Posts filed under ‘fashion’

GET THE FUNK OUT!


No really.
That’s an order!

Straight from the majorlymegamagicalmouth of the proud papa of one of music’s finest forms comes the most magnificent melodious mandate of the new millenia!

Get THE Funk OUT!

“The state of funk today is kind of funked up,” laments William Earl “Bootsy” Collins. “If you say anything about those old musicians to youngsters today, most of them don’t have a clue. All they know is who their favorite bass player or guitarist is now. They have no idea how to connect those dots, where this style or this music comes from.”

These kids today!

So what’s Bootsy doin’? 😉

Well, starting this July, he’s going to school those young ignorant asses at Funk University, an online bass guitar school he is co-creating and curating with actor-entrepreneur Cory Danziger.

HELL YEAH!!!

As F.U.’s lead professor, Bootsy has designed an intense curriculum tailored for intermediate to advanced bass players as well as anyone interested in a deeper understanding of funk, and has enlisted a who’s-who of bass legends to serve as guest professors.

With the groove our
Only guide
We shall all be moved

In Bootsy’s Lecture Hall, he will provide extensive lectures on funk, the bass, and his body of work, while his professors articulate Bootsy’s lectures with lessons and exercises on bass and rhythm inside the classroom areas.

Now everybody say ‘Bootsy’!
BOOTSY!!
(Everybody come on)

The library will house a wealth of multimedia learning content, from video and audio to gear tutorials. Staff reviews of students’ performance will be conducted periodically, and professors will also hold office hours to answer students’ questions.

On your mark, ready set go
Gotta do a thang, gotta disco

Professor Bootsy will also be judging student track submissions as part of a series of regular school competitions. Interested players are encouraged to sign up for exclusive information at http://thefunkuniversity.com.

Consider me joinin’ the wet set … the workin’ up a SWEAT set, Boot-say!

Enjoy an all-time fave, willya?

May 25, 2010 at 1:26 am

I WANT ONE!!!


I am so jealous!

Chloë Sevigny has what can only be described as THE perfect accessory for summer – her very own drag queen!

I AM SO JEALOUS!!!

I mean, it’s not just that I deserve my own drag queen — WHICH I TOTALLY DO – it’s also that I have EARNED that bitch, goddamnit!!

Is a drag queen not a living caricature?
::: Me :::

Does a drag queen not live to entertain??
::: ME :::

Are drag queens not all hairspray, fabulosity and sequiny-superspecialness???
::: MEEEEEE!!! :::

  • I know the difference between a Bottom and a Top!
  • I can rock that look better than La Palma himherself!!
  • And my appreciation for the arts is indefatigably undeniable!!!
  • The obvious obviosity of me being deserving of of my own drag queen cannot be more … well … OBVIOUS!

    Come on Donna Summersault or Eineeta Lay — I’m ready!!!

    May 23, 2010 at 7:49 pm 4 comments

    Gather ‘Round The Disco Bald


    Jim Eastabrook is SO giving Philip Levine the side-eye!

    While it’s true and I can’t deny that nobody rocks a rug like Jim Eastabrook – it’s got to be said that across this whole and entire planet there is NOBODY who bedazzles his baldness like Philip Levine!

    “I thought why not use it as a canvas, paint and attach things to my head using the border of where my hair would be,” he said.

    GLORIOUSLY GLABROUS!!!

    Just look at those coiffureless creations!

    For four years, the 28-year-old London-based cultural attaché, club promoter and all-around trend-setter, has been using his “lengthening forehead” as a canvas.
    With the assistance and artistic expertise of body painter Kat Sinclair, Levine’s creative cranium has become something of an underground phenomenon in the clubs of London.

    But his head became truly H-O-T when it got called up from the minors and landed in the mainstream of English art-and-design discussion the day Levine debuted his “crystal” head.

    OOOOOOoooooo

    “Using hundreds of thumbtack-sized Swarovski crystals, Levine has created a swooping, shimmery, rockabilly mane. It’s apparently magic in the sunlight. It’s also pleasantly transitory – the crystals begin to fall off after a day’s wear,” a reporter recently wrote.

    AAAAaahhhhhh

    On average the designs take two hours to create, but some of the more elaborate have taken up to five hours and are therefore reserved for parties.

    Damn! I knew there was something I forgot to bring to the b’day fest this weekend!

    SOURCE

    April 12, 2010 at 10:14 am 1 comment

    You know it’s Fashion Week somewhere …


    … when Stay-Puft Aluminun-Foil Outerwear makes the news.
    <————————

    Now me? Personally?
    I love this look.

    I do!

    I want closetsfull of this shit in my wardrobe so that no matter where I am, no matter how remote my location — I will always be able to find a radio station. 😉
    ::: … and rob people … because, let’s face it – that headearfacemask thingmabob is the perfect complement to a successful jackin’! :::

    Photo: AP

    February 24, 2010 at 11:11 am 6 comments

    Pure Awesome


    December 31, 2009 at 12:56 pm 6 comments

    The Fuggie


    Come ON America!

    You can do better than this!!

    The country that rightly celebrates the majesty of college football, the moxie of manipulations to electoral process and the mastery of military might canNOT be the same country that has so clearly sunk to subterranean sickness by making that wretched remnant we all know as the Snuggie(TM) the number one holiday gift this year.

    And yet *sigh* it is.

    “The product’s fun, useful nature combined with its affordable price make the Snuggie(TM) blanket the perfect holiday gift,” blah blah’d Anne Flynn – Allstar Products Group’s HBIC of Marketing.

    So perfect, in fact, that shoppers are being warned – WARNED I SAY – to rush rush and slap their cash monies down on the fug rug no later than December 11 [THAT’S TOMORROW BITCHES!!!] if you really want to insult Aunt Kay properly on Christmas morning.

    Oh but don’t worry fellas, Allstar hasn’t cut YOU out of the gotta have it category when it comes to this grotesque garmant. No sir!

    In the wake of Black Friday and Cyber Monday, some new Snuggie(TM) styles and colors are selling out quickly, PR Newswire reports. To keep up with the high consumer demand, Allstar has introduced even more eye-offending prints and colors including:
    Camouflage!
    ::: perfect for tree-stand snuggle times :::

    Tie Dye!
    ::: great when the ganga’s too strong :::

    And Black and Purple!
    ::: wonderf … wait – they didn’t offer that shit originally?! ACK! :::

    So if you are one of the apparent millions of Americans with no style, taste or creativity this holiday season, get your orders in NOW because nearly all of the current Snuggie(TM) colors and designs will be discontinued after this season.
    ::: Oh thank God … there IS a Santa Claus! :::

    SOURCE

    December 10, 2009 at 2:59 am 6 comments

    God is good ’till he gets your ass FIRED!


    Newspaper Headline: Home Depot worker wears ‘under God’ button, then gets fired

    Story (nutshell version): Guy wears ‘One nation under God’ button to work at Home Depot, gets verbal warnings to cut it out but nothing happens ’till he starts bringing his Bible to the biz — then things got all employment terminationey and now he’s whining that Home Depot is anti-God and anti-troops.

    Editorial Comment: Seriously?
    This shit again?
    Not news.

    Bottom Line: You tried to get away with something. It didn’t work. Get over it.

    Like most businesses, Home Depot has a dress code policy states noncompany buttons, regardless of their message or content, are not allowed.
    Don’t like it? Don’t work there.

    Company spokesdude Craig Fishel said Home Depot has a “proud history” of supporting the military, and that it sanctions several of its own buttons for employees to wear, including one that reads: “United We Stand.”

    United We Stand … yep, I think that’s generally regarded as a universally supportive sentiment. Uh huh.

    But Trevor Keezer’s buttonation wasn’t really just about supporting the troops.
    “You can’t have country without God,” he said
    ::: actualy, Trev – you can :::

    “Every pin they showed me had no ‘God’ on it or anything.”
    ::: OH GOD! :::

    “I was told [my button] had to come off, or I would be sent home. So they sent me home for six straight days without pay. And then today they terminated me,” he said.
    “It never crossed my mind to take off the button because I’m standing for something that’s bigger than I am.
    ::: Hmmm, bigger than you are … maybe I use that copout so I can wear my ‘Republitards are child touchers’ baby tee to work … :::

    “They kept telling me the severity of what you’re doing and I just let God be in control and went with His plan.”
    ::: Looks like God’s the new Donald Trump, biatch! :::

    Keezer says he didn’t set out to make a religious statement [yes he did], but now that he has, he believes he’s done the right thing. [Of course he does – he has to! It makes the unemployment line more tolerable.]

    Listen kid, you must just be really new to the whole world of work … so let me break it down for you:
    Employers actually do have the right (and sometimes obligation) to tell your hourly ass exactly what you can and cannot wear — otherwise we’d be run amok with camel toe, Daisy Dukes and decolletage …
    ::: Passable on a Saturday night at One Eyed Jack’s but not so much for the 9-5 :::

    … or worse! — Klan garb, religious ridiculousness or *ACK* Palin paraphernalia!

    Trust me kid — nobody wants that shit!

    SOURCE

    October 26, 2009 at 2:43 pm 7 comments

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