Posts filed under ‘actors’

Pure Awesome

December 31, 2009 at 12:56 pm 6 comments

Bitch, Please!

Demi Moore is a MASTER THESPIAN!!!

She IS!

In an interview for some crikety-crap, this trick actually sat there with a straight face superfibbin’ the following:
“It’s completely false – I’ve never had [plastic surgery]. But I would never judge those who have.”

Well of course not — all Master Thespians live by the glass house rule!
::: BTW – Demi’s facial doctoring alone is said to include chin implants, a nose job, eye lift, cheek implants and botox … you see it. :::

Fibber McGhee continued
‘… the day when I start crying when I look at myself in the mirror might be the day when I’m less adamant about not having it done.”

Uhhh huh … and that would be what – 15-20 years ago?!

Poor 45-year-old Demi must dmhshave added some super DUPER sniffy snax to her daily regimen of leech detox therapy, 54 Red Bulls and endless self-affirmation because – and we all know it’s believable – word on the street is she’s spent anywhere from $500,000 to $600,000 as of 2007 (NOT counting rhinoplasty and correction for a seriously wonkey eye back in the day)  ——->

dmkAnd just what do you get for that kind of money?
The Works, yo!
• Liposuction of the hips, inner and outer thighs and stomach
• Beast implants (Striptease, anyone?!?)
• Subsequent operation to reduce the breast implants and have a breast lift
• Brow lift
• Chemical facial skin peel
• Collagen injections
• Knee surgery

Personally, I don’t think Demi should be bothered people know believe she’s had stuff done.
Bitch can go full Joan Rivers and get a whole new face every couple of years for all I care!
It’s really all she’s got …


September 2, 2009 at 10:26 am


Ashton Kutcher is no William Shakespeare

Everybody ok out there?
Total surprise, right?!?

But it’s true.
He’s just a giant empty toolbox.
::: Take a moment. Reset your reality. :::

pieceofmeatWhen asked about his synthetic spouse, did that trick compare his bitch to:
A delicate rose?
A magnificent winged angel?


He likened his bride to a burger.
“You know when you first discovered a hamburger and then you can’t live without it? That’s what it’s like for me with her.”

Shall I compare thee to an In-N-Out Double Double?
Thou art more scorched and seasoned.

True Duh 4Ever!


August 11, 2009 at 1:01 pm 1 comment

You gotta fight … for your right …

You will not hit the ceiling. You will not tear up the town. And under no circumstances will you attempt to cut footloose in the wee morning hours around Des Moines, Iowa.
::: Jack, get back! :::

An FL_baconasinine ordinance – circa 1942 – that’s still on the books makes public dancing between 2 a.m. and 6 a.m. Monday through Saturday and 2 a.m. through 8 a.m. on Sundays about 20 shades of not legal.
::: Whoa, Milo! :::

This is some Reverend Shaw Moore shit!
“Even if this was not a law, which it is, I’m afraid I would have a lot of difficulty endorsing an enterprise which is as fraught with genuine peril as I believe this one to be.”


“It’s a silly law that shouldn’t exist and the law shows we aren’t keeping up with the times,” said Ren McCormack Zachary Mannheimer, executive director of the Des Moines Social Club.

A feeling that Willard, Ariel and the rest of the gang down at Bomont High School, like, totally share and stuff!

They say they’re done playing it cool, obeying every rule. They’re burning, yearning for somebody to tell them that life ain’t passin’ them by! Because, let’s face it, they know it will … if they don’t even try.
That’s right.
They can fly!
If they’d only cut loose.


FL_meetingSo they’re planning to make an impassioned plea at today’s City Council meeting in an effort to get city leaders to abolish the outdated dickslap to the dance and revitalize the spirit of the repressed townspeople!!

Not for nothing, but this shit would actually be funny — if it were’t true, which it is and that gives me the sadz …

But hey, Des Moiners – I hope you win.

FL_willardNot [only] because there is some high-ass hilariosity whenever you get a bunch of whitebread midwestern Iowans shakin’ what their mamma’s gave ’em and bumpin’ it to the Peas’ Boom Boom Pow (for serious!) — but because it’s not just about a dance …

… Not anymore.

PHOTOS: Paramount Pictures

July 13, 2009 at 2:29 pm 6 comments

Woody would be proud

Demaris Meyer is PISSED!
Despite that pesky lawsuit, she’s probably filled a U-Haul’s worth of notebooks with Demaris Freeman Mrs. Demaris Freeman Mrs. Demaris Meyer-Freeman Mrs. Morgan Freeman scribbles decorated with hearts and flowers and geritol rainbows only to learn that it was all for naught!

The National Enquirer is reporting that 72-year-old Morgan Freeman and his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E’Dena Hines are going to tie the knot so they can do sexy fucky times all legal-like and shit.

Sucks to be you, Demaris!
But hey — if he can’t keep it  in his pants, at least he’s keeping it in the family!
(Thanks KC!)


July 9, 2009 at 7:23 pm 3 comments

Picking Your Battles 101

rachelweiszbotox1Rachel Weisz wants a ban on actors injecting themselves with extreme amounts of botox …

… apparently has zero problem with injecting extreme amounts of Photoshop into her career.



July 8, 2009 at 7:21 pm

R.I.P Billy Mays

What in Oxyclean hell is going on here, people?!?!?

TV screamer Billy Mays was found ‘unresponsive’ by his wife at their Tampa, Florida home yesterday morning and pronounced dead a short time later.
::: :(! :::

Billy’d been on a plane the day before that had a bad landing, which he recapped in his Twitter report:
“Just had a close call landing in Tampa. The tires blew out upon landing. Stuck in the plane on the runway. You can always count on US Air.”

In an interview after the landing, Billy said he’d taken a pretty hard hit to the head … hmmmmmm
::: uhh, Natasha Richardson??? :::

This is getting weird now, guys … do we start the count over now?

Whaaaat?!? You were thinking it!


June 29, 2009 at 10:50 am 1 comment

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