Posts tagged ‘entertainer’

I WANT ONE!!!


I am so jealous!

Chloë Sevigny has what can only be described as THE perfect accessory for summer – her very own drag queen!

I AM SO JEALOUS!!!

I mean, it’s not just that I deserve my own drag queen — WHICH I TOTALLY DO – it’s also that I have EARNED that bitch, goddamnit!!

Is a drag queen not a living caricature?
::: Me :::

Does a drag queen not live to entertain??
::: ME :::

Are drag queens not all hairspray, fabulosity and sequiny-superspecialness???
::: MEEEEEE!!! :::

  • I know the difference between a Bottom and a Top!
  • I can rock that look better than La Palma himherself!!
  • And my appreciation for the arts is indefatigably undeniable!!!
  • The obvious obviosity of me being deserving of of my own drag queen cannot be more … well … OBVIOUS!

    Come on Donna Summersault or Eineeta Lay — I’m ready!!!

    May 23, 2010 at 7:49 pm 4 comments

    Number Three???


    UPDATE:

    DAYUM!

    MJ dead at 50

    Earlier:
    jackoTMZ is reporting that Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance to a hospital in Los Angeles.
    The LA Times reports he was not breathing when paramedics arrived.

    Both are reporting he suffered a cardiac arrest, that paramedics administered CPR in the ambulance and that his mom is on her way.

    SOURCE
    SOURCE
    SOURCE

    June 25, 2009 at 9:14 pm 3 comments

    This is your brain on Beyoncé


    Submitted without comment … 
    ::: tawk ahhmungst yas-elves … ::: 

    November 22, 2008 at 12:18 am 3 comments

    Yup, that’s one way to do it!


    So there’s this song out there called ‘Bust Your Windows’ by a hot piece named Jazmine Sullivan and it’s all about a former boyfriend and the playful way she clued him in that she wasn’t exactly down with his cheatin’ horndoggery (mmmmyeah, ok, so the title does kind of give it away).

    “I bust the windows out your car
    After I saw you laying next to her
    I didn’t wanna but I took my turn
    I’m glad I did it ’cause you had to learn”

    Lack of preposition notwithstanding, the song is kind of catchy in an angry-girl-anthem kind of way, which means I am all about it  — but it’s missing the finality one expects from a brutal breakup song.
    ::: I cut yer dick of with mah ax … see? now that’s catchy!! :::

    But Jazzy’s from Philly and I guess that’s just how they do it up there and all what with bustin’ out windows and scrawling initials on the hood with a crowbar and suchlike and that’s all cool and everything … I  just wasn’t raised that way.

    I was brought up where this kind of business gets handled … differently.

    Just ask Cropwell’s own Josh Sempley.
    ::: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Suckit Dickweed! That gag order is all KINDS of over!!! :::

    For a while there it was all sexy sleepovers and hot steaminess between Josh and me …

    until the skank he was bangin’ behind my back thought she’d try and school me on his scammin’ ways many Christmas moons ago.

    holidayroachBeing the holiday season and all, I decided the proper thing to do would be to give them both big, BIG presents!!
    ::: I’m a giver like that. It’s just how I roll :::

    First I trotted on down to Livvy’s Bait & Tackle just off Highway 280.
    Livvy’s was this fun little place my dad would take me when I was little to get top-of-the-line spinners, streamers and shad wraps.
    Folks forced to buy their bait on a budget could also get minnows, maggots and, my personal favorite, roaches!

    A small ten dollar investment got me a half-pound of the creepy-crawlies — which turned out to be quite a powerful deterrent to late-night prank skank calls after she discovered the little demons inside the car she ** oopsie ** forgot to lock.
    ::: ho’, Ho’, HO’!! :::

    “Oooh Yeah I did it
    You should know it
    I ain’t sorry
    You deserved it”

    Josh’s gift was more personal.

    roadsterD-bag’s pride and joy — his raison d’être, if you will — was a tasty and totally cherry 1927 T-Bucket Roadster he built by hand from a kit.
    That sweet thing was full of sweat-equity and powered by love so, of course, I gave it the royal treatment!
    A Super-Ultimate-PRIMO bath using only the finest Brillo® and acetone mixture my never-be-hustled-again heart could manage.

    You broke my heart
    So I broke ya car
    You caused me pain
    So I did the same”

    And did you know dishwashing soap isn’t supposed to be poured into the gas tank?!?
    ::: hehe – MY BAD!! … Live and learn, right?!? :::

    Ooohhhhhh … good times, Good TIMES!

    So, just so you know Jazzy baby — if your record label is lookin’ for a funky follow-up? Call me!

    — and what about YOU?

    ooooo tell … TELL!!

    November 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm 2 comments

    Britney looks diff-ernt, y’all!


    After checking out the artwork for her new album, it’s clear that someone ‘s Photoshop THIIIIISSSSS MUCH!
    ::: it really IS better than Botox! ::: 

    britney-spears-circus-2thumb
    britney-spears-is-ugly

    November 14, 2008 at 11:29 am 2 comments

    Hope it wasn’t the bakky!


    Let’s all lift poor little two-year-old family-planning victim Jayden James Spears Federline high UP in prayer today, y’all!

    Cheetohead’s first child was admitted to the Southwest Mississippi Regional Medical Center yesterday after having “a reaction to something he ingested”.

    Any guesses what it could possibly have been???

    PHOTO

    November 10, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    You see it


    Nicolas Cage and his son Weston Coppola Cage leaving Madeo restaurant in Los Angeles over the weekend.
    Weston’s Kayako Halloween costume is, err, dead on, no?
    Wait. What? That’s not a costume?!?

    SOURCE

    October 27, 2008 at 11:46 am

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