Posts tagged ‘amy winehouse’

What the funk?!


Thirty-four Fort Worthians had their buns hauled to area hospitals yesterday after what was originally thought to be a poisonous gas leak at a downtown Bank of America building turned out to be someone’s funk ass perfume.

“Two employees reported some dizziness in close association with someone spraying on some perfume,” a fire department official said.
He said that when the two reported being dizzy to a supervisor, “an announcement was made over the building’s PA system saying that anyone feeling these symptoms should exit the building to an outside location.”

And, shock of shocks! Total fucking PANIC ensued.

Fire Department officials referred to the episode as an example of collective “psychosomatic behavior.”

Medical experts often refer to such episodes as “contagious fear.”

The Cookie believes the episode was actually the result of “the testing of Amy Winehouse’s new fragrance.”

SOURCE

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July 31, 2009 at 12:28 pm 1 comment

As The World Turned …


What the hell, people!!
A bitch can’t even take a couple of days to get her bereavement on without the whole world going berserk!?!

First I hear that John Madden is hangin’ up the mic and I’m all ‘Can he really do that? Is he even allowed to do that?!?’
::: I bet he goes 20 kinds of Favre by August :::

Then I read that Delta’s ditching their thoroughly detested practice of outsourcing customer service calls to India and I was all ‘Woo hoo! Jobs r comin’ JOBS R COMIN’!’

But that happy had a hella short shelf-life once I self-schooled on GM’s continued bid to be the New Great Depression poster child by shuttering US plants and cutting another 1,600 jobs — even as the company prepares to build factories in China.
::: Their shit actually sells in China … who knew! :::

That gak had me feeling all the bad emotions until I got the 4-1-1 on my badass boyfriend’s semi-awkward olive-branchiness toward Cuba and I’m all ‘Oh God of Outdated Political Policy – could it be? Could it really beeeee????? Might we finally be done with this fossilized Cold War crapola?!?’
::: … it has been a goddamned half century, after all … :::

But I don’t think I felt the full weight of what transpired in the world while I was ‘away’ until my vodka-tonic stupor wore off it was revealed that Amy Winehouse is planning to adopt and cracktise some poor little St. Lucian who is clearly unaware that ‘daughter’ and ‘drug mule’ don’t exactly mean the same thing.
::: Run kid — don’t ask for explanations … just run! :::

And so now I’m all ‘Fuuuuuck! What is there to drink for breakfast, anyway …’

April 20, 2009 at 2:54 pm 2 comments

Drugs are bad … mmmmkay?


I’ve got a post-debate hangover which means I feel bad that it wasn’t a true blowout one way or the other and when I feel bad I think of other people who I bet feel bad or at least look bad and so I try to find pictures of them to make myself feel better because, well, look at them — they’re fug and famous which means they’re worse off than me because I can be fug in my computer room and no one has to know.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sucks to be you famous fuggies!
And so, while having my fourth cup of coffee (what?!? that’s normal!!) I came across the poster child of famous fug and so I am turning my Saturday morning into a PSA because, well, I care.
::: actually I don’t have anything else going on for a while — the gym isn’t open yet, but whatever … :::

I give you Amy Winehouse — snapped doing something somewhere in London sometime last week (photo left). I’m sad for her because I remember her just four short years ago when her career began to blow up (photo right).

Seriously, does anyone care about this bitch?
And just how the hell is she still alive?!?

Britney — you takin’ notes, hon?

September 27, 2008 at 1:14 pm 3 comments

Oh, sweet, delicate beauty …


Behold: Amy Winehouse at the V Festival this weekend.
Ever the consummate performer – she didn’t even stop to pick out the bong residue from underneath her fingernails.
… fanlove … 


Photo: WENN

August 17, 2008 at 11:56 pm 1 comment


This is the shit you bitches are reading


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