Would I lie to you?
Uhh … what I meant to say was ‘of course – not!
But I could put on my Fibber McGee pants and walk you through a veritable WORLD of whoppers!
And it’d be ok.
Because lying is like, a thousand kinds of good!
Because there was studification of that shit at an actual institute-type place in Canadia that, like, PROVES it ‘n stuff!
The Institute of Child Study at Toronto University surveyed 1,200 little labbers aged two to 17.
And you know what they found?
::: yeah, I know I jumped that shark already, just go with me here :::
1. Tellin’ tales is a developmental benchmark kind of dealio denoting intellectual development.
2. We get better at bringin’ the bullshit as we get older.
You pickin’ up what they’re puttin’ down out there?!?
Lying is, like, a sign of SMARTNESS!!
But you gotta ease gently into the pool of prevarication, apparently.
Only a fifth of 2-year-olds were able to lie, but by age 4, 90% of the preshuss snowflakes were capable of pullin’ the wool.
And the ability to fudge the facts purportedly peaks at age 12, which means the minors in your midst are flat-out mastering that mess as they mature.
— CUE MRS. DONOVAN’S FREAKOUT IN 3 … 2 … —
Britney isn’t going to any after-school study group, is she?