Posts tagged ‘beach’

You Won’t Wish You Were Here


Ever had one of those moments you wish you could rewind and go back to before it ever happened and do the one crucial thing that didn’t happen in the first place to prevent it from actually happening?

I had one of those this morning.

Mr. Cookie and I have a routine on some Saturdays where we end up at the beach the very first thing in the morning. It’s a nice way to start the day — especially for people like me who (for the past several months) simply cannot sleep.

It’s relaxing.

Well, usually it’s relaxing.

This time it wasn’t.

This time I saw two people die at the beach.

An older couple – Barbara Agelatos, 57, and Denis Agelatos, 70 – from Albany, Georgia drowned in an unguarded area of a local public beach — caught in rough surf and dangerous rip currents they couldn’t escape.

It’s just a sobering thing to witness – even from too far away to really know what’s happening … but let’s be honest, you know what’s happening.

I wish I could go back to the moments just before they walked into that water. I wish I could have been there to caution them against wading into that water. I wish anyone had.

I keep thinking about the Agelatos in that water together. In trouble in that water together. Trying to help each other out of trouble in that water. And knowing that water was winning.

I keep thinking about their family and hoping they are able to find some peace in this saddest of situations … but let’s be honest, they probably won’t for some time yet.

I think about the two men who worked tirelessly to help them until more help and the police and paramedics arrived … and I hope those two men know how amazing they are for doing all they could just in an impossible situation.

I think that’s all I have for today …

May 15, 2010 at 10:00 pm 6 comments

High Fashion


Behold the delicious nugget of sophisticated elegance that is human mattress Tara Reid:

Tara is taking time off from her regular gig as covergirl for Cocktail Quarterly and Tequila Times to chase her real passion: freebasing fashion design.

No shit — you read that right.
Tara Reid is launching a clothing line.

Not content being the only street red carpet walker who thinks double-sided tape is soooo last year, Tara and her wonky chi chis debuted ‘Mantra‘ – a collection of swimsuits and casual wear – in Las Vegas this week.
::: TARA GOT A JOB! TARA GOT A JOB!!!:::

The list of descriptive terms one could use for Tipsy and her croutons is long and varied, but one thing she can’t be called is out of touch.
::: comatose, yes.  out of touch, no :::

Rummy employed a crack team of marketing ninjas to work day and night in an effort to identify her target demographic.

They hit paydirt one afternoon at TGI Fridays when they – literally – stumbled upon the 17 haggard, stretchmarked skanks who don’t snicker like high school sophomores when her name is used in the same sentence with words like ‘Star’, ‘Actress’, ‘Successful’ or ‘Sober’.

And then – faster than you can say acute alcohol poisoning –
* BAM *
Mobile home chic has a brand-new face!

“It’s about putting into the universe what you want in life: Red means love, pink is friendship, green is lucky, black is protection.”
::: red, pink, green and black – I have a bruise that looks JUST like that! :::

But I get it though … white means purity, so we know that color was a no go. And I guess there’s no room for the international color of jaundice: yellow.
::: bummer :::

But it’s all good, ‘cuz Toasty and her no-no hole, like, totally promise  these duds will rock your whirl!

“You’re gonna need an alibi have a story when you wear this bikini or when you put this dress on. You’ll either get love or meet a new friend or you might meet a guy.”

And, by that she means her fashions are tear-away and edible so that nothing  can stand in the way of you and your future STD.

Wet wipe?

August 27, 2008 at 4:42 pm

Back Off, Bertha!


We had a nice, quiet June, didn’t we?

Tropical Storm Bertha trackHad some barbecue (mmmmm – barbecue …), went to the beach (fyi — nude beach in Ft. Lauderdale is hilarity in a man hammock!), got our drink on (don’t ask – I can’t count that high) — and now it’s the end of the first week of July and we have …

Bertha.

Look bitch — stay away. Kay?
My summer is going along just fine and I have neither the time nor the patience to figure out this early which bank I can knock over to pay for the gas my generators will suck down in the dark days after a storm.

I just don’t need the stress – so keep it offshore like a good little tropical storm and everybody’s happy.

July 6, 2008 at 1:58 pm 4 comments

So NOT bringing sexy back


Andy Garcia has a hairy back

Updated lyrics inspired by Andy Garcia’s fur coat:

He’s got a hairy back
Them paparazzi don’t know how to act
I think it’s gross what’s growing from your back
So turn around or I’ll throw up my snack
Take him to the spa!

Dirty back
You see that rear mane 
Baby needs a shave
A nasty back rug makes me want to heave
It’s just that humans shouldn’t look this way

Take him to the spa!

 Source

May 21, 2008 at 2:03 pm 3 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: