matter how fancy their packaging, message or delivery.

But, you know, that’s just how I’ve always heard it used.
I never checked the ‘Alaskan’ etymology.
::: neither did Big Mac :::

His Maverick Beefiness used it in a speech late last year in Des Moines, Iowa to articulate how he felt about his future running mate – HAHA, no, just kidding! He was referring to Hillary Clinton’s health care plan, silly! (graph 13 if you’re playing along at home):
“I think they put some lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” he said of her health-care plan.

Now, acid flashbacks aside – my memory’s pretty good yet I can’t recall legions of outraged Dems accusing him or the GOP of likening Clinton to a pig … but – then again – they called her everything else in the book (and so did folks in her own party, if we’re being fair here) so it may have gone unnoticed …

But it does seem like folks have been puttin’ lipstick on pigs for a long time! Has it always about Her Alaskan Hotness??

…. hmmmm, let’s see! ….

Was it about her on November 2, 2004 when Vice President Dick Cheney used it?
“As we say in Wyoming, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” Cheney quipped in a stump speech, referring to Her Supreme Sexiness – HAHA, kidding again!! He was referring to John Kerry and his assertions he would have been a credible war president.

Ok then … was it about GILFy on August 6, 2004 when an editorial in the New York Daily News used it? Page 46, Column 1:
“As in so many cases, the lesson here is that no matter (how?–ed.) much lipstick you put on a pig, you’ve still got a pig.”
::: Again, like no n’ stuff? :::

Ok, ok. You got me on that one, but what about November 16, 1985 – when the Washington Post used the phrase? Page 1, Column 1?
SAN FRANCISCO, Nov. 15– KNBR, the AM radio station carrying the Giants baseball games, had raised $20,000 toward the construction of a new downtown stadium. The board of supervisors, reluctant to commit to such a project, asked if they couldn’t use the money to renovate Candlestick Park.
“That,” replied KNBR personality Ron Lyons, “Would be like putting lipstick on a pig.”
::: DENIED! :::

Man, this is HARD, y’all!

But it MUST have been about Her Sexy Snowyness with the March 24, 1995 use of the phrase in the New York Times … riiight? Page A22:
Representative Patricia Schroeder of Colorado called them “cosmetic amendments” and said: “It’s like putting lipstick on a pig. When you’re through, you still have a pig.”
::: No?? Again?!? :::

Well then – what about this even older reference from the Times on November 9, 1988?? Pages A1 AND A18:
And on “This Week,” Mr. Boehner said: “There was really no clear agenda for the year, And when there’s no agenda and there’s no real direction, what happens is you can’t–you really can’t have a message. You can put lipstick on a pig all day long, but it’s still a pig.”
::: Ummm, yeah – not so much there either :::

Ok, so none of those were about Hottie Granny but you can’t tell me Time Magazine is innocent!

Time Magazine was sooooo obviously gettin’ their lipstick-gate on when they published the History of the Electric Car – which is so CLEARLY about Her Ultimate Updo I almost can’t control myself:
Sticking a hybrid engine in a jumbo SUV is “putting lipstick on a pig,” says Ronald Hwang, vehicle policy director for the Natural Resources Defense Council, who argues that if GM is green serious, it should give up SUVs and build more efficient cars.

I know — like WOW, right?
Whew! I am so glad THAT is cleared up!

We have thoughts on policy, too …

Looks like Big Mac listened to the advice we doled out back in June – AWESOME!
::: wish he’d take our advice about those Chiclets tho ..  :::

So, when do the nude corn wrestling tickets go on sale?

Some (more) advice for John McCain

I had a raunchy dream an epiphany last night and it revealed the exact thing Big Mac needs to do to if he wants to put his old buns back in charge!
::: wait for it :::

GIRL ON GIRL!!!!

No no, Macster!! You’ll LOVE it – trust me, big guy!

See, Alaskan voters know where it’s at. They  went to the polls and got themselves a real-live GILF in Sarah Palin.
<—–
Bitch is hot, ‘kay? I mean, she totally smokes ol’ Cindy Lou Who with the dead eyes over there – and so my  proposal is to put Palin in the Veep spot and give her the cushy Captain’s chair on the old Straight Talk Express.

The three of you can drive all over this great nation of ours, indoctinating educating folks young and old (like YOU!) about the ways of the good old GOP. And at the end of each campaign stop, the two recruiters interns licking envelopes in the back of the bus can  break out the air pumps and set up the ring.

You look puzzled … What ring, you say?
Duhhhhh!!!

The inflatable mud-wrestling ring, silly!!

Oh, I mean, you know — you can fill it with mud or creamed corn or Jell-O if you want to — the salient point is to be sure the GILF and the c*__ (oh sorry, I forgot – you “didn’t call her that”), err … the GILF AND SIN-DEEEEEE are appropriately attired for the occasion – which, as you know, means:
::: wait for it :::

Hot Campaign Bitches in ‘Kinis!!!!

Sweet, right?
Trust me man — do it!
It will totally transform that Geritol image you’ve got going and people will be BEGGIN’ for that Maverick Beef in no time!

Smooches and good luck, you sexy thang!! 😉