Posts filed under ‘life’

Seriously?


Seriously.
::: meh :::

Today’s ‘No Shit’ bullshit story: Kids who play ‘choking game’ may take other risks, too’.

Seriously?!
Sadly. Seriously.

Someone went out, secured funding and got their study on to prove the obvious obviosity that the precious little snowflakes who find it just nine kinds of F-U-N to obstruct available O2 from finding their little lung units DO, in fact, find risky behavior MORE than nine kinds of rewarding?

Seriously?!
Seriously.

A group of APPARENTLYGOTNOTHINGBETTERTODOers over at the Oregon Health Authority spent some serious clock ticks surveying more than 5,300 eighth-graders to find out if they’d heard of the choking game, and if so, whether they had participated.

Twenty-two percent of children said they had heard of the game, and 6 percent had participated in it.
::: No word on what percent of  pubers lied about either, but I think it’s safe to say that when talking about teens it would be a not tiny tally of the sum total of ’em. Talkin’ truth here … ::: 

And this, gentle readers, is the part where you close your eyes, travel to your mental happy place and take deep, cleansing breaths as you try to block from your mind the reality that THIS WASN’T ALREADY OBVIOUS!?!

Seriously.

April 17, 2012 at 1:56 pm 3 comments

Boo is BACK, bitches!!!!!


BOO LIVESEnd the panic!
Bring the YAY!!
SMILE EARTH DWELLERS!!!

For Friday the 13th is NOT a bad-luck day and life as we know it is NOT, in fact, coming to an end!!

Because it’s not true.

Because he Is ALIVE!!!!!

Mah (newest) BOO is ALIVE, y’all!!!!

ALIVE!!!!!!

As in not dead!!!!!!!!

Boo is BACK!THERE JUST AREN’T ENOUGH EXCLAMATION POINTS TO CAPTURE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!!!!

Awful, horrible, heinous people were spreading  awful, horrible, heinous rumors over the interwebs yesterday that Boo — the cutest, cuddliest, most captivating canine ever to set paw on the planet — was just a desperate little piece of D-E-A-D, sparking worldwide SADZ!

‘… Boo is dead? This is traumatizing,’ one devotee to the little doggie wrote.
::: *sniff :::
‘You will live forever on the Internet,’ wrote another.
::: WAAHHH! :::

Frownie faces everywhere!
Until today!

Today, when God parted the clouds, opened the heavens and mercifully rained down showers of shiny, sweet, golden kisses of AHHHHHH as the truth was revealed.

BOO LIVES!!!

And life is good again.
On Friday, the 13th.
The day before the Greeneyedgirl’s birthday.

AHHHHHHHH

🙂

SOURCE

April 13, 2012 at 10:55 pm 1 comment

ALL HAIL BB!!


Yesterday bore witness to a mighty feat!

A Major Accomplishment!!

A MONUMENTOUS EVENT!!!

… and you missed it …

… a fact that would normally make me put on a big ol’ boo-hoo frowny face for you, except — this time — I don’t have to.

Because you were saved.

SAVED!

Saved by my Birmingham Buddette — who’s name shall remain a secret but who’s initials are The Most Magnificent Mom and Marvelous Motorist Extraordinaire To Infinity EVAR!!!!

SAVED!

Because she’s a hero like that.

ALL HAIL BB!!

Because while you and Flo Rida were gettin’ your collective ‘Good Feeling’ on, she was diverting DOOM by keeping her shit all kinds of together while witnessing nothing short of all-out hitchhiking hijackery — on her windsheild!

BEHOLD!

Hitchhiking Hot Slut

Questions abound!

How was the runaway reptile able to sustain the shanghai at speeds in excess of 70 miles per hour?!

How did my Birmingham Budette manage to operate her automobile under such dire circumstances?!?

How did that lizard stay latched on for more than 20 miles?!?!

How many of you motorists passed this public phenomenon – completely unaware you could have borne witness to one of the most treacherous treks in all of known history dating back to the  invention of the WHEEL in the most ancient of times?!?!?!

Ohhhh, make no mistake about it, people!

THIS will undoubtedly go down as one of history’s GREAT mysteries!

Because the critter certainly has no comment and my Birmingham Buddette’s far too fly to divulge the deets before the book deal’s done!

… and you missed it

ALL HAIL BB!!

March 27, 2012 at 3:34 pm 2 comments

Best Actress – EVER!


Take a hike Katharine Hepburn!
Elizabeth Taylor and Bette Davis? BORING!!
And forget you Jane Fonda and Jodie Foster!!!

Step aside ladies – and take note all of you little gold statue awarders – because there exists an actress of such singular accomplishment that no other can possibly even be considered for the ultimate acting accolade this Sunday.

OH YES THERE IS!

And she recently delivered a performance so riveting, so compelling, so crazy wicked amazing that it puts to SHAME every other winner of every other Oscar in the 83-year history of the presentation of the prize!

TO SHAME, I SAY!!!

Meet Patricia Hastie. ——->
Patricia recently played Elizabeth King in movie ‘The Descendants’.
Elizabeth King is married to Matt King.
Matt King is played by George Clooney.

Now, I’m not going to go all ‘spoiler’ on you or anything in case you, like Elizabeth King, have been in a coma or somesuch and are walkin’ around all oblivious to shit — but let’s nutshell this bitch and suffice it to say it turns out Lizzy’s just a big ol’ ho-bag who’s been having secret sexy times with someone who’s initials are NOT HER HUSBAND MATT and poor Matt was none the wiser until Lizzy bumped her big ol’ ho-bag head in a jet-ski race and basically cut the legs out from under her entire family’s not-so-normal life.

But playing a comatose ho-bag is not what makes Patricia worthy of serious Best Actress EVER snaps.

Playing a comatose ho-bag who lies motionless, expressionless … COMATOSE … NOT EFFING RECIPROCATING … while George Clooney plants his pucker all up on her comastose ho-bag lips is what make her the BEST ACTRESS EVER!

It does not get more METHOD, people!

She had to dig REALLY deep – give the hand, the side-eye and a very Sahar-worthy lip curl to her very own emotional core to pull that off!

She had to travel to that place where basic human instinct takes over and naturally COMMANDS you to open wide and make sweet, sweet love to George’s tonsils with your tongue for no less than 90 consecutive seconds!

Patricia Hastie scaled the heights of acting theory, came back and delivered nothing short of acting MAGIC!!

She is a MASTER THESPIAN!!!

She is the BEST ACTRESS EVER!!!!

Oh hell, who am I kidding.

That scene alone makes that her the Best Actress OF ALL TIME EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE KNOW UNIVERSE AND ALL GALAXIES EVER CREATED …

EVER!!!!

February 24, 2012 at 8:24 pm 2 comments

You see it


January 30, 2012 at 5:25 pm 1 comment

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