Spielberg is pissed, yo!
Some über-eggheads out there have gotten together, swapped brain waves or charted some graphs or used an abacus or some shit to decisionize a radical new theory that basically lays down the scientifical HELL NAW on that little old lifelong assumption that we human types aren’t the only intelligent life in the uni, after all.
Watch out Santa — they’re coming after your fat ass next!
But frealz … there’s apparently this thing out
you’ve I’ve never heard of called the Drake Equation that’s been used since the earth’s crust cooled 60’s as the basis of all acceptance on behalf of everyone EVERYWHERE that — Yes Virginia — there really are ET-type deals and suchlike kickin’ it all over the cosmos.
‘Cept for maybe not ‘n stuff.
Because there’s this report on arXiv.org that slaps a bullshit sticker on that mess, effectively putting the DE on the galactic DL.
And don’t you just KNOW the folks out there searching for extraterrestrial intelligence at places like the SETI Institute in California feel like a big ol’ bunch of doofi right now!
::: Oh just stop trying to sound it out and get your smart on … it’s pronounced archive dot org :::
is was that you could use the Drake Equation to calculate the likelihood of making radio contact zzzzz with extraterrestrials by approximating the number of zzzzzzz radio-transmitting civilizations in our galaxy at any one time by multiplying a zzzzzzz string of factors such as:
1. The number of stars
::: but doesn’t that change? :::
2. The fraction of stars that have planets
::: Wait. Stars are buying whole planets now?!? I thought they just owned their own islands. :::
3. The fraction of those planets that are habitable
::: can’t be long after we get hold of ’em :::
4. The probability of life arising on such planets
::: can’t be much after we get hold of ’em :::
5. The likelihood of that life becoming intelligent
::: can’t be much afte … ugh, you know the drill :::
And over the years, researchifiers have used this ‘logic’ to make some ‘educated’ guesses and come to the collective conclusion that there are about 10,000 tech-savvy civilizations in the galaxy currently sending signals our way — a number that has led other science-types to predict that we’ll detect alien signals within two decades or before the next Beiber, whichever comes first.
An assertion which astrophysicist David Spiegel at Princeton University and physicist Edwin Turner at the University of Tokyo giggle over and go ‘ehh, NOTSOMUCH FOOLZ!’
Using a statistical method called Bayesian reasoning, Dave and Ed argue that life here on Earth could be common or could be extremely rare, man. Because, like, we just don’t fucking know, ya know?
And since we just don’t fucking know, there’s no fucking reason to prefer one conclusion over the other.
And there you have it.
The fly in the ointment.
The straw that broke the camel’s back.
The sofuckingobviousIcan’tbelieve noonthoughtofthisbefore immutable point about trying to act like you definitively know what you, like, definitively do not know.
“Although life began on this planet fairly soon after the Earth became habitable, this fact is consistent with … life being arbitrarily rare in the Universe,” the authors write,
going on to, like, PROVE their theory using math and other highly-technical and complex PROVIFIERS that involve multi-syllabic words and ASCII-looking scribbles and suchlike that I won’t get into here because, well, there’s math and other highly-technical and complex PROVIFIERS that involve multi-syllabic words and ASCII-looking scribbles and suchlike involved.
Suffice it to say that with one carefully crafted conception, two geeks have singlehandedly erased the one warm and fuzzy scientists have used as their ‘go to’ argument for decades and slapped a big fat question mark on that bitch instead.
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