Posts tagged ‘ad’

If I made commercials …


October 27, 2009 at 9:48 am 1 comment

There’s a Rep for that!


Best take-off of the iPhone ads I’ve seen so far … enjoy!

October 22, 2009 at 11:46 pm

AWESOMENESS!!!!


Beat it Burger King!
Suckit Spirit Airlines!!

THIS Flash funny is the most awesomely fantastic fucking ad ever to be nestled gently inside a javascript protocol!!!
::: frealz :::

Click here (and do what the man says …) for some HAHAHA – hell yeah!

SOURCE

June 27, 2009 at 6:59 pm 11 comments

You like me! You really like me!


cookieyeahI’m gettin’ my Sally Field moment on because my hard work undeniable insanity, dedication dementia and deference to the sanctity of the written word unquenchable thirst for snark has FINALLY paid off!
::: YAY PAYOFF!!!  … and I mean that in the strictly NON-Rod Blagojevich sense … :::

I just found out that my special brand of crazyass commentary has rubbed off on at least ONE of you sluts, and now I’m all ‘yeah’ and ‘woo hoo’ and stuff!
::: YEAH and WOO HOO ‘n stuf!!! :::

‘Huh?’ you say?
::: … stay with me Jethro … :::

Textimps – the site dedicated to helping bloggers get exposure – has made selected chosen annointed CROWNED me, moi, yours truly, this birdbrained bitch’s blog that occasionally brings the BWAHAHAHA!!! as their ultra-special, first-class, top-shelf  Site of the Week.

SITE OF THE WEEK, PEOPLE!!!!!

This.
is.

HUGE!

I mean, there’s no plaque or trophy or certificate or anything [is there???] just the sweet sweet satisfaction of knowing that my shit isn’t just for hookers hopped up on pills, losers under prison lockdown or wacked-out nutjobs kickin’ it old-school style in a psych ward padded cell.

txtxtimpsNO! I’m, like, a gozillion plus infinity times more specialer than that!!

Am so!
I have infected corrupted perverted disturbed TOUCHED at least one normal, productive member of society!!!!
::: My teachers and guidance counselors and parole officer and Judge Schneider and the guy at the deli and, well, you were all wrong!!! I AM SOMEBODY!!!!!! :::

The rest of you hussies should just submit now. Frealz.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!

… isn’t this how pandemics start? …

January 6, 2009 at 4:46 pm 18 comments

Well now that that’s done …


Well butter my buns and call me First Lady!
::: No, really. I’d like it. :::

While Big Mac was reportedly bagging Britney and Paris for a skankerific new campaign ad, the Washington Post decided to just give us the terrorist-sympathizing, fist-jabber president we deserve already.

Woo hoo!! Prom here we come!

July 30, 2008 at 4:20 pm 2 comments

South Carolina not happy to be gay


Oh honey chil’ – South Carolina is pissed, Pissed, PISSED!!

Seems someone leaked the Palmetto State’s gayness all over a London subway last weekend as part of a quiche-ified tourism campaign.
::: YAY! Company!! :::

The campaign called for plastering the subway with posters advertising the charms of South Carolina and five major U.S. cities to gay European tourists.

The South Carolina poster says:
“From plantations to the Civil War. Golf to gay beaches.
Hilton Head, Charleston, Myrtle Beach.
There’s no place quite like South Carolina.”

Wait. What?
I’m sorry, but I don’t see the big gay problem here?
According to the poster, the only thing gay about South Carolina are some beaches.

Big whoop!

I’m near Key West, and I’ve been to Fantasyfest! Y’all are gonna have to bring a WHOLE lot more gay than some crummy beaches to get my attention!

Ahh, but sadly (if not predictably), it did get attention in South Cackilackee, where the campaign was greeted with nothing less than shock, horror, revulsion, denial, wine spritzers and a very nice fruit and cheese assortment (from what I hear).

After The Palmetto Scoop wrote about the promotion, officials were falling all over each other in the race to publicly readjust themselves and be all ‘Nuh UH, we don’ cotton tuh thaht kahnd uv bu-hayvyer heeyuhr.’

Republican (ooo big shock there!) state Sen. David Thomas – no friend of Dorothy, he – got his panties 27 kinds of twisted over his state being outed. He put on his prissy pants and called for an audit of the state’s advertising budget.

Speaking for homophobes statewide his constituents, Thomas said, “South Carolinians will be irate when they learn their hard earned tax dollars are being spent to advertise our state as ‘so gay.”
::: Yeah, I’m sure they much prefer being advertised as ‘so bigoted’ :::

Tourism officials insisted they knew nothing about the campaign. So it’s kind of strange that, when the promotion was first announced last month, the tourism board issued a statement saying “it sends a powerful positive message.”

But now  they’ve pulled their foot back from the other stall and are canceling payment on the posters … but not before the big, burly bureaucrats laid blamed the whole unfortunate episode squarely on the shoulders of some ‘low-level state worker who did not run the idea by senior officials’.

The employee, who was not identified, resigned last week.
::: Probably for the best. Bigots turn bully real fast :::

And what of Atlanta, Boston, Las Vegas, New Orleans and Washington, D.C. – the other  cities who took part in the campaign?
Oh, they’re just fine — and thanx for asking!!!!

None have reported any negative backlash.
They are, in fact, very much into meeting new people, traveling and taking part in the $64.5 billion U.S. gay tourism market.

So fuckyouverymuch South Carolina and good luck with that whole ‘coming into the 21st century’ thing!!

Byeeeeee

July 16, 2008 at 6:07 pm

Toemercial appeal?


camel toe commercial

Only once in my life have I ever seen an instance of camel toe worse than this — and, at least, HIS was on purpose!

What I want to know — what I MUST know is just who in the hell screened the local auto dealership commercial featuring the spokestoe above and said ‘Now that there is a go for air, gents!’.

Was it a blind dude?
Was it her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend?
Was it that bitch from accounting who found out she lost out to ol’ blondie in the race to date the dealership’s F&I manager?

Seriously! Who could have possibly watched the teevee spot featuring this facially attractive woman wearing the horrifically ill-fitting khaki pants and thought ‘Yessss, whale tail — THAT’S what new car buyers are looking for!’

Someone who never made it down that far. That’s who.
Which means it had to be a man.

Blonde hair: CHECK
Ample boobage: CHECK
Almost too-tight shirt: CHECK

And the toemercial is born.

June 23, 2008 at 10:22 am 4 comments


This is the shit you bitches are reading


Creative Commons License
Lifeisacookie is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 United States License.


%d bloggers like this: