Posts tagged ‘boobies’

The Holy Braille

Lisa Murphy is a sweet, sweet slice of the rare comingling of awesomeness and ingenuity rarely seen these days.

She’s a visionary – one of those bold thinkers who dare to do what others won’t: Bring boobies and booty to the blind.


Murphy has launched a porn mag for the vision-impaired called Tactile Minds which contains tingle-inducing text alongside raised images of nekkidness – all of which you can enjoy for around $230 US!
::: digs for checkbook :::

She said that she made the book after realising that the ‘blind have been left out in a culture saturated with sexual images’.

“We’re breaking new ground,” she explained. “Playboy has an edition with Braille wording, but there are no pictures.”

Murphy’s masterpiece contains 17 provacative pics, including:
A naked woman in a ‘disco pose’
::: Donna Summer? :::
A woman with ‘perfect breasts’
::: Wait. I don’t remember posing for that … :::
A ‘male love robot’
::: Like the one in my undie drawer? 😉 :::

I love this idea! Braille imagery for everyone!!

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April 14, 2010 at 10:26 am 3 comments

Udderly Ridiculous

A human coathanger walks out of the house in a see-through blouse …

No, this isn’t a riddle … but it is a joke.

While you were busy siphoning gas from your neighbor’s car so you could make it to the unemployment office before the other nine thousand loiterers show up, other people were busy trying to solve real problems.

Limp nips.
::: Who knew?!? :::

This epic dilemma seemed to hit a tipping point after couture-loving international food hater Victoria Beckham was caught accidentally on purpose doing some super-serious raisin smuggling — resulting in an all-out firestorm of fake-titty frenzy!

Are they real? Are they fake? Are they fake?! Are they real? Real? Fake?! Fake!?! Real?!?

Deep breaths … sssshhhhhh … calm down.
It’s ok — it’s not a trick question. It’s Victoria Beckham.

British Titologist Dr. Riccardo Frati said, ‘In the past I’ve had patients coming to my surgery clutching pictures of celebrities like Katie Price and saying: “I’d like breasts like hers” but now there’s a chance that Mrs. Beckham’s designer nipples could be the next big thing for 2009’.


But seriously — while [a very small] part of me’s all ‘Who can blame the bitch for gettin’ her teet meat treated? Skeletor would practically disappear sideways if something [other than her pelvic bones] didn’t stick out!’ — the other 99.9999% of me is all ‘I’m gonna spend thousands for surgical results I already get for free with an auboobsunpadded bra and a little A/C? HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Noooooo.’

Weeelllllll, not unless I can really tweak the twins …



June 22, 2009 at 4:08 pm 7 comments

Leave Miss Football Alone!!

photo02The New York Giants are totally hatin’ on Miss Football, y’all!

All Sondra Fortunato did was stuff her ginormous chi chi balls into a small-ish Santa Claus robe-type thing, cram her cootch into a bathing-suit bottom and push her piggies into some sweet-ass hooker heels before making her way to Giant Stadium this weekend — 20 kinds of prepared to cheer on her team.
::: Be a hussy! Be-E a hussy! :::

Instead she got herself 20 kinds of kicked OUT!
::: HARSH! :::

She swears she doesn’t belong on the naughty list — she’s just “well-endowed.”
“You couldn’t even see my underwear.”
::: I hear that happens when you don’t wear any … :::

She figures other women “got jealous and complained.”
::: b-cup bitches be hatin’! ::: 

Ahh, but it was security for the Big Blue Wrecking Crew who weren’t havin’ it.
They escorted her out, telling her to cover that shit UP … for the chirrenz.

Personally, I think the janky ho deserves a medal or a plaque or at least a little stick-on decal for being able to reign in that kind of chesticular fury!
Fun is fun ’till one of those bad boys breaks free and takes out a toddler!

December 16, 2008 at 11:33 am 9 comments

Boob vs. booby bar: Your tax dollars at work

It went from bow chicka bow bow to bow chicka bowOWW  when a stipper workin’ the pole at the local tittay bar sent her Stiletto soaring with something as simple as a singular toe flick.

I hate it when that happens! You step into your spinback on the way to the hip-reveal and whammo! – wardrobe malfunc …. uhh, well, I mean, that’s what I hear can happen …

Aannnyputmyselfthroughcollege, that shoe shot off, shattered the mirrored ceiling and sent glass raining down like silvery shards of lawsuit all over 35-year-old Charles Privette.
::: poor widdul pervert – him gots a boo boo :::

George Gettinger, general manager of Margate’s Booby Trap,  confirmed such an incident happened and paramedics were called, but the emergency responders apparently weren’t too worried about Privette’s injuries.
“A quote from the paramedics was, ‘I can’t believe you even called us for this,'” Gettinger said.

But panty waste hired himself a lawyer anyway (like you didn’t see that coming) and filed himself a lawsuit, wherein he states that he sustained a small laceration to his eyebrow, headaches and nose bleeds as a result of the Jan. 14 shoeing and is seeking at least $15,000 in damages because The Booby Trap breached “its duty when its employee failed to perform her routine in (a) reasonably safe manner.”
::: and you thought you had to have a ‘gina to be a gold digger, didn’t you?!?  tsk tsk :::

Seriously people, can’t we just toss this prick a few sticky pennies from the floor of the Champagne Room and call it even Stevens?

October 15, 2008 at 8:25 pm

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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