Posts tagged ‘dead’

Well … DUUUHHHH!


A 33-year-old San Antonio woman is charged with capital murder after decapitating her newborn son and then trying to kill herself with a kitchen knife.

According to the police report, when officers arrived her home Sunday, they found the Otty Sanchez’s newborn son in a back bedroom.

Sanchez told officers that the devil made her kill her child, the report stated.

“That leads us to believe she was experiencing some type of mental crisis when this incident happened,” Rios said.

YA THINK?!?!?

 

SOURCE

July 27, 2009 at 5:30 pm 3 comments

¡Yo quiero R.I.P


Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, has gone to the great Chalupa in the sky.

“She made so many people happy,” her trainer said.

Gidget got God’s call after suffering a stroke today at age 15 … which would have made her about 73-ish  in ‘people’ time, which makes her death, well, not exactly untimely buuuut — due to her ‘star’ status does beg the natural question:
Is she part of the threes?

YOU know.
The THREEEEEEEZ!
Bea Arthur, Billy Mays, David Carradine, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson, Walter Cronkite, Dom Delouise, Jack Kemp, John Updike, Karl Malden, Natasha Richardson, Ricardo Montalban, Ron Silver, Steve McNair …

Sooo, are we starting over?
Whaaaat? You were thinking it …

July 22, 2009 at 6:37 pm 2 comments

R.I.P Steve McNair


art.steve.mcnair.giSteve McNair and his girlfriend reportedly shot to death inside her Nashville apartment.

What.
The.
FUUUUUCK?!?!?!?!?

ACK! 

McNair, 36, spent 13 seasons in the NFL, the majority with the Tennessee Titans, before announcing his retirement in April 2008. He spent his last two seasons with Baltimore Ravens and he was the NFL’s co-MVP in 2003.

What in the fuckety FUCK is going on people?!?
Seriously — this is the last motherfucking R.I.P post I want to do for, like, EVER, ok?
Shit.

SOURCE

July 4, 2009 at 10:13 pm

R.I.P Billy Mays


What in Oxyclean hell is going on here, people?!?!?

TV screamer Billy Mays was found ‘unresponsive’ by his wife at their Tampa, Florida home yesterday morning and pronounced dead a short time later.
::: :(! :::

Billy’d been on a plane the day before that had a bad landing, which he recapped in his Twitter report:
“Just had a close call landing in Tampa. The tires blew out upon landing. Stuck in the plane on the runway. You can always count on US Air.”

In an interview after the landing, Billy said he’d taken a pretty hard hit to the head … hmmmmmm
::: uhh, Natasha Richardson??? :::

This is getting weird now, guys … do we start the count over now?

Whaaaat?!? You were thinking it!

SOURCE

June 29, 2009 at 10:50 am 1 comment

R.I.P City Stages


What a week, eh?

Ed McMahon. Farrah Fawcett. Michael Jackson. City Stages.

City what?


City Stages – ‘The best music festival you’ve never heard of’ if you’re not from ’round here, according to a Chicago Sun Times review.
‘Here’ being parts near or around Birmingham, Alabama.

The three-day, family-friendly, arts and music festival  run by the Birmingham Cultural and Heritage Foundation showcased the last of all performances for, like, ever this year after a more than two decade long run.
::: sadness :::

The event is credited with helping transform Birmingham’s downtown area from blight to bright – re-establishing it as a great place to eat, shop, work and – well, just be.

But dumbass scheduling mistakes around 2001 (move it to grainy rainy May — how’d THAT work out?!?) saddled the hugely popular (and previously rapidly expanding) festival with mounting debt – forcing organizers to scale it down to keep it going. And it did … until this year.

Carrying a debt of more than $1 million, City Stages’ president – George McMillan – said this week that his show, well, won’t go on. 

SOURCE


DAMN THIS FUCKING WEEK!
::: Must regroup :::

KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY 
KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY KITTENSPUPPIESCOTTONCANDY
::: deep, cleansing breaths … :::

I close my eyes. I sail down a glorious rainbow of shimmery, shiny happiness. Wheeeee!!!!!!!!! I land on a cotton-candy puff in a land where I can sleep ’till noon on a weekday and my wine glass is never empty …. Ahhhhhhh

June 26, 2009 at 12:34 pm 4 comments

R.I.P Ed McMahon


“It’s going to be a traumatic time for everyone, there’s no doubt about that.”
— Ed McMahon

June 23, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Big Brother IS watching!


Good news, breadliners!

Your government cares about you!

Well, ok. Maybe not you, Mr. L.A. Dude who offed your whole family govmybadlast year over your mounting financial mess.
Or you, Mr. Ohio Guy who was so worried about money that X-ing out the fam was, apparently, the only option.
And, ok, not you, Mr. Pennsylvania Businessman who’s fiscal failures led to things gettin’ all shooty with the missus.
And, well uh, if we’re being honest —  you either, Mr. San Fran Skin-Care Clinic owner who mistook your lagging sales as a sign it was time to liquidate your loved ones …  

… but for the rest of you sad sacks out there not yet driven to do in those dearest to you – your government wants you to know it cares about you!

It does!
They even set up a super special website to prove it!!

govheroGetting Through Tough Economic Times” — an inadequately-titled guide intended to provide “practical advice on how to deal with the effects financial difficulties can have on your physical and mental health” — launched in the wee hours overnight.
::: … guess no one liked the more aptly-titled ‘How To Deal When Your World’s Gone To Shit’ … :::

On this little corner of the interwebs, the feds will educate your impovrished ass about depression, suicidal thinking and other mental illnesses.
::: Because who knows better about depression and suicidal thinking than government workers, right? :::

govnokillIt lays out the warning flags for: Persistent sadness/crying; Excessive anxiety; Lack of sleep/constant fatigue; Excessive irritability/anger. 
::: Oh. Those aren’t just regular conditions of life now? :::

So, if you’re unsure whether your spouse has slaughter in his/her heart?
If you’re worried that crushing debt is making the one you hold dear consider dumping your dead body in a ditch??
If you’re concerned that paying the bills has poisoned your partner against you???

Don’t take matters into your own ignorant hands!
Consult Uncle Sam – your hard times BFF!

SOURCE

March 31, 2009 at 1:23 pm 1 comment

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