Posts tagged ‘drink’

London Calling


It is ON!
I am DOIN’ it!!
You better be ready, Great Britain!!!

Lock up the London Cookiebooze and tie up the hounds, ’cause this¬†little trick is LONDON-bound!!

Gonna take in the Thames, check out Ye Old Cheshire Cheese, make my way through the Tate Modern, eat a bite at the crypt cafe in the Church of St. Martin In The Fields, see St. James Park, the Blue Bridge, the Churchill War Rooms, the Wallace Collection, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, Fleet Street, Dickens House, Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, Tower Bridge, Piccadilly Circus, Foyles, London Bank, Green Friday Market … man, I am gonna do it ALL!

Now, y’all have to promise to behave while I’m gone — m’kay pumpkins??
I might even bring you some spotted dick if you’re really good! ūüėČ

Later, bitches!

November 27, 2012 at 4:28 pm 1 comment

SOLIDARITY!


There is serious shit going down in Denmark, people!

The decisionizers at the Carlsberg brewery went all ‘beer only during lunchbreaks, slackers!’ and the warehouse staff victims went all ‘fuck that noise, fuckers’ and walked the fuck OUT!

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!

A spokesbloke for the world’s fourth-largest brewery said “We think times have changed and we need an alcohol policy that is accepted by society – 93% of Danish companies have an alcohol policy.”

Hey there LEMMING! Whatever happened to being bold? Going against the grain?? Doing it your own way and shit???
I mean, what’s next? You tyrants gonna limit breaktime, too? What about the amount of TP used in the WC?!

It’s a slippery slope!
Where does the madness end?????

“There has been free beer, water and soft drinks everywhere. [This week] beers were removed from all refrigerators. The only place you can get a beer in future is in the canteen, at lunch.”

OPPRESSION!!!

Carlsberg drivers claim they have the right to have up to three beers per day outside lunch hours and warehouse workers say they share that entitlement – a claim the brewer shockingly disputes.

Where oh where is Lech Walesa when you need him?!

Soldier on plebians … soldier on …

SOURCE

April 9, 2010 at 10:06 am 1 comment

WWBQQD?


::: Sorry greeneyedgirl – it had to be done! :::

Next month, Burger King is opening a new Whopper Bar in South Beach that will sell beer and burgers.

Complicated Order!
SA-CURRITY!!!

Just kidding — that bitch would be in heaven!!

* Beatbox *
It’s the sickest kind of day, you gonna git it all your way
A Double Whopper and some fries, with a cold one on the side …
* Beatbox *

Burger Kings in Germany and Whopper Bars in Singapore and Venezuela already sell suds, but this will be the first BK B&B in the US to get they drank on.

* Beatbox *
I’ll give it to you in a cup, and I’ll fill that muthah up
But forget about dessert, unless you lookin’ to get hurt …
*
Beatbox *

More Whopper Bars could be coming to New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, says Chuck Fallon, president of Miami-based Burger King North America.

HEEYYYY!!

SOURCE

January 25, 2010 at 11:51 am 6 comments

Touched by an angel


Feet up — flip-flops barely hangin’ on — gettin’ my Mojito on and takin’ in the sunset along the Intracoastal at The Old House this weekend, I was all, ‘Life just doesn’t get any better than this!’

But then it did.
Because she walked in.

A glistening summer ray of delicate womanity so exceptional mere mortals dare not rest eyes too long for they would certainly go blind from the unfathomable ferociousness of her infinite beauty.

Behold the sun-damaged Herbal Essence Chardonnay Shimmery locks! The desiccated body bark!! The overtipped French Maniclaw as it guides an unsuspecting bottle of Bud¬†[aka Heaven’s Nectar]¬†toward the gaping maw of celestial refinement!!!

You just can’t fake that kind of intrinsic sophistication and class!!

Her grace so overwhelmed me that I wanted to climb atop the seawall guardrail and command to the masses:
“Bow down in the presence of so rare a gem, commoners!! Bow DOWN!”

But I dared not for fear that the good Lord himself would intervene and end my shit if I dared distrurb the tasetful pursuits of his most elegant angel.

Instead, I paid sloshy, yet silent homage to the careworn cougar, wished her well on her midday pub crawl and returned to the humdrum, ordinary existence of the non-chosen —¬†wholly satisfied with my place in life now that I’d been blessed to spend even the most nano of seconds in the presence of such flawless femininity.

Glide on¬†golden goddess… glide on …

nottie

July 27, 2009 at 3:40 pm 8 comments

Happy National Tequila Day, Bitches!!



Roll out the Red Carpet to celebrate!

What goes in it:
11/2 oz Patrón Silver Tequila
1/2 ounce Patrón Citrónge Orange Liqueur
fresh raspberry juice
dash organic cranberry juice
fresh lime juice
gold sugar rim
orange wedge dipped in gold sugar for garnish

How to make it:
Wet the rim of a cocktail glass using an orange or lime wedge.
Rim the wet with gold sugar, shake off excess sugar and set aside
Pour the liquid ingredients into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.
Shake well.
Strain into the prepared cocktail glass.
Garnish with an orange wedge dipped in gold sugar.

TGIF!!!

July 24, 2009 at 10:40 am 2 comments

I’ll have the soup!


4517

SOURCE

July 16, 2009 at 8:31 am

War on welfare?


Pennsylvania lawmakers are considering a bill that would stick a big ol’ brick wall of “NEGATORY WINOS!” between¬†welfare recipients and their state-funded boozy times.

This is so wrong!

In this The Great Depression 2.0 ‚ĄĘ – the ONE thing the hopeless and downtrodden can cling to … the ONE thing they truly gotta have – is their hooch!!!

Seriously! 
A tummy full of Tequila or Tangueray smoothes the harsh edges of a chilly winter’s night alfresco like nobody’s business!

But just¬†try telling that to State Rep. Dave Reed, R[eally MEAN]-Indiana, and you’ll get a steaming cuppa ‘screw you, deadbeat’!

reedReed submitted his ‘No Booze for¬† Beggars’ bill after discovering it was actually, like, legal and shit for the poors to buy their¬†Boone’s using taxpayer-backed benefit cards, which look and can be used much like a common credit card.

“I had no idea at the time that such a loophole existed,” he shouted to the little people from high atop his ivory tower.
::: Get ready for a MAJOR huffy when he finds out what they do at the needle exchange!! :::

Reed’s bitter pill of a bill would bar Pennsylvania’s 619 state liquor stores and private beer distributors from accepting the Department of Public Welfare’s electronic benefit cards from the approximately 2 million Keystone Staters¬†who get cash assistance, food stamps or medical aid of some kind.

And I know all of the assholes out there hatin’ on the homeless and dusgusted by the destitute are ALL FOR this shit!

‘Cuz it sounds good; it feels right¬†– right?

Yeah … too bad it won’t work.

Oh shuddit!
It won’t.

Because —¬†aside from the fact that Scaggy Maggie will flat out cut a bitch for blockin’ her Bud —¬†Reed forgot that little bit about the bennie badges behaving like credit cards.

So who’s to stop the vagabond horde from gettin’ their ATM on?
That’s riiiight hobo haters …¬†a steaming cuppa ‘No one’ – that’s who!

Ahhhh government!
Oh well — better luck with the druggies, Dave!

SOURCE

May 11, 2009 at 4:17 pm

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