Posts tagged ‘blogger’

Meghan McCain: Dating Martyr


Big Mac ruined EVERYTHING!

First he fucked up what could have been the absolute best ménage à troi in political history.
::: idiot! :::

Then his rabid race-baiting followers grossed voters out even more than his geezer locks and lemony Chiclets.
::: 5 words peepaw: Elizabeth Arden Red Door Spa :::

AND NOW his losery loserness has just wreaked utter havoc on daughter Meghan’s love life!
::: nice going, DAD!!! :::

“Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become,” the lonely ‘ho boo hooed in a blog post for The Daily Beast.
::: … someone needs John Edwards’ cell number – STAT … :::

“There are things that have been difficult, but nothing quite as tough as dating. I fear the election has destroyed my ability and desire to date.”
::: So you had to take one for the team … MAN UP!! ::: 

Miserable Megs also moaned about not going on a single date – NOT A SINGLE ONE! – during the whole and entire presidential campaign.
Bitch was just too busy to get bizzay.

But now that her dad’s put the old Straight Talk Express in park, Meghan’s ready to get her groove on!
Only she can’t.
‘Cuzza dad.

“Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a “maverick choice” and proceeded to tell me, “Wow, straight talking must run in the family.”
::: Important Tip: eHarmony doesn’t screen out McCainiacs :::

Then there was that psycho fan of her mother, Cindy McCain, who recently told her she could be “his Cindy,” and asked if she ever wore pearls like her mother.

“Any guy that has a fetish for older women in pantsuits [Hillary] and large pearls [Barbara Bush] obviously only finds my last name attractive about me,” she wrote.
::: It really is your best feature, honey :::

“I am sure I am not being fair to all the men out there, but my recent experiences have left me scarred and wary of dating. At this point, my biggest aphrodisiac is an apathetic attitude toward politics.”

Meghan?
Allow me to introduce you to the perfect contestants for your dating game:
DMX … and Fiddy

Problem Solved.
Case Closed.
Now STFU and go gitcha swerve on, girl!

SOURCE

March 3, 2009 at 4:39 pm 24 comments

Ahead of his time


calvinhobbsSomeone sent Greg Mankiw this –>
“Calvin & Hobbes” comic strip  from 15 years ago that sums up today’s bailout situation rather succinctly … enjoy!

(Click for full view)

February 12, 2009 at 11:14 am 5 comments

Look who’s turning 1!


cookieisoneWho’s having the best week EVER?!?!?

YOU KNOW IT!!!

Fresh on the heels of my MAJOR AWARD, it occured to me this morning that this raggedy-assed collection of blah blah is a year old today.

And can you believe I almost missed it!?!

The most supremely awesome excuse to celebrate snarky bitchiosity to the extreme — and I almost fucking missed it!!!

I mean, sure, I thought today felt different when I came to woke up, but I figured it was either the hangover kweeezies or my pregame ‘eventhough-two-teams-I-hate-because-they’re-not-Auburn-are-playing-in-the-NCAA-National-Championship-I-am-superpsyched-100%-past-perpetuity-because-FOOTBALL-is-the-single-most-hugely-spectacularly-luscious-chunk-of-perfect-in-the-whole-wide-world’ mindset.

And that’s when it hit me!
It was the morning after last year’s NCAA Championship that I birthed this bitch!

 … my how she’s grown …

January 8, 2009 at 3:12 pm 16 comments

South Carolina not happy to be gay


Oh honey chil’ – South Carolina is pissed, Pissed, PISSED!!

Seems someone leaked the Palmetto State’s gayness all over a London subway last weekend as part of a quiche-ified tourism campaign.
::: YAY! Company!! :::

The campaign called for plastering the subway with posters advertising the charms of South Carolina and five major U.S. cities to gay European tourists.

The South Carolina poster says:
“From plantations to the Civil War. Golf to gay beaches.
Hilton Head, Charleston, Myrtle Beach.
There’s no place quite like South Carolina.”

Wait. What?
I’m sorry, but I don’t see the big gay problem here?
According to the poster, the only thing gay about South Carolina are some beaches.

Big whoop!

I’m near Key West, and I’ve been to Fantasyfest! Y’all are gonna have to bring a WHOLE lot more gay than some crummy beaches to get my attention!

Ahh, but sadly (if not predictably), it did get attention in South Cackilackee, where the campaign was greeted with nothing less than shock, horror, revulsion, denial, wine spritzers and a very nice fruit and cheese assortment (from what I hear).

After The Palmetto Scoop wrote about the promotion, officials were falling all over each other in the race to publicly readjust themselves and be all ‘Nuh UH, we don’ cotton tuh thaht kahnd uv bu-hayvyer heeyuhr.’

Republican (ooo big shock there!) state Sen. David Thomas – no friend of Dorothy, he – got his panties 27 kinds of twisted over his state being outed. He put on his prissy pants and called for an audit of the state’s advertising budget.

Speaking for homophobes statewide his constituents, Thomas said, “South Carolinians will be irate when they learn their hard earned tax dollars are being spent to advertise our state as ‘so gay.”
::: Yeah, I’m sure they much prefer being advertised as ‘so bigoted’ :::

Tourism officials insisted they knew nothing about the campaign. So it’s kind of strange that, when the promotion was first announced last month, the tourism board issued a statement saying “it sends a powerful positive message.”

But now  they’ve pulled their foot back from the other stall and are canceling payment on the posters … but not before the big, burly bureaucrats laid blamed the whole unfortunate episode squarely on the shoulders of some ‘low-level state worker who did not run the idea by senior officials’.

The employee, who was not identified, resigned last week.
::: Probably for the best. Bigots turn bully real fast :::

And what of Atlanta, Boston, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Washington, D.C. – the other  cities who took part in the campaign?
Oh, they’re just fine — and thanx for asking!!!!

None have reported any negative backlash.
They are, in fact, very much into meeting new people, traveling and taking part in the $64.5 billion U.S. gay tourism market.

So fuckyouverymuch South Carolina and good luck with that whole ‘coming into the 21st century’ thing!!

Byeeeeee

July 16, 2008 at 6:07 pm


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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