Posts filed under ‘holiday’

So that happened …


With the Newtown Massacre just a super-sized slice of  STILL TOO FRESH :(, it’s no small wonder that my snark just isn’t as up-to-snuff as I like that shit to be.

So I’m not even gonna go there right now.

But I’ll leave you with this …

… and tease you with this snippet of a soon-to-be-revealed MAJOR AWARD — Major Awardthe likes of which is eternally unparalleled with any accolade ever accorded to any living organism ever to have existed throughout the entirety of all of the ages known the man!!!

Yup, it’s that big.

December 31, 2012 at 6:11 pm

Happy Birthday Big Jeezy!


And to those of you who didn’t get what you wanted … deal.

It’s not time to clock out just yet. 😉

252_22958_9fa125f460bb81d861f4e5f086eaae58

Merry Merry!

XOXO — Cookie

P.S. – Cookie Toss This Week 😉

December 25, 2012 at 10:26 pm

Thanksgiving … a time for family …


Enjoy it if you can 😉

XOXO – Cookie

November 21, 2012 at 10:02 pm

Awful-ly funny


… because Greeneyed girl didn’t find it amusing 😛 …

December 1, 2011 at 2:49 pm 3 comments

So … well, uh … that happened …


Bored over the long holiday weekend, The Universe got out the old mounted globe, played Pick A Spot, landed on Parish, New York and opened a ginormous can of IRONY on 55-year-old Philip Contos.

The Harley-head was determined to show that the government had no right to make him wear a helmet while riding his motorcycle, regardless of the consequences.

And boy, did he show them. 😦

Participating in a ride supported by ABATE (American Bikers Aimed for Education), to protest New York’s mandatory helmet law, Contos hit his brakes and was thrown from his bike.
His head struck the pavement, causing a fatal skull fracture.

We have reached the point, kiddies, where I know I don’t have to tell you that officials said his death would have been prevented had Contos been wearing a helmet.

Nope. I don’t have to tell you that.
And no one had to tell that to Contos, either.

His brother, Richard Contos, said ol’ Phil’d do it again … if he could.
“He would have wanted it that way. … He protested everything.”

Not anymore he doesn’t.

And that makes me sad, because anyone who trolls this waste of space I call LIAC knows I amm all about the nuh uh!
‘Cept I gotta call an ultra NUH UH on this one.

I don’t know Phillip Contos, but I do know he chucked a BIG OL’ deuce to any future demonstrations … or family functions … or holiday memories … or delicious cheesburgery goodness … or happy sexy times with that special someone … or ANYTHING … by dying for this cause.
Which also makes me sad because it’s bullhead stupid.

Shuddit, Mr. ITHOUGHTYOUWEREABLEEDINGHEARTLIBERALFUCKINGHYPOCRITEWHORE. Just shuddit, ‘kay toots?

I almost need a cotton-padded chest cavity my pinko-commie liberal heart bleeds so heavily for free choice (yeah!), free speech (Yeah!!), free love (HELL TO THE YEAH!!!), but even I know there are limits.
::: I am my mother! :O :::

And I can lay this truth upon you today because I have a brain still firmly encased in osseous matter.
::: PULSERIFICALLY PRIMO! :::

Yup, it is 100% redwhiteandblue appliepiebaseballmom AMERICAN to take your peeves public.

Protesting is patriotic!
Protesting can be positive and downright pleasureable!!
Hell, I want channel my inner Phil Ochs, raise a fist and rally for a cause RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

And I can.
Because I am still an animate object.

Feeling the wind in your hair?
I feel that!
Open-aired exhilaration?
I’m down!
Living to ride another day?
LIKES IT!

Seriously guys? Resist that retarded urge to be a law maker.
Take Ron White’s advice and just ‘put on the fucking helmet’ already.

July 5, 2011 at 2:29 pm 4 comments

We interrupt this blog …


Remember when John McCain temporarily suspended his presidential campaign to ‘fix the economy’ and then temporarily suspended caring about the economy to participate in a debate with my boyfriend?

Well, this is sort of like that … if you take out all the parts that aren’t, that is.

Yours truly has to temporarily suspend annoying the Sahars and Sahar-supporters of the world, mocking the masses, decrying this New Great Depression (and its casualties), poking fun at political puerility and delivering dumb bitch of the day deliciousness so that I can temporarily annoy a bunch of other people who, like, pay me cash monies for shit and suchlike.

Don’t hate!
MONEY TALKS BITCHES!
But only for a little while 😉

What does this all mean?

It means Ann Coulter can relax.
(by snacking on small children)

It means Sarah Palin can continue the Imawhackjob World Tour-a-palooza.
(TEEBEGGURZZ UNITE!)

It means Jesus freaks everywhere can continue to see the holiest of holies in the unlikeliest of places (and do other nasties in His name).
(Geezus!)

It means Whitney Harding can continue bringing the hotness to make up for the extreme sizzle-deficit caused by … well … you remember.
(Oh delicate flower of supreme womanly elegance – how we do remember you …)

It means this guy can continue his one-man firestorm of fucktardery on ‘da laydeez’.
(barf)

It means Meg Ryan can continue to just absolutely 100% fuck herself UP nine ways to Sunday!
(and that’s no joke!)

It means COLLEGE FOOTBALL RULES!!!! (especially Auburn Football!!!)
(Auburn is the way and the light. Bow to the power!!!)

It means International Whore Day can MUST continue with gusto!
GO WHORES!!!

It means Tara Reid can continue … oh who are we kidding – BOTTOM’S UP BITCH!
(burp)

It means The Cookie’s game plan for the next everhowfuckinglong means going global to help manage the metamorphosis that has — albeit temporarily — appropriated her existence.

June 22, 2010 at 4:57 pm 18 comments

Pure Awesome


December 31, 2009 at 12:56 pm 6 comments

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