Posts tagged ‘FBI’

Scary Communiqué FAIL

Osama bin Laden must have gotten bored picking burrs and gnats out of his beard or something ‘cuz he hooked up the camcorder again – this time calling for Israel’s imminent doom.


Ya … ‘cept nobody cares.
::: We’re just not that into you … :::

ignoreblU.S. officials dismissed the tape [TAPE?!?], saying not only is it NOT a credible threat to my boyfriend’s ascention to the Bejeweled and Golden Throne of Audacious Hopification – but that it also looked like a cheesy fund-raising effort.
::: Someone drank the ‘Terrorist Telethons are gonna be BIG in ’09’ Kool-Aid … ::

White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe said, “It appears this tape [TAPE?!? WTF?!?] demonstrates his isolation and continued attempts to remain relevant at a time when al Qaeda’s ideology, mission, and agenda are being questioned and challenged throughout the world.”
::: BOO YA, BEEYATCH!!! :::

Next week’s three-day drunken orgy of lurve for O’Baby is expected to draw adoring hoards of 1.5 million or more to the Washington – so, of course the FBI is all over anything that even remotely resembles anything remotely threateny or killy sounding.
So what’d they make of bin Laden’s celuloid commandment?

A big hot cuppa NUTHIN’, that’s what!

When asked if the tape [MF! — TAPE?!?] represented a threat to the inauguration, FBI spokesman Richard Kolko said, “We have no specific or credible threat to the inauguration.”
::: DENIED!!! Not even worth a mention of the wicked one? SO COLD!!! :::


Listen – next time just save us all your Midol moment and upload your rants to YouTube like Chrissy ‘leave Britney alooooooone’ Crocker.

That way all the little evildoer wannabes chained to the wall of the cave of wicked villainy and the 4 people in your MySpace fanclub can whack it to your totally rad terrorist gyrations of dooooooom … and leave the rest of us to go about the very pressing business of converting oxygen to carbon dioxide.

‘kay pumkin?



January 15, 2009 at 5:22 pm 7 comments

Daily Caylee

The Orange County Sherrif’s Office said today that FBI investigators are examining hair samples taken from the remains of an as-yet unidentified child found last week.


December 18, 2008 at 3:46 pm

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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