Posts tagged ‘Delta’

Dear Delta Airlines …


hatedelta
It’s true … but let’s be clear …

I don’t hate Delta Airlines because they have compromised scheduling.
I don’t hate Delta Airlines because they have crappy in-flight movies.
I don’t hate Delta Airlines because their planes smell funkerrific.
I don’t hate Delta Airlines because they can’t control the weather.

I hate Delta Airlines because when ‘things happen’ – as is the natural course of ‘things’ – Delta Airlines and it’s shitass staff are incapable of handling it in a courteous and professional manner … or, well, sheeeeeyut – at ALL!

When my flight Sunday was delayed due to bad weather at my connect — the good old ATL — I took it as an unforeseen opportunity to write a bit on the book.
I’m a multi-tasker like that!

When we took off more than an hour late, I didn’t sweat it because all of the other planes headed to or leaving from Atlanta were late too!
We’re all in the same boa … err … plane!

When we finally landed in Atlanta, taxied to our gate and sat there like caged mice for an extra half hour because, according to our inept flight crew leader Debbie Dinbleberry, ‘hehe, umm, teehee, the jetway seems to be broken … we are soooooooo sorry!!!’ — I interpreted that to mean the crew understood that our initial delay was being further exascerbated by this mechanical problem and were on the radio hard at work getting information about connecting flights for their hostages passengers.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!

They weren’t.

‘I am sooooooo sorry!!!’ Dinglebutt laments over the public address system. ‘We have alerted ALL of the people who need to be notified about this and they are ALL going to get on this as soon as they can so that we can get everyone safely to their next destination!! Thanks for choosing Delta!!’

They are notifying ‘people’ about the jetway malfunction so we know that there ARE working radios on board, yet no one thinks to get information about connecting flights?!
Beads of sweat form on the upper lip of the woman behind me headed to Rotterdam.

32 minutes later …
‘That was a WONDERFUL dress rehearsal for the real thing everyone!’ Dinglefuck instructs the huddled masses. ‘Now, if we could all take our seats, the captain has been given a gate change assignment so we can all go home!’

By the time we rolled to the new gate and everyone had deplaned, everyone’s connection
— let me repeat —
EVERYONE’S CONNECTION had been missed.

Oh, but it wasn’t just our flight. It happened all over the airport.
And you know what?
I have NO problem with flights getting missed or cancelled or whatnot.

Weather happens!

What I DO have a problem with is an airline so apparently completely unprepared to deal with ‘things’.

Adding insult (i.e. dumbfuck in-flight crew leader) to injury (i.e. terminals customer_serviceoverflowing with pissy passengers) were the Delta Airlines ‘customer service’ gals — whose only talent as far as I could tell were making elder persons cry, ignoring the infirm and shouting ‘EXCUUUUSE ME, SIR!’ to anyone who had the audacity to *gasp* inquire about getting on another flight or Delta’s hotel voucher policy.
::: takes ALL the fun out of people watching! :::

Just so you know — if you are unlucky (or braindead) enough to have booked a Delta Airlines flight and you get bumped, miss your connect or, well, just have a question you need an answer to — that is NOT what Delta Customer Service does, mmmkay??

But — if you want to be maligned, ignored or just made to feel like you are the biggest boil on the butt of humanity — Delta Customer Service definitely has something to say to YOU!

And FUDELTA1to Delta Airlines I say a heartfelt and well-deserved Fuck You.

I didn’t fly you for a long time but gave you another shot … and was rudely reminded why, exactly, it was I stopped choosing Delta.

I DO have many choices when it comes to air travel and it won’t be with you – ever again.

Oh and not for nothing — but the children of the very old, wheelchair-bound woman should sue your sorry asses for paying a truly unholy hellbeast to scream at her for 10 solid minutes because she committed the grievous infraction of not understanding how she would get home after missing her flight (and kudos to the group who stepped in on her behalf).
Seriously kids — if you do, email me for the depo!

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September 21, 2009 at 8:20 pm 5 comments

As The World Turned …


What the hell, people!!
A bitch can’t even take a couple of days to get her bereavement on without the whole world going berserk!?!

First I hear that John Madden is hangin’ up the mic and I’m all ‘Can he really do that? Is he even allowed to do that?!?’
::: I bet he goes 20 kinds of Favre by August :::

Then I read that Delta’s ditching their thoroughly detested practice of outsourcing customer service calls to India and I was all ‘Woo hoo! Jobs r comin’ JOBS R COMIN’!’

But that happy had a hella short shelf-life once I self-schooled on GM’s continued bid to be the New Great Depression poster child by shuttering US plants and cutting another 1,600 jobs — even as the company prepares to build factories in China.
::: Their shit actually sells in China … who knew! :::

That gak had me feeling all the bad emotions until I got the 4-1-1 on my badass boyfriend’s semi-awkward olive-branchiness toward Cuba and I’m all ‘Oh God of Outdated Political Policy – could it be? Could it really beeeee????? Might we finally be done with this fossilized Cold War crapola?!?’
::: … it has been a goddamned half century, after all … :::

But I don’t think I felt the full weight of what transpired in the world while I was ‘away’ until my vodka-tonic stupor wore off it was revealed that Amy Winehouse is planning to adopt and cracktise some poor little St. Lucian who is clearly unaware that ‘daughter’ and ‘drug mule’ don’t exactly mean the same thing.
::: Run kid — don’t ask for explanations … just run! :::

And so now I’m all ‘Fuuuuuck! What is there to drink for breakfast, anyway …’

April 20, 2009 at 2:54 pm 2 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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