Posts tagged ‘fantastic’

London Calling


It is ON!
I am DOIN’ it!!
You better be ready, Great Britain!!!

Lock up the London Cookiebooze and tie up the hounds, ’cause this¬†little trick is LONDON-bound!!

Gonna take in the Thames, check out Ye Old Cheshire Cheese, make my way through the Tate Modern, eat a bite at the crypt cafe in the Church of St. Martin In The Fields, see St. James Park, the Blue Bridge, the Churchill War Rooms, the Wallace Collection, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Fleet Street, Dickens House, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Tower Bridge, Piccadilly Circus, Foyles, London Bank, Green Friday Market … man, I am gonna do it ALL!

Now, y’all have to promise to behave while I’m gone — m’kay pumpkins??
I might even bring you some spotted dick if you’re really good! ūüėČ

Later, bitches!

Advertisements

November 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm 1 comment

You like me! You really like me!


cookieyeahI’m gettin’ my Sally Field moment on because¬†my hard work undeniable insanity, dedication dementia and deference to the sanctity of the written word unquenchable thirst for snark has FINALLY paid off!
::: YAY PAYOFF!!!¬† … and I mean that in¬†the strictly NON-Rod Blagojevich sense … :::

I just found out¬†that¬†my special brand of crazyass commentary¬†has rubbed off on at least ONE of you sluts, and now¬†I’m all ‘yeah’ and ‘woo hoo’ and stuff!
::: YEAH and WOO HOO ‘n stuf!!! :::

‘Huh?’ you say?
::: … stay with me Jethro … :::

Textimps¬†– the site dedicated to helping¬†bloggers¬†get exposure – has¬†made selected chosen¬†annointed CROWNED me, moi, yours truly, this birdbrained bitch’s blog that occasionally brings the BWAHAHAHA!!!¬†as their ultra-special, first-class, top-shelf¬†¬†Site of the Week.

SITE OF THE WEEK, PEOPLE!!!!!

This.
is.

HUGE!

I mean, there’s no plaque or trophy or certificate or anything [is there???] just the sweet sweet satisfaction of knowing that my shit isn’t just for hookers hopped up on pills,¬†losers under prison lockdown or wacked-out nutjobs kickin’ it old-school style¬†in a psych ward padded cell.

txtxtimpsNO! I’m, like,¬†a gozillion plus infinity¬†times more specialer than that!!

Am so!
I have infected corrupted perverted disturbed TOUCHED at least one normal, productive member of society!!!!
::: My teachers and guidance counselors and parole officer and Judge Schneider and the guy at the deli and, well, you were all wrong!!! I AM SOMEBODY!!!!!! :::

The rest of you hussies should just submit now. Frealz.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!

… isn’t this how pandemics start? …

January 6, 2009 at 4:46 pm 18 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: