I roll my rubber over ^this mess^ every day and ask myself this question:
What in idiotic indicatory indication hell is this fucked up shit?!?
After many weeks and much thought, I have decided there is only one possible answer.
It is the fucked up indicatory indication that some jive-ass fool in the Palm Beach County Engineering and Public Works Department thought was just this side of ‘ehh, s’good enough this close to Happy Hour’ to be permanently placed on the pavement, thus perplexing passers-by in perpetuity.
Two lanes arrow left … into southbound Military Trail. Ok.
One lane arrows right … into northbound Military Trail. Good.
One lane arrows ahead … into … a … concrete wall. Uh, notsomuch!
::: Although I’m sure it’s a certain kind of tee-hee to see Sylvia all wide-eyed and
white-knuckling it while bringin’ the ”turn Melvin” ”It’s a turn, Melvin”
Last I checked, that long road that runs up and down the East Coast, stretching from Florida to Maine is one of those do-hickeys called an Interstate and is assigned one of those two-digit numbers (key word there, peeps — NUMBERS) that gets bigger as you travel West to East, explaining why it’s all the way up there at 95 everywhere it’s referenced.
Because on the day this bit of the byway was being branded, Mr. Jive-ass fool must have been hittin’ the pipe pretty hard because — and I’m no super-sleuth or anything — that looks like a P … a backwards P … which makes it, like, a LETTER instead of, you know, a number, which makes me sad because I have to conclude Mr. Jive-ass fool is the product of a Mississippi public school education that came to what I can only conclude was a rather convulsive end at about the 6th grade.
But hey, you know me. Always looking for the silver lining; The Rainbow; THE BRIGHT SPOT!
That’s not me.
That’s my green-eyed friend.
But if I was like that I’d have to say a silent prayer of PRAISE JESUS Mr. Jive-ass fool isn’t responsible for directing traffic to, say, Ichnetucknee Springs or some shit.
*hat-tip to JR for puttin’ jive-assery on the menu 😉
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