Posts tagged ‘body’

Ummmm…


Child’s remains discovered near Caylee Anthony’s home

UPDATE: 911 call transcripts released
“If you can, try to stress to him to please not draw attention to the area. And that would be great. Just in case it is something. It may be nothing. But just in case.”
Click to listen to the call

Earlier Friday (12/12) – Remains ‘tentatively’ identified as Caylee
A defense attorney for Casey Anthony said investigators told lead counsel Jose Baez that the body found Thursday near Anthony’s house in east Orange County was “tentatively” identified as Anthony’s missing daughter, Caylee Marie.

Thursday: late afternoon (12/11):
“… looks like we got her”
cayleea“The words were, ‘Tim, it looks like we got her,'” said Tim Miller, the founder and director of EquuSearch. “It looks like finally it’s over with.”

Thursday: afternoon (12/11)
Remains “appear to be Caylee”
Miller said the remains “appear to be Caylee, but with any case, we have to wait until a positive ID is made.”

Thursday: morning (12/11)
“… remains were found in a bag in the area of S. Chickasaw Trail and Suburban Drive by a utility worker. The location is less than 1/4 mile from the Anthonys’ home on Hopespring Drive.”

RELATED: Murder trial postponed
Casey Anthony’s attorney Jose Baez had waived her right to a speedy trial at a hearing this morning … before the discovery was made. The trial is now set for March 2009.
The irony is that Baez’ actions now pave the way for the State to take as much time as it needs to put together its case against his client.

“The forensics that are going to be performed are going to answer a lot of questions (in terms of prosecutors asking for the death penalty),” said legal analyst Bill Scheaffer. “This is obviously a major setback to the defense.”

Case Wrap-up

December 11, 2008 at 5:27 pm 10 comments

Masticatory Misrepresentation?


Hey there fatty, wanna drop some tonnage?
Feel like trading in those itty bitties for some bigger, firmer breastesses?
Care to put the kibosh on those grody granny hot flashes?

OF COURSE YOU DO!
WHO WOULDN’T?!?

And do you want to achieve all of the above with absolutely no commitment or effort whatsoever??

OF COURSE YOU DO!
WHO WOULDN’T?!?

GOOD – because the shady charlatans at Zoft and their fabulous line of wonder gums can, for about $32 a pop, help you chew your way to full-on fabulosity!

Chomp your way to chestiness!

Smack your stress away!

Wear out your jaws for wondrous weight loss!

Munch away your menopausal misery with minty-freshness!

Heck – you can even grab a pack to perk up the peen!

But don’t take my word for it
::: I’m serious — do not take my word for it :::

Check out these completely fabricated and unverifiable testimonials …

 “I’ve been taking this product for over a month now and have lost 7 pounds. I couldn’t be more pleased! I also have much more level of energy..I guess it’s mainly because I’m lighter. I feel great!”
Well thumbs up to YOU, Sandra, 37, from Nevada – sloth and stupidity finally pay off!!!

“It effected nearly since day 1, After 3 weeks I’m using it – the results are great, highly recommend”.
Dan, 23, Los Angles
WOW – Thanks Dan from, err, Los Angles??? for that wonderfully ambiguous and moderately illiterate recommendation!

“Loved this product, will definitely order more, I feel much better. At the beginning I was skeptic, but it caused an improvement. Also shipping was super fast! Thanks a lot!”
Karyn, 25, Florida
Awesome Karyn!! I mean, I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about – but kudos on that phenominally super-fast delivery — you just don’t SEE that every day!!!

Anyone sampled the Double Bubble Butt yet?

August 20, 2008 at 1:06 pm 1 comment

There’s no hope for the rest of us


Kate Beckinsale doesn't like her bodyAll hope was lost the moment Kate Beckinsale demanded a body double for her latest film. Apparently, she “loathes” her bottom.

Umm, yeah – that’s Kate in all her horrifically gigantic, lard-assness right there —————>

Disgusting, I know.

A  source on her new film Whiteout said: “Kate has a terrible self-image. She thinks she is fat and she is always complaining how certain outfits make her bottom look big. Of course, the reality is that she has the most amazing body.”

Tragically — she isn’t soliciting comments with those remarks. She’s actually seriously effed in the head.

How terrifically sad is it when an Oxford-educated, outrageously gorgeous, successful mother/wife/actress who reportedly suffered anorexia as a teenager is still battling retarded self-image demons?

If you’re the parent of a daughter … hug her today and make sure she knows she is the apple of your eye and perfect just the way she is (well, that  and make sure she stays far, far away from R. Kelly).

June 16, 2008 at 7:22 pm 3 comments

So NOT bringing sexy back


Andy Garcia has a hairy back

Updated lyrics inspired by Andy Garcia’s fur coat:

He’s got a hairy back
Them paparazzi don’t know how to act
I think it’s gross what’s growing from your back
So turn around or I’ll throw up my snack
Take him to the spa!

Dirty back
You see that rear mane 
Baby needs a shave
A nasty back rug makes me want to heave
It’s just that humans shouldn’t look this way

Take him to the spa!

 Source

May 21, 2008 at 2:03 pm 3 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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