Posts tagged ‘criminal’

Would you hit it?


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‘Cuz someone did … someone paid for these bitches … more than once …

But, you know, I get it.

I do!
As I sit here feasting my eyes upon these two glorious rays of perky, sunshiny femininity I’m overcome with verklemptitudination because Itchy and Scratchy personify the drive, the guts, the sticktoitiveness of American entrepreneurship that keeps this great country of ours moving toward a bright new day of perfection and bliss and unadulterated glee that will enab … uhh … umm … what was I sayi …

Oy gevalt, I’m paying homage to hookers?!?!? 
… fuckin’ meds …

December 20, 2008 at 3:23 pm 8 comments

Daily Caylee – IT’S HER


Remains identified as Caylee Anthony

It’s Caylee Marie. The five-month mystery ended today when authorities confirmed that skeletal remains discovered in woods last week belong to the missing two-year-old girl.

SOURCE

December 19, 2008 at 7:12 pm

POP QUIZ!!!


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OK OK OK – Can anyone tell me what these two hoochie twats have in common?

Is it:
1.) A deep love of peroxide?
2.) The Jaclyn Smith collection at K-Mart?
3.) The two-for-one burger bonanza at Checkers?
4.) A penchant for prepubescent peen?

From the looks of these, uhh, “ladies” you might logically conclude 1, 2 OR 3 … but it’s actually Number Four that binds these bitches together as sisters in sin.
::: Calling SHAME – party of two? SHAME – party of two … :::

yuckHo’bag on the left is 45-year-old Elizabeth Gaddy, who likes Maybelline products, long walks on the beach and gettin’ touchy with 13-year-old schoolboys at her house or on a dirt road or, you know, wherever … 

And the raggedy piece of dried-up skank on the right is 44-year-old Joan Tuckruskye, who likes to get nekkid in the back of her Nissan Pathfinder and offer [you guessed it] 13-year-olds a slice of her fuit-pie nasties.

You know, not for nothin’ here, but there really outta be a national outreach program dedicated to training our youth in Black Ops evasion techniques and supersweet Ninja moves so they can bust a bitch UP and swing on outta there whenever one of these post-menopausal mastodons makes a move on their jubbly bits.

No joke!
Teach the children … and teach them well – because you can NEVER underestimate the destructive power of Avon perfume, Strawberry Hill and needy middle-aged vag strapped with little-boy LoJack … that shit will mess you UP!

December 19, 2008 at 3:39 pm 11 comments

Daily Caylee


The Orange County Sherrif’s Office said today that FBI investigators are examining hair samples taken from the remains of an as-yet unidentified child found last week.

SOURCE

December 18, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Udderly Ridiculous


38-year-old MOOooorestown, New Jersey police officer Robert Melia Jr. can add ‘cow fucker’ to his résumé after being charged with four counts of animal cruelty for allegedly engaging in sex acts with cows between June and December of 2006.

And, yes, I mean the milk-producing, cud-chewing, hamburger-in-the-making bovine kind … not those tracked up, one-eyed truck-stop lot lizards who can eat corn-on-the-cob through a barbed-wire fence.

But, hey, if we’re being honest – I think it’s safe to assume he’d do them too …

December 16, 2008 at 9:54 pm 4 comments

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