Posts tagged ‘dui’

Dumb Bitch of the Day


Old and Busted: Texting while driving
New Hotness: Shaving while driving

In addition to wearing the DBOTD crown today,
Megan Mariah Barnes ————————->
just may have to be presented with the keys to the Kingdom of Dumb Bitchery for committing what may be the most outward act of unbelievable idiocy I’ve seen in a loooong time since last week.

Bitch caused a crash while she was clippin’ the cooch driving along Cudjoe Key, ‘kay!

Ohh HO yeah … and in case you wondered, that there friends is an automatic nomination to the Dumb Bitch Hall of Fame!!

Popo types say the 37-year-old was on her way to see her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be properly groomed for the visit so, along the way, she decided to cut her short ‘n curlies … but apparently forgot all about the skunk-trail she’s sportin’ up top!?!

Full. Force. FAIL!!!

Oh, but that’s just the start of her fuckery … it gets better!
Seated next to the Megster was her ex-husband, who took the wheel while she focused on her follicles.
::: wonder how the bf feels about that … :::

… and better!!
Mindless Megan was convicted of DUI and driving without a license the day before the coochie crash!

Ohhhhh my side hurts … sometimes this shit just writes itself …
SOURCE

March 10, 2010 at 11:02 am 10 comments

Something’s wrong with Sammy Jo


Ava Locklear’s parents have probs.

Mere months after seeking help via rehab for anxiety and depression, Heather Locklear is back on the batty bus.
Someone who said they spotted her driving erratically called the popo who then pulled her over, arrested and booked her on suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription drugs.
::: drugs are bad, mmmkay? :::

I’m sure it’s all just a big misunderstanding. Sammy Jo would never do anything like that!

I bet Heather found a bee in her changepurse and it scared her and so she accidentally threw her car in gear while trying to shoo the bee out the window and when that failed she tried to flee the bee by any means necessareeeee.
::: wheeeee!!! :::

Yup, I bet that’s what it was. At least I hope that’s what it was – for the sake of the child and all.

How much more little Ava can take?

First, her dad (and Heather’s cheatin’ ex), Richie Sambora was arrested on a DUI charge back in March. Ever the family guy — Richie was ridin’ dirty with little Ava pullin’ shotgun.
::: quality family time – Hollywood style :::

Second, her mom checks in to some nuthut in an effort to get her mind right.
::: how’s that workin’ out? :::

Third, her mom decides to get her NASCAR on in a Santa Monica parking lot for all the paparazzi world to see.
::: oh, ok, not workin’ out so good then … :::

Oh well, on a positive note – word is no kids were harmed in the making of Heather’s recent legal run-in.
::: In Hollywood, that makes her mother of the year  :::

Oooo ooo -and also, I heard the downtown Baskin Robbins is giving away pints of Baseball Nut.
mmmmm – ice cream!

So … you know, I think someone who’s initials aren’t Heather Locklear or Richie Sambora should drive wee Ava right down to get some free chills because the kid’s gotta be pretty embarassed by her family today and – well, who isn’t?!? – but the point is you just can’t feel bad when you’re eating ice cream.

Yeeeaaaahhhh …

September 29, 2008 at 1:49 pm 1 comment



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