Posts tagged ‘Detroit’

Aim high


Four Detroit public high schools are embarking on a bold new plan to instill the drive for success in their students by guaranteeing them glitter, Riches and SECURITY in return for hard work and superachievery study habits!

HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Nooooo.

But they can help you get a job at Wal-Mart.

A new partnership between the daytime youth warehouses and the megagiant retail competition-crusher gives students future Made in China peddlers 10 shiny credits toward graduation, 11 superfun weeks of job-readiness training during the schoolday and *PAYDIRT* an after-school entry-level job at the store.
::: Cha … klink … ūüė¶ :::

The Detroit Free Press talked to the principal of one of the schools who sounded positively giddy at the idea of trading his students’ future for finite financial gain.
“The program will allow students an opportunity to earn money and to be exposed to people from different cultures — since all of the stores are in the suburbs.”

Oh yes.
Because we all know how enlightening, elegant and all-around educational the People of Wal-Mart really are! —>

Not so giddy about the plan was Donna Stern, the Midwest coordinator for the Coalition to Defend Affirmative Action, Integration & Immigrant Rights And Fight for Equality By Any Means Necessary (BAMN).
“They‚Äôre going to train students to be subservient workers,” she said. “This is not why parents send them to school.”

Now, it’s true that Detroit has one of the highest unemployment rates in the country, so helping anyone get a job there is a true mitzvah.
And it’s also true that the school system has been run into the ground harder than ValuJet Flight 592, with frightful financials leading to¬†layoffs and the closing of nearly 30 schools … and there’s about a hundredmilliongozillion percentage points of absolute certainty that there’s more where that came from.

So, you can close schools and you can layoff teachers but those pesky kids are gonna keep on comin’ – which begs the question:¬†What DO you do with them?

Well? What?

Wait …You think I have a plan?!

HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Nooooo.

It’s Detroit!
They’re all fucked as far as I can see!

All I know is that if I’m one of those students, I’m taking ‘How to be a Wal-Mart Greeter 101′ and gettin’ my sweet ass an easy A!

SOURCE

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February 26, 2010 at 11:17 am 4 comments

In His name?


No NO NO!!!
That is not how you do it, you sick fuckuva twisted wackjob!
:::¬† … which would normally be a tag of glory but, in this case, it means you’ve summited Mt. Dumbass — plant your flag, moron! :::

Time was a barbecue sandwich and some juice after Sunday school¬†was all it took to lure the faithful … I guess we’re doin’ it differently these days

Ugh … cue the crazy …

troy_ian_brisport_20090215174926_320_240Johnny Law over in Ohio has charged God’s little soldier, Troy Brisport, ——>
with kidnapping, ransom/sheild hostage and felonious assault for handcuffing some poor bitch, gagging her, stripping her naked then dressing her up in …
::: Nooo — it’s not that kind of story!!! :::

… dressing her up in an adult diaper while he …
::: nuh uh … not that kind either :::

… while he read Bible passages to her … for four tragically theologified days!
From the Book of Retard 8:38-19:
“For He is convinced that only an emergency dispatcher will be able to separate the supposed sinner from the sick fuckery being done in His name
at the Tamarack Creek Apartments.‚ÄĚ

Police say the 13th Apostle picked up his victim Wednesday night in Detroit and drove her to his apartment after she told him she had nowhere to stay.

The Master’s messenger must¬†give one sorryass sermon¬†because, at some point, the kidnapee fell asleep, which is when the kidnapper did as the shreiking voices in his head his Lord and Savior instructed and put his prey on hardcore house arrest!
::: Who’s a kinky Christian?!? Whooooz a kinky Christian?!?¬† YOU are!!! :::

Rev. Gotitwrong apparently also tried Рseveral times Рto suffocate his disinclined disciple using a pillow and blanket.
::: … the power of Christ compelled him … :::

I guess giving his testimony must just be, like, way harder and stuff these days because, after all that work, Troy The Thickheaded got a major case of the sleepies and went all nite-nite.

“And the¬†sufferer broke 20 kinds of free and ran walked stumbled into the¬†sun light parking lot to call 9-1-1 … and it was good.” Morons 25:36-27

Have fun ministering in County, dickweed!

SOURCE

February 18, 2009 at 4:43 pm 17 comments

Wicked Witch of the North found – in Michigan!


Kids in¬†Gross Pointe Farms, Michigan got a real scare this Halloween … from the Wicked Witch of the North herself – homeowner Shirley Nagel – who handed out candy exclusively¬†to the offspring of admitted McCain supporters.
::: No Kit-Kats or M&M’s for YOU, Obama brats! :::

Nasty Nagel brought out the Snickers, Skittles and Starburst on Friday night but refused the sweet treats for all those who didn’t share her support for the Republican presidential candidate and his running mate Sarah Palin.
::: oh yeah, THAT’LL teach ’em!¬†:::

A sign outside her house reads:
“No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters or kids of supporters.”

After calling O’Beautiful “scary” she said it was just fine and dandy to turn children away – empty handed and crying on Halloween — because “Everybody has a choice.”
::: Keep it classy, Shirley Рkeep it classy! ::: 

Check election idiocy in all its raging glory on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbkBE0lWeYU

November 2, 2008 at 2:41 pm 7 comments

Civic Doody


texting messages to thwart crimeThe police want you to help them, uhh, take a bite outta crime … with your cellphone.

Because people don’t want to actually get involved¬† or sully their manicured hands with icky crime,¬†cops know that giving tips anonymously is pretty much the only way they can get your input should you see a ne’re-do-well – well, doing some ne’er!

Toward that end the popo have taken the old and crusty Crime Stoppers approach to the next level.

“Departments in Boston and Cincinnati started accepting anonymous text tips about a year ago. And, since the beginning of the year, cities such as Tampa, San Francisco, Seattle, Denver, Indianapolis, New Orleans and Detroit have started their own text-based tip systems. ”

Thwarting crime is cool — so kudos to the plan and all.
It won’t work …¬†but kudos.

It won’t work because it’s un-American.

It is!
I know it. You know it.

This is the NEW America and¬†NEW Americans suffer from Silo Syndrome Myopia which renders them incapable of seeing anything beyond themselves in this great big ol’ world of ours.
::: Ahhhh selfishness – some things never go out of style!!! :::

Yup, this is NEW America, where:See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil

  • People stand by and watch an elderly man being hit by a car like it’s a commercial for Grand Theft Auto — but do nothing to help.
  • A woman is left to die¬†on a¬†hospital waiting room floor¬†while — again — people sit by watching but do nothing to help.
  • A group of teens savagely beats to death a homeless man while — again — people stop to watch and even VIDEOTAPE the murder but — say it with me — do nothing to help.
  • Take my point?
    ::: God Bless Help aMErica :::

    But hey, go ahead … prove me wrong (PLEASE)

    txt ur tip 2day

    July 2, 2008 at 7:23 pm 2 comments


    This is the shit you bitches are reading


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