Posts tagged ‘evil’

Change SHMANGE – RAAAAA!!!!!!!

The Evil Overlord hath spoken!


dcheney“Most Republicans have a pretty good idea of values …”

HAHAHAHA ok ok ok, nevermind!
I didn’t know he was makin’ funnies!

“[They] aren’t eager to have someone come along and say, ‘Well, the only way you can win is if you start to act more like a Democrat.’ ”
::: troof hurts! :::

During an interview with some radio yahoo from North Dakota, former Veep and renown world destroyer Dick Cheney explained his theory as to why the Republican party is basically eating itself from the inside out like the grotesque form of necrotizing political fasciitis it is.

“This is about fundamental beliefs and values and ideas … what the role of dinodickgovernment should be in our society, and our commitment to the Constitution and constitutional principles.”
::: Oh lawd — is he saying they still don’t know?!? Well, the first step IS admitting you have a problem … :::

“You know, when you add all those things up, the idea that we ought to moderate basically means we ought to fundamentally change our philosophy. I for one am not prepared to do that, and I think most of us aren’t.”

Spoken like a true dinosaur …



May 8, 2009 at 2:47 pm 4 comments

Darned SHOOTIN’!

And the award for Most Retarded Display of Selfish Corporate Fuckery goes to …

McDonald’s! – for their patent refusal of Workman’s Compensation benefits to an employee who was shot [at the MCDonald’s where he worked] while trying to defend a woman who was being beaten [at the MCDonald’s where he worked].
::: Way to go, corporate fuckers!! :::

Nigel Haskett’s heroics earned him three abdominal surgeries and a permanent reminder of the universal law that no good deed goes unpunished in the form of a partial bullet — forever lodged — in his back.
::: Who says you can’t take it with you?!? :::

Haskett’s unselfish actions also garnered the highest admiration and respect from his employer.

Noooo — just kidding!

McDonald’s really couldn’t have said ‘Fuck Off Loser Scum!’ more quickly or more clearly.

Facing more than $300,000 in medical bills from the shooting [at the MCDonald’s where he worked], Haskett filed a claim with the state Workers Compensation Commission — to which McDonald’s replied, well,  ‘Fuck Off Loser Scum!’
::: See! :::

In a letter to the Commission, McDonald’s insurer wrote: “we have denied this claim in its entirety as it is our opinion that Mr. Haskett’s injuries did not arise out of or within the course and scope of his employment.”
::: I’ll bet his timecard begs to differ! :::

The McLawyers say McEmployees are given strict McInstruction to ‘do nothing’ that would put themselves or anyone else in danger during the course of their McWorkday.

Oooook — and, umm, the McCustomers? Any advice on their safety, Mickey D?!?

Ohhhh riiiight – ‘Fuck Off Loser Scum!’ – GOTCHA!

In a clear deviation from Chapter 6, paragraph 13 of McDonald’s We Didn’t See Nuthin’ Customer Beatdown policy, Haskett’s boss Ray Nosler called him a hero for his actions last August and contributed to a fund setup for his employee.

“We are all grateful to Nigel and that’s why it is so unfortunate that he’s having a difficult time with the insurance claim,” Nosler says.  “Because the insurance claim is still pending, I’m not able to say more about it, but I hope his claim will come to a quick resolution and the right thing will be done for my employee.”
::: awwww – i haz cry :::

Video of the incident had been available on YouTube, but now there is a disclaimer that reads: This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by McDonald’s Corporation.

They don’t want to own up to any responsibility for what happens in their restaurants but they’ll sure as shit own the evidence!
::: I’m not lovin’ it :::

Eh, McFuckem — you can watch it here.


So what do you think?
Should the Evil Clown Empire cough up some cash or should we just all understand we’re taking our lives in our hands each time we frequent the corporate-sanctioned anything goes, lawless wasteland that is your neighborhood McDonald’s?


February 23, 2009 at 11:34 am 3 comments

Pass that doobie, Dick!

I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!


Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …


January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

Oh there’s a special place, indeed!


1.) The following content is replete with expletives for which I will not apologize as they are 100% wholly appropriate and I’m in no mood for argument — so just deal with the knowledge going in or move on right now.
2.) Oh, and also, there is a photo below that’s graphic, so if you’re squeamish, see the end of #1.


This pisses me off.

<—- This fat motherfuck of a fucking FUCK royally pisses me off!!

That gross muddascunt is 68-year-old Robert M. Rozenti of Port St. Lucie, Florida — who was just arrested and charged with neglect of an elderly person after his 90-year-old mother was found emaciated, left in urine-soaked clothes and wearing shoes that had GROWN INTO HER FEET!!!


I think if you look up scumsuckingdouchebaglazygreedyidiotfatass in the dictionary — it has his picture right there …
… and if it doesn’t, it should!

Mr. Ihopehissorryassrotsinhell told police that, not only was he the sole provider for his mother, but he was also appointed as her power of attorney back in 2006.
::: I wonder if that was around the same time he stopped giving a good goddamn about her? :::

Police were called in after she fell in the home she shared with Mr. Worstsoninthehistoryoftheknownuniverse and had to be taken to the hospital, where paramedics informed them of her condition. 

And then, of course, they saw her feet.

The police report says “her shoes were soiled with what appeared to be fecal matter … that part of her slippers were embedded in her skin and that her toenails had taken the shape of her shoes.”

When questioned by police, Mr. Ideserveadailyassrapingwithbrokenglass said he didn’t have a good relationship with his mother as he was her “illegitimate son.” He also said he was aware that his mother needs 24-hour care, but admitted he does not provide that for her.
::: ummm, yah — I think that’s PAINFULLY obvious, you goddamned fucking FUCKTARD! :::

You know — sometimes prison just isn’t enough …

SOURCE (with more photos for the not-so-faint-of-heart)

January 5, 2009 at 7:55 pm 6 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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