Posts tagged ‘Dick Cheney’

Just asking …


What in the GD hell happened to the Obama I voted for?

“A federal judge yesterday sharply questioned an assertion by the Obama administration that former Vice President Richard B. Cheney’s statements to a special prosecutor about the Valerie Plame case must be kept secret, partly so they do not become fodder for Cheney’s political enemies or late-night commentary on The Daily Show,” R. Jeffrey Smith reports for The Washington Post.

June 20, 2009 at 8:34 pm

In case you didn’t know …


This is what history rewriting itself looks like:

Cheney this week: “No Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2002 – 2003: So believed there was an Iraq-9/11 link that he (and Rumsfeld) authorized the use of torture to extract evidence of an Iraq-Al Qaeda link from detainees

Cheney 2003: “Could be Iraq – 9/11 link”

Cheney 2004: “Clear link between Iraq and Al Qaeda”

… ok … maybe it’s just what shameless evil looks like.

 

History would do well to erase this motherfucker from it’s memory altogether.
If only it could …

June 3, 2009 at 10:24 am

Change SHMANGE – RAAAAA!!!!!!!


The Evil Overlord hath spoken!

COWER PLEBIANS!!!

dcheney“Most Republicans have a pretty good idea of values …”

HAHAHAHA ok ok ok, nevermind!
I didn’t know he was makin’ funnies!

“[They] aren’t eager to have someone come along and say, ‘Well, the only way you can win is if you start to act more like a Democrat.’ ”
::: troof hurts! :::

During an interview with some radio yahoo from North Dakota, former Veep and renown world destroyer Dick Cheney explained his theory as to why the Republican party is basically eating itself from the inside out like the grotesque form of necrotizing political fasciitis it is.

“This is about fundamental beliefs and values and ideas … what the role of dinodickgovernment should be in our society, and our commitment to the Constitution and constitutional principles.”
::: Oh lawd — is he saying they still don’t know?!? Well, the first step IS admitting you have a problem … :::

“You know, when you add all those things up, the idea that we ought to moderate basically means we ought to fundamentally change our philosophy. I for one am not prepared to do that, and I think most of us aren’t.”

Spoken like a true dinosaur …

SOURCE

May 8, 2009 at 2:47 pm 4 comments

Pass that doobie, Dick!


I don’t know what Dick Cheney is smoking but I WANTS ME SOME!!!

America’s evil overlord says no one saw saw the economic crisis coming and, oh yeah – nobody at the CIA has done anything wrong!

THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT, Y’ALL!!!

Darth Cheney spun his fantastical web of lies to an Associated Press reporter who probably had to coerce the beastmaster sign some sort of legal document stating he promised not to – at any point during the interview – attempt to drain the blood from the reporter’s veins and drink it as an afternoon cocktail, quarter small children using chopsticks and piano wire or turn the reporter into a psycho robot killer with his demonic laser stare of doom.
::: LOOK AWAY!!!! :::

Once Ol’ Snarly scrawled his 666, the interview was on.
::: It’s the Fuzzy Logic History Hour with Uncle Dick – YAY!!! :::

He said there is no reason, no reason whaaaaatsoever for Dumbya to even give one little thought [like he’s capable of another kind] to pre-emptively pardoning anyone at the CIA because it’s just a giant ball of CRAZY to think anyone there would have been involved in any of those way harsh interrogationny tactics the rest of the world affectionately calls torture. Nuh uh! Nosireee!!!

“I don’t have any reason to believe that anybody in the agency did anything illegal,” he monotoned while playfully tasering Agent 6 of his Secret Service detail.
::: MULTI-TASKER!!! :::

Dr. Doom went on to say that Shrub has no need, no need whaaaaatsoever  to apologize for not picking up on the globally evident signs of  the looming economic crisis leading to the New Great Depression … even though key business leaders and economists (… Nouriel Roubini anyone? anyone?) had been warning about them, pointing right at them and hanging neon signs directly over them for more than two ‘nuthin’ to see here, war war war, buy a Hummer, the fundamentals are strong’ years.

“I don’t think anybody saw it coming,” he said, bits of crestfallen taxpayer falling from his fangs.

Then he blah blah’d some caca about his  ‘retirement’ plans to write a book or some crapass crap and his desire kill fish in rivers all over the country, but the interview was called to a convulsively abrupt end when his batteries got wet from an unexpected splash of pig’s blood and fried all the circuits in his motherboard.

… I hate it when that happens …

SOURCE

January 9, 2009 at 9:23 pm 9 comments

The pigs are flying!


Test Time!
When both sides completely stop talking about issues, ONLY snipe at each other and go effing nuts over  dumbass, bullshit, crapass common clichés – we have:
A. Less than two months until election day
B. All lost sight of what matters
C. No hope of educating the electorate
D. All of the above
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Sexy GILF Sarah Palin used the word ‘lipstick’ in her acceptance speech and suddenly any use of the word is off limits because it is somehow disparaging to her or her womanhood?
::: Ummm, like no n’ stuff? :::

Nutshell moment:
The phrase ‘you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’ll still be a pig’ has been around forfuckingEVER and is usually used to describe products, services, campaigns and so on that suck, stink, are putrid and won’t fly – no matter how fancy their packaging, message or delivery.

But, you know, that’s just how I’ve always heard it used.
I never checked the ‘Alaskan’ etymology.
::: neither did Big Mac :::

His Maverick Beefiness used it in a speech late last year in Des Moines, Iowa to articulate how he felt about his future running mate – HAHA, no, just kidding! He was referring to Hillary Clinton’s health care plan, silly! (graph 13 if you’re playing along at home):
“I think they put some lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” he said of her health-care plan.

Now, acid flashbacks aside – my memory’s pretty good yet I can’t recall legions of outraged Dems accusing him or the GOP of likening Clinton to a pig … but – then again – they called her everything else in the book (and so did folks in her own party, if we’re being fair here) so it may have gone unnoticed …

But it does seem like folks have been puttin’ lipstick on pigs for a long time! Has it always about Her Alaskan Hotness??

…. hmmmm, let’s see! ….

Was it about her on November 2, 2004 when Vice President Dick Cheney used it?
“As we say in Wyoming, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig,” Cheney quipped in a stump speech, referring to Her Supreme Sexiness – HAHA, kidding again!! He was referring to John Kerry and his assertions he would have been a credible war president.

Ok then … was it about GILFy on August 6, 2004 when an editorial in the New York Daily News used it? Page 46, Column 1:
“As in so many cases, the lesson here is that no matter (how?–ed.) much lipstick you put on a pig, you’ve still got a pig.”
::: Again, like no n’ stuff? :::

Ok, ok. You got me on that one, but what about November 16, 1985 – when the Washington Post used the phrase? Page 1, Column 1?
SAN FRANCISCO, Nov. 15– KNBR, the AM radio station carrying the Giants baseball games, had raised $20,000 toward the construction of a new downtown stadium. The board of supervisors, reluctant to commit to such a project, asked if they couldn’t use the money to renovate Candlestick Park.
“That,” replied KNBR personality Ron Lyons, “Would be like putting lipstick on a pig.”
::: DENIED! :::

Man, this is HARD, y’all!

But it MUST have been about Her Sexy Snowyness with the March 24, 1995 use of the phrase in the New York Times … riiight? Page A22:
Representative Patricia Schroeder of Colorado called them “cosmetic amendments” and said: “It’s like putting lipstick on a pig. When you’re through, you still have a pig.”
::: No?? Again?!? :::

Well then – what about this even older reference from the Times on November 9, 1988?? Pages A1 AND A18:
And on “This Week,” Mr. Boehner said: “There was really no clear agenda for the year, And when there’s no agenda and there’s no real direction, what happens is you can’t–you really can’t have a message. You can put lipstick on a pig all day long, but it’s still a pig.”
::: Ummm, yeah – not so much there either :::

Ok, so none of those were about Hottie Granny but you can’t tell me Time Magazine is innocent!

Time Magazine was sooooo obviously gettin’ their lipstick-gate on when they published the History of the Electric Car – which is so CLEARLY about Her Ultimate Updo I almost can’t control myself:
Sticking a hybrid engine in a jumbo SUV is “putting lipstick on a pig,” says Ronald Hwang, vehicle policy director for the Natural Resources Defense Council, who argues that if GM is green serious, it should give up SUVs and build more efficient cars.

I know — like WOW, right?
Whew! I am so glad THAT is cleared up!

September 10, 2008 at 2:27 pm 5 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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