Posts tagged ‘dining’


::: Sorry greeneyedgirl – it had to be done! :::

Next month, Burger King is opening a new Whopper Bar in South Beach that will sell beer and burgers.

Complicated Order!

Just kidding — that bitch would be in heaven!!

* Beatbox *
It’s the sickest kind of day, you gonna git it all your way
A Double Whopper and some fries, with a cold one on the side …
* Beatbox *

Burger Kings in Germany and Whopper Bars in Singapore and Venezuela already sell suds, but this will be the first BK B&B in the US to get they drank on.

* Beatbox *
I’ll give it to you in a cup, and I’ll fill that muthah up
But forget about dessert, unless you lookin’ to get hurt …
Beatbox *

More Whopper Bars could be coming to New York, Los Angeles and Las Vegas, says Chuck Fallon, president of Miami-based Burger King North America.



January 25, 2010 at 11:51 am 6 comments

Feedin’ time!


Bein’ as we’ez so broke-ass broke an all, I’s oh’veer thinkin’ I’s gonna be shit outta luck an luv this Valentahnz Day — but Wahffel Haus dun saved it fer me!
::: Thank Yew Wahffel Haus!!! :::

They’s off’rin up a real nice candelaht dinner, wut wi’ wyte tablecloth an everthang!
::: ahhh romanse! :::

I s’poze they did it lass year er sumthin like ‘at an fohk’s took to it like salt on a ‘mayter cuz they’s doin’ it a-gin

… an yew no wut?
I am all a-bout it!!!!

Stan bak! Cuz I’m fixin’ to git twiiny kinds o’ Skatter’d, Smuther’d, Kuhver’d, Chunk’d, Top’d an Dahs’d!!


February 12, 2009 at 6:30 pm 7 comments

You say ‘plum tomato’ …

TomatoesI say Olivette!

Red, juicy tomatoes are back, biatches!

The fruit everyone labels a veggie is back from the brink of Salmonella Siberia – at least for some fast-food retailers (for whom quality is, like, fur realz super-duper crucial, man).

McDonald’s, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, Wendy’s — are all bringin’ back the ‘mater for use in the culinary questionables they serve up daily.

Which got me thinking …
Fast food is nasty. Why not just lick the bottom of your shoe and be done with it. No, but really …
Taco Bell serves, umm, actual food?!?
(I always thought it was some sort of  a hangover remedy.)



June 19, 2008 at 10:11 am 1 comment

A new take on the ‘Muffin Top’

Frost your own cupcakes at Duffy\'s

Someone at Duffy’s corporate really thought this was a good idea: Do It Yourself Dessert.

Plop three dry cupcakes on a plate and ‘let’ the customer pay to frost them – and check the price! Those are some expensive unfinished cupcakes.

When I asked our server how popular the nakey cakes were – she said she has never taken an order for them since the promotion came out.

It’s kind of comforting to know we really aren’t  that lazy … OR that stupid.
Yay consumers!

June 9, 2008 at 12:43 pm 5 comments

Garbage … it’s what’s for dinner

Garbage Dumpster - It's What's For DinnerOh my god – this is HUGE!
I have found the answer to EVERYTHING — and the best part? It’s all around me and it’s all FREE!!!!!
Woo hoo!!

I can live a virtually cost-free life by putting the F-word into practice.

See, there’s this group of cheap hippie freaks people who call themselves Freegans and they’ve figured out how to live the ‘One man’s trash is another man’s treasure’ principle on a daily basis.
*Freegie-Beegies are people who rummage through the stink, the slime, the stench and salmonella of trash bins everywhere searching for food, household items, paper products, clothes and just about any old nastay-ass discard you can imagine — and they live off their haul.

It’s not Dumpster diving — it’s Waste Reclamation and, with my homeowner’s insurance skyrocketing, food prices through the roof and gas prices almost forcing me to choose between my drinking problem and getting around town — I have decided to leverage a little Freeganism for my freegin’ good!

But am I ready? Do I have what it takes to be truly Freeganiving?
I think I am … I think I do!

Every Thursday, my local Publix takes the stale, slightly moldy bread and all the lingering limp vegetables from their shelves and cycles them out to the galvanized-steel ‘reclamation’ bins behind the store … talk about your five-finger discount!

Cafeteria employees over at Midlands Elementary take each day’s uneaten remains and repurpose them to a set of plastic drums sitting in a lonely, unshaded corner of the parking lot. What I once thought of as maggot magnets I now see as full-on hot lunch buffet!!

I have a neighbor who works about four blocks from my office … a neighbor who doesn’t lock his car at night (well that’s what I HEARD !). If I can get my freeloadin’ ass up a sneaky ten minutes earlier, I can stow away in his trunk and silently slug my way to the office each day.

Oh, I know it won’t be all bitter broccoli and second-hand saliva. Foraging isn’t all fun and games!
And if it doesn’t pan[handle] out, I may be forced to practice some Voluntary Joblessness to offset the impact of my lack of transportation, which I further understand may lead to an unavoidable period of Rent-Free Habitation in one of the abandoned foreclosures in my immediate area … but what is life if not sacrifice?
*And hey, if I get arrested — that’s even MORE free food and accommodations comin’ my way! It’s win-win!!

Who wants to help me prove that the best things in life are free… and, well yeah, fungal??

June 2, 2008 at 7:04 pm 6 comments

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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