Posts tagged ‘dictionary’

I see!


Well slap my ass and call me twinkie – I may not need the Tarot and ball, after all!! 

I predicted the Alaskan Hotness would be offered a snuggly (if short-lived) spot near the captain’s chair on the ol’ Straight Talk Express …

I also knew we’d all be standing in bread lines soon enough, so why pay Jenny Craig when food prices are shooting up so fast we’re all gonna starve on the government’s time  first …

And my divination of a web-only category for the Pulitzers???
Umm hmm, yuppers — that’s happening as well (and two years early, too!).

This is a huge slice of all-seeing AWESOMENESS!

I’ve got mad cerebral supersensory skillz, yo!
Miss Cleo better watch out, cuz I, like, know shit ‘n stuff!

OMFG – I KNOW SHIT, PEOPLE!!!!
::: Fall-back career – WHEEEEEEEE!!!! ! :::

I bet we are totally gonna get that call from Miriam-Webster any minute now!!!

… and those Lotto numbers … must. concentrate. HARDER! … 

December 9, 2008 at 11:43 am 4 comments

Dumb in Dallas


Intersection of Stupid and DumbassThe PC Police are at it again … this time in Dallas County, Texas where a snoozer of a meeting about traffic tickets turned all kinds of nasty as quick as 1-2-3 over the use of one of the world’s most common astronomy terms.

1. Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections office “has become a black hole” because paperwork routinely gets lost there.

2. That caused Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, to shout “Excuse me!” before correcting his pigment-deficient colleague, saying the office has become a “white hole.” 

3. And that caused Judge Thomas Jones, also black, to demand an apology from whitey Mayfield for his racially insensitive comment.

Seriously people — this again?!?
I feel a crying jag coming on.

For the record …
Black Hole:
  • An area of space-time with a gravitational field so intense that its escape velocity is equal to or exceeds the speed of light.
  • A great void; an abyss: The government created a bureaucratic black hole that swallows up individual initiative.
    Source: American Heritage Dictionary

    White Hole:
  • The reversal of a black hole.
  • A theoretical celestial object that ejects matter.
    Source: Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
  •  

    I’ll grant you, so far the 2008 Verbal Retardation Award has to go to the Brits who wanted to ban ‘brainstorming’ in favor of ‘thought showering’  — but these Dallas County Commissioners have definitely earned themselves a most dishonorable mention in the ’20 Kinds of Asshatednessly Overboard Responses’ subcategory.

    What other perfectly legit words and phrases will we next be asked to quit?
    Hmmmmmmm …..

  • Will we never have another black out?
    ::: Los Angelinos rejoice — right? :::
  • Do they stop searching for the black box after plane crashes?
  • Will companies have to stop reporting that they’re in the black?
    ::: Not many are actually doing that right now anyway :::
  • Should Sikorsky rename the Black Hawk helicopter — and (ACK!) what about Ridley Scott’s movie of the same name — guess that puppy’s got to be redone.
  • What’s to become of the folks currently living in Black Lick, Pennsylvania?
    ::: where o’ where will Aunt Midge’s mail go?!?!?! :::
  • Will Publix stop carrying black cherry soda?
  • Do I no longer have to fear black cats?
  • Can anarchists no longer fly their black flag?
  • Does Germany need to rename the Black Forest?
  • Will families no longer have black sheep?
    ::: don’t get excited Cleetus – you’ll always have that honor :::

  • God help the environmentalists once the aliens go PC …

    July 10, 2008 at 4:18 pm 6 comments



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