Posts tagged ‘famous’

R.I.P Farrah


Just … damn

SOURCE

June 25, 2009 at 5:24 pm

R.I.P Ed McMahon


“It’s going to be a traumatic time for everyone, there’s no doubt about that.”
— Ed McMahon

June 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm

RIP John Updike



SOURCE

January 27, 2009 at 8:09 pm 4 comments

Hair apparent …


Rihanna may want to rethink that ‘do because, according to Showbiz Spy, she was mistaken for Prince on a recent trip to London.
::: she’s a man, baby! :::

“Some fans screamed out, ‘Prince!’ when they saw her, SBS reports. “But when they got close enough to ask for an autograph, they realized he was a she.”

AWKWARD!

October 3, 2008 at 2:13 pm

You can put lipstick on a pig, but …



Sunday, September 7, 2008 = Sequined semi-hotness


Tuesday, September 16, 2008 = cutoffs ‘n’ wifebeater-y notness

::: that would be a diet frapp, right? … on account o’ that 1200 calorie a day diet and all … :::

September 17, 2008 at 10:56 am 1 comment

Can’t anyone retire and mean it anymore?


Reports are leaking out that Lance Armstrong will be coming out of retirement to compete in some nearly dead road races (Tour de Georgia?!?) and then, potentially, pedal his way to an unheard of eighth Tour de France victory.

Oh god no. Please no. Seriously – no.

Lance and his team of managers, handlers, press agents and drug-test-takers probably all sat back and watched with jealous googly eyes as Fishsticks Phelps raked in fat endorsement cash after snagging eight golds at the Beijing Olympics.

I bet those bitches conference called each other after every medal ceremony to whine about how cycling seems so old and busted next to swimming’s new hotness and how only cancer boy can rescue the sport for the benefit of all of humanity (or some stupid shit like that).

But before they get their Nike pitch on, Lance & Co. should take note.

No one (NO ONE) has been standing in line to see Mark Spitz and his wrinkles plop into the pool for a long, long time. Cycling fans aren’t any different. They’re ready for the next big thing. They don’t care who it is as long as it’s the next big thing — not the last big thing.

But I bet ol’ fancy pants Lance doesn’t see things quite that way. He probably sleeps in a different yellow jersey each night, wakes up each morning and spit shines his trophies while drinking coffee from a mug that reads ‘Cycle God’ and journaling the various rates at which his lungs make the O2 to CO2 conversion before speed dialing his publicist every hour on the hour to get the lastest list of celebrities he’s more famous than in each of the world’s major time zones.

His ego is probably just that sad. And it’s too bad because we actually like guys like that — until it’s time to go. But guys like that never know when it’s time to go. They always stay too long at the party and end up looking like the bad blind date you just couldn’t get rid of at the end of the day.

Lance – it’s time to go. Has been since that day in 2005 when you said you were going.
You retired and we foolishly trusted you to mean it.

We want you to mean it. We need you to mean it.
Please — go away already!

Like Sheryl Crow, Kate Hudson, Ashley Olsen, Tory Burch, your ex-wife, Team Astana, viable sperm counts and good looks — we are sooo over you.
::: If only you could get over yourself … :::

Please – take your testicle and go gently into that good retirement night … for all our sakes!

September 9, 2008 at 4:39 pm 12 comments

Kid Rock serves up the stupid


Kid Rock, the Waffle House scattered ‘n smothered streetfighting sensation, recently got the fine folks at County Music Television 50 kinds of caught up on his personal political philosophy – and because I know you won’t be able to sleep until you know just where the ol’ poser wannabe greasy redneck hick stands on politics – here you go:

“I truly believe that people like myself, who are in a position of entertainers in the limelight, should keep their mouth shut on politics,” he said.
” … at the end of the day, I’m good at writing songs and singing. What I’m not educated in is the field of political science. And so for me to be sharing my views and influencing people of who I think they should be voting for … I think would be very irresponsible on my part.”

Well — like wow and stuff!
If I overlook the wildly fantastical but equally hilarious ‘good singer and songwriter’ delusion-filled comment (hahahahaha!!!), the Kidster is sorta kinda makin’ some sense there!

I was seriously finding myself kind of liking the Kid a teensy smidge after reading that – but then he had to keep talking.
::: just what you’d expect from someone who willingly did time as Pam Anderson’s human crotchstain :::

“I think celebrity endorsements hurt politicians. Because as soon as somebody comes out for a politician, especially in Hollywood, when they all go, “I’m voting for this guy!” — I go, “That’s not who I’m voting for!” …  As soon as Oprah Winfrey pops up and goes “Ha-la-la-la-la,” I’m like, “I love Barack Obama. I hate Oprah Winfrey.”

Eeeerrrckkkkkk!
Dipshit apparently doesn’t know THE cardinal rule of celebrity: NEVER disparage Her Supreme Fabulosity!

Like, just don’t ever do it. Like – not EVER, okayyyyy????!!!????

Geezus man! Do you not know that the keys to the kingdom of any future success you might  have otherwise enjoyed are held tightly in the grip of Her Supreme Fabulosity?

She is the HBIC and she can fucking END your ass if she so much as brushes a lock of hair to the right side with the tip of her left index finger!
::: HSF industry code for career snuffout, just fyi … :::

— CNN and Time magazine BOTH acknowledge she is the single most powerful woman in the whole of the known universe.
— Vanity Fair cautions that Her Supreme Fabulosity “has more influence on the culture than any university president, politician, or religious leader, except perhaps the Pope.”
::: and they only said that bit about the Pope because rumor has it the so-called ‘wrath of God’ may actually be worse than hers – BUT DON’T YOU BELIEVE IT!!! :::
— Economic advisors and industry leaders actually work under the belief that Her Supreme Fabulosity can – and will – completely upEND financial markets with a single comment!

If she so much as sneezes  in the general direction of a picture of you – your album goes triple platinum!
::: yes, Her Supreme Fabulosity is soooo powerful that she can make even your irrelevant, out-of-date, sampled to hell crapass noise get play :::

RIP, Kid … RIP

 

September 4, 2008 at 6:33 pm 1 comment

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