Posts tagged ‘gift’

The Fuggie

Come ON America!

You can do better than this!!

The country that rightly celebrates the majesty of college football, the moxie of manipulations to electoral process and the mastery of military might canNOT be the same country that has so clearly sunk to subterranean sickness by making that wretched remnant we all know as the Snuggie(TM) the number one holiday gift this year.

And yet *sigh* it is.

“The product’s fun, useful nature combined with its affordable price make the Snuggie(TM) blanket the perfect holiday gift,” blah blah’d Anne Flynn – Allstar Products Group’s HBIC of Marketing.

So perfect, in fact, that shoppers are being warned – WARNED I SAY – to rush rush and slap their cash monies down on the fug rug no later than December 11 [THAT’S TOMORROW BITCHES!!!] if you really want to insult Aunt Kay properly on Christmas morning.

Oh but don’t worry fellas, Allstar hasn’t cut YOU out of the gotta have it category when it comes to this grotesque garmant. No sir!

In the wake of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, some new Snuggie(TM) styles and colors are selling out quickly, PR Newswire reports. To keep up with the high consumer demand, Allstar has introduced even more eye-offending prints and colors including:
::: perfect for tree-stand snuggle times :::

Tie Dye!
::: great when the ganga’s too strong :::

And Black and Purple!
::: wonderf … wait – they didn’t offer that shit originally?! ACK! :::

So if you are one of the apparent millions of Americans with no style, taste or creativity this holiday season, get your orders in NOW because nearly all of the current Snuggie(TM) colors and designs will be discontinued after this season.
::: Oh thank God … there IS a Santa Claus! :::


December 10, 2009 at 2:59 am 6 comments

Merry Merry, y’all

I hope everyone got exactly what they wanted.

I’m glad she did!

December 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm

Happy Mother’s Day! Want an abortion?

The bitches at Planned Parenthood have cajones of titanium!

Planned Parenthood advertisementWho else but the world’s biggest provider of pregnancy alternatives would have the balls to make a dash for cash in the name of mom just in time for Sunday’s manufactured maternal lurvefest?!?
Rock on bitches … rock ON!

And the predictable icing on the cake? Watching the pro-lifers get their panties in a BIG OL’  waddy bunch!
Sweet …

The letter — sent by Cecile Richards, president of Planned Parenthood Federation of America (and daughter of former Texas Gov. Ann Richards — an original HBIC if ever there was one) — included parts of an editorial written by her  daughter in an appeal for cash from women’s rights supporters.

“This Mother’s Day, I’m honoring [my mother’s] legacy with a Planned Parenthood Federation of America Mother’s Day gift. Join me. … You can help with a gift to Planned Parenthood Federation of America today in honor of your mother or daughter, and on behalf of all the women,” she wrote.

Shockingly, folks like Janet Morana, Co-Founder of Silent No More Awareness Campaign, took issue with Richards’ missive!
OMG, right?!?
::: I’d link to their site, but I’m getting a DNS error — looks like it was, ummm, aborted … :::

“This is an organization that has turned Mother’s Day into a painful reminder of terminated children for millions and millions of women.  To ask for money on this day so that it can traumatize even more women is the ultimate in insensitivity.”

Note to Morana: The women you speak of voluntarily  went and paid to have this hard-won, legal procedure performed. Some regret it now, others don’t (I feel that way about a Miata I used to drive).
It’s called an option. Options are nifty!!

I mean, my mom had a choice and she opted to have me, which has worked out pretty well for me and all … but what if she had decided not to – for whatever reason … huh? What then?
Would Morana’s minions and the other God-fearin’ Bible-thumpers with the ‘Abortion stops a beating heart’ bumper stickers on their breedermobiles label my sainted mother a murderer or child killer or some bad thing like that?!?

Nah, they’d never stoop to that judgmental type of ill-informed crazy … it’s so un-churchy and all …

Happy Mother’s Day, mom! I’d choose you too 🙂

May 9, 2008 at 3:29 pm 6 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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