Posts tagged ‘advertising’

There’s a Rep for that!


Best take-off of the iPhone ads I’ve seen so far … enjoy!

October 22, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Spirit’s Smock Schock


Some not-yet-laid-off flight attendants forgot that whole ‘thankful to have a job in this New Great Depression’ thing and got all Captain Pissy Pants over a new uniform design that *SHOCK* includes an apron showing logos for certain alcoholic beverages.

Deborah Crowley, the HBIC of Spirit’s flight attendants union chapter, said “turning flight attendants into walking billboards is unacceptable.”
::: Well yeah – sure, ‘cuz losing your job like those 7,000 United schmucks or those 1,700 USAir hacks or the ‘undiscosed’ number gettin’ the JetBlue boot of doom is, like,WAAAYYYY more acceptable — GOTCHA!! :::

Apparently mystified by that whole ‘revenue stream’ concept, the Association of Flight Attendants chapter at Spirit Airlines said:
1.) The uniforms send the wrong signal to passengers
::: Which would be what? “Thank you for flying Spirit! Why yes we DO have a beverage service!” OMG — WHAT AN OUTRAGE!!! :::

2.) Make it harder for flight attendants to enforce safety regulations.
::: because … like, what? The apron isn’t really an apron but rather an undercover agent of some super secret terrorist cell?!? OMG — WHAT AN OUTRAGE!!! :::

My advice?

REPRIORITIZE, BITCH!

Strap on the apron, sling the sauce, collect your cash and direct your righteous indignation where it really belongs — at Spirit’s long history of stupid sexist fratboy advertising!

I mean, who can forget last year’s ‘We’re having a threesome’ special – OR this year’s sequel to the superclassy campaign from 2007:

::: … ok, actually I’m just pissed no one asked me to be the spokeswhore on that one … :::

January 28, 2009 at 4:47 pm 7 comments

Everybody Panic!


Oh my god – the end is near!!

This is bigtime seriousness worthy of multiple exclamation points for maximum emphasis!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some Google big guns broke out the big-girl panties this week and sent a memo to folks in the New York City office informing them of *GASP* reduced cafeteria hours and **DOUBLE GASP** reduced food selection as part of an effort “to find areas where efficiency can be improved.”

ACK!
PHLIK!!
GWOCK!!
::: slow. deep. breaths. :::

Seriously though – you should panic.
Now.

The day you see the big swingin’ dick around town pinchin’ pennies is the day you can pretty much start packing it in.
That’s it.
Lights out.
Don’t let the ‘jobs are next to go’ sign hit you in the ass on your way out.

Googlers see Mr. Economy over at the bar putting GHB in Miss Advertising’s cosmo as he prepares to butt rape that bitch well into the next presidency and, since they’ve watched their golden stock get a tad tarnished after losing nearly half it’s value this year, the cheeses are running scared.

They’re derailing the worker-bee gravy train and pulling the plug on some of the perks for which their company is universally famous.

Afternoon tea on Tuesdays?
GONE!
Snack-a-palooza smorgasbord in the micro-kitchen?
NOT ANYMORE!!
Free dinner take-out?
hahahahaha — No.

Google is also shaving a half-hour off the time the hired help get for breakfast.
::: Don’t they know it’s the most important meal of the day?!?!?!  :::

Morning munchtime has been whittled down to one wimpy hour (down from 90 minutes) … and that’s not all! Lunch and Dinner have been trimmed from 2 hours to 90 minutes.
::: quel horreur!!! :::

Oh but it’s not all bad.
The brass did toss the little people a bone … they promised the occasional ‘surprise snack attack’ just like their big-boy counterparts get in Google’s Mountain View, California offices.
::: a teaspoon of sugar helps the medicine go down … :::

Employee morale meltdown in 3 … 2 …

October 30, 2008 at 3:38 pm 1 comment

South Carolina not happy to be gay


Oh honey chil’ – South Carolina is pissed, Pissed, PISSED!!

Seems someone leaked the Palmetto State’s gayness all over a London subway last weekend as part of a quiche-ified tourism campaign.
::: YAY! Company!! :::

The campaign called for plastering the subway with posters advertising the charms of South Carolina and five major U.S. cities to gay European tourists.

The South Carolina poster says:
“From plantations to the Civil War. Golf to gay beaches.
Hilton Head, Charleston, Myrtle Beach.
There’s no place quite like South Carolina.”

Wait. What?
I’m sorry, but I don’t see the big gay problem here?
According to the poster, the only thing gay about South Carolina are some beaches.

Big whoop!

I’m near Key West, and I’ve been to Fantasyfest! Y’all are gonna have to bring a WHOLE lot more gay than some crummy beaches to get my attention!

Ahh, but sadly (if not predictably), it did get attention in South Cackilackee, where the campaign was greeted with nothing less than shock, horror, revulsion, denial, wine spritzers and a very nice fruit and cheese assortment (from what I hear).

After The Palmetto Scoop wrote about the promotion, officials were falling all over each other in the race to publicly readjust themselves and be all ‘Nuh UH, we don’ cotton tuh thaht kahnd uv bu-hayvyer heeyuhr.’

Republican (ooo big shock there!) state Sen. David Thomas – no friend of Dorothy, he – got his panties 27 kinds of twisted over his state being outed. He put on his prissy pants and called for an audit of the state’s advertising budget.

Speaking for homophobes statewide his constituents, Thomas said, “South Carolinians will be irate when they learn their hard earned tax dollars are being spent to advertise our state as ‘so gay.”
::: Yeah, I’m sure they much prefer being advertised as ‘so bigoted’ :::

Tourism officials insisted they knew nothing about the campaign. So it’s kind of strange that, when the promotion was first announced last month, the tourism board issued a statement saying “it sends a powerful positive message.”

But now  they’ve pulled their foot back from the other stall and are canceling payment on the posters … but not before the big, burly bureaucrats laid blamed the whole unfortunate episode squarely on the shoulders of some ‘low-level state worker who did not run the idea by senior officials’.

The employee, who was not identified, resigned last week.
::: Probably for the best. Bigots turn bully real fast :::

And what of Atlanta, Boston, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Washington, D.C. – the other  cities who took part in the campaign?
Oh, they’re just fine — and thanx for asking!!!!

None have reported any negative backlash.
They are, in fact, very much into meeting new people, traveling and taking part in the $64.5 billion U.S. gay tourism market.

So fuckyouverymuch South Carolina and good luck with that whole ‘coming into the 21st century’ thing!!

Byeeeeee

July 16, 2008 at 6:07 pm

Toemercial appeal?


camel toe commercial

Only once in my life have I ever seen an instance of camel toe worse than this — and, at least, HIS was on purpose!

What I want to know — what I MUST know is just who in the hell screened the local auto dealership commercial featuring the spokestoe above and said ‘Now that there is a go for air, gents!’.

Was it a blind dude?
Was it her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend?
Was it that bitch from accounting who found out she lost out to ol’ blondie in the race to date the dealership’s F&I manager?

Seriously! Who could have possibly watched the teevee spot featuring this facially attractive woman wearing the horrifically ill-fitting khaki pants and thought ‘Yessss, whale tail — THAT’S what new car buyers are looking for!’

Someone who never made it down that far. That’s who.
Which means it had to be a man.

Blonde hair: CHECK
Ample boobage: CHECK
Almost too-tight shirt: CHECK

And the toemercial is born.

June 23, 2008 at 10:22 am 4 comments


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