Posts tagged ‘community’


Throughout the year — every year — things happen that let you know exactly where you are chronologically.

You don’t even have to ask.
You need only look and you know!

When the sea of pastel stretches as far as the eye can see – Easter cannot be far behind.

When I’m accosted by little girls dressed in green begging me to buy Shortbreads and Do-si-dos on my way into Publix — I know the annual monthlong child-labor church/school/community/other ‘let’s make a deal’ extravaganza has only just begun.

When I see anything made of red felt cloth with white bushy anything around it — or holly, holly’s a dead giveaway — I know it’s July or August and retailers are working their ‘great value’ voo-doo to separate me from my Christmas cash before I can even say LABOR DAY!

And when I behold The Magnificent Pile — I know the beginning of Hurricane Season is scant days away.

And lo and behold – The Magnificent Pile appeared before me this very day!

Actually – I spotted many such piles in my neighborhood but none are EVER as glorious, as spectatular a sight, as magical an ocular indulgence as The Magnificent Pile my neighbor assembles every year!

Palm fronds, coconuts, bouganvilla and hibiscus!
Overgrowth, mulch, moldy cypress chips and dead shrubbery!!
::: And citrus! Because we know how much rats loooove citrus!!! :::

The Magnificent Pile knows no bounds!
She welcomes all comers to decompose en masse in 100-degree weather atop the biggest storm drain in the cul-de-sac.

Afternoon spring rains be damned!
The Magnificent Pile will not be deterred.

There is no great gardening need for my neighbor for six whole months!
The probability of Mother Nature’s pissiosity devastating the dwelling my neighbor so loves is nothing more than a harmful thought for six whole months!!
The likelihood of my neighbor losing insurance is a joke for six whole months!!!

That’s party time in SoFla, bitches!
No need for my neighbor to cut, snip, trim or rake for six whole months!
That’s just how he likes to we roll.

Until sometime before June 1 … when The Magnificent Pile appears like an angel of the Lord to let everyone know that the time of the impending and unforeseen is upon us and he we must clean and cull his our vegetative waste with all due haste …

… or fear a sequel to the weather war that was 2004!

Three weeks and counting …

May 9, 2010 at 9:04 pm 1 comment

It’s good to be Eliot Spitzer

Former New York Governor and Hall of Fame Whoremonger Eliot Spitzer will not face criminal charges for gettin’ his freak on with Ashley Depraved and some other high-priced hookers, federal prosecutors announced this week.
::: Everybody to the champagne room – STAT! ::: 

Michael J. Garcia, the United States attorney in Manhattan, confirmed that, although his office had found that “on multiple occasions, Mr. Spitzer arranged for women to travel from one state to another state to engage in prostitution” they couldn’t prove it was taxpayer money or campaign cash payin’ for that poontang.
::: See, it’s not that prostitution is illegal, per se — it’s the way you PAY for it that’s the crimey part. Good to know!! ::: 

“We have determined that there is insufficient evidence to bring charges against Mr. Spitzer. In light of the policy of the Department of Justice with respect to prostitution offenses and the longstanding practice of this office, as well as Mr. Spitzer’s acceptance of responsibility for his conduct, we have concluded that the public interest would not be further advanced by filing criminal charges in this matter.”
::: So does that mean all Johns who get bizzay on their own bucks get to go free too — as long as they get all boo hoo and are really, really sorry?  :::

Moments after Little Spitz was released from legal lockdown, Big Spitz thanked officials for their “impartiality and thoroughness” and reminded us all that he’s still really, really sorry for his horndoggery.

“I resigned my position as governor because I recognized that conduct was unworthy of an elected official. I once again apologize for my actions and for the pain and disappointment those actions caused my family and the many people who supported me during my career in public life.”

Anyone wanna do an over/under on when the sex tape comes out?

November 7, 2008 at 3:16 pm 2 comments

One of these is not like the others

::: SPIFF! :::


November 6, 2008 at 12:07 am

Progressively … regressive?

Now how did this happen?

How does Florida put on her big-girl britches and grow up enough to elect my boyfriend as the 44th President of the United States yet vote to uphold a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages?

What the eff?
I thought we were on the same progressive-everyone-is-equal page here, folks.

So we’re blue — but it’s really more of a cornflower hoping to mature into a full-on navy at some point? Is that it?

::: *sigh* … baby steps … ::: 

November 5, 2008 at 11:13 am 17 comments

11:00 p.m.: ABC News – OBAMA WINS

Life is good …

November 5, 2008 at 4:03 am 1 comment

‘lekshun Day Suthuhneze

Election Eve … Scene: Sherwood Baptist Church — Huntsville, Alabama

vote_1Y’all done knowed wee’yuz gownnuh bee heeyuher fer hahrz tuh mayk shur thoez loe-dan daymuhkratz doen’t weeyun.

Gawd! Thess iz goennuh tayk fur-ay-ver!

FOE-TOE: Ellen Hudson, Thu Huhntzveeyull Tahmz

November 5, 2008 at 12:09 am

America — this is you?

Open forum commenting, oh how you scare me!
::: and yet, I’m drawn to you like a moth to a flame … like Southerners to sweet tea … like priests to little boys … :::

In the official news void that IS election day up to, oh, say anywhere between 6 and 8 o’clock p.m. Eastern Time – websites everywhere are trolling for user-generated content to fill their ‘election day coverage’.
::: NEATO! :::

“Voter Experience and Random Thoughtification” anyone?


“John McCain’ at writes:
Waited in line for well over 2 hours only to find out I was at the drivers license office. DOH!! Then drove arounf for 3 hours with my left blinker on and found my polling place. Yeah, I blank out sometimes, but it’s okay, I can’t be any worse than what’s in office now, right?
:::: hehe – sorry but that shit is funny! :::

“Al T” of Deerfield Beach, Florida writes:
The only reason this is considered “historic” is he thinks Hussein is going to win.
The NLP implication is there.
::: Oooo – Strageterie! yeah yeah — confuse them with your counter-logicisciousness!! :::

bhamman1967 in Birmingham, Alabama comments:
We do not need a Muslim in the White House
::: Well then I guess it’s just damned good luck there’s not one on yer redneck, racist ballot there fella! :::

takion1 – ranting and raving all KINDS of throughout the unmoderated boards of Elk River, Idaho’s
If you allow Socialism to take root, it will grow to rule all aspects of your life.
Socialism is the beginning of tyranny that will suffocate freedoms for Americans.
NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE, although there are some exceptions to the rule!
::: takion1 needs to pop a pill and go sleepy-bye-bye-time :::

Are we having fun yet?

… stay tuned …

November 4, 2008 at 9:53 pm

Older Posts

Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.

%d bloggers like this: