So … well, uh … that happened …

July 5, 2011 at 2:29 pm 4 comments


Bored over the long holiday weekend, The Universe got out the old mounted globe, played Pick A Spot, landed on Parish, New York and opened a ginormous can of IRONY on 55-year-old Philip Contos.

The Harley-head was determined to show that the government had no right to make him wear a helmet while riding his motorcycle, regardless of the consequences.

And boy, did he show them. 😦

Participating in a ride supported by ABATE (American Bikers Aimed for Education), to protest New York’s mandatory helmet law, Contos hit his brakes and was thrown from his bike.
His head struck the pavement, causing a fatal skull fracture.

We have reached the point, kiddies, where I know I don’t have to tell you that officials said his death would have been prevented had Contos been wearing a helmet.

Nope. I don’t have to tell you that.
And no one had to tell that to Contos, either.

His brother, Richard Contos, said ol’ Phil’d do it again … if he could.
“He would have wanted it that way. … He protested everything.”

Not anymore he doesn’t.

And that makes me sad, because anyone who trolls this waste of space I call LIAC knows I amm all about the nuh uh!
‘Cept I gotta call an ultra NUH UH on this one.

I don’t know Phillip Contos, but I do know he chucked a BIG OL’ deuce to any future demonstrations … or family functions … or holiday memories … or delicious cheesburgery goodness … or happy sexy times with that special someone … or ANYTHING … by dying for this cause.
Which also makes me sad because it’s bullhead stupid.

Shuddit, Mr. ITHOUGHTYOUWEREABLEEDINGHEARTLIBERALFUCKINGHYPOCRITEWHORE. Just shuddit, ‘kay toots?

I almost need a cotton-padded chest cavity my pinko-commie liberal heart bleeds so heavily for free choice (yeah!), free speech (Yeah!!), free love (HELL TO THE YEAH!!!), but even I know there are limits.
::: I am my mother! :O :::

And I can lay this truth upon you today because I have a brain still firmly encased in osseous matter.
::: PULSERIFICALLY PRIMO! :::

Yup, it is 100% redwhiteandblue appliepiebaseballmom AMERICAN to take your peeves public.

Protesting is patriotic!
Protesting can be positive and downright pleasureable!!
Hell, I want channel my inner Phil Ochs, raise a fist and rally for a cause RIGHT FUCKING NOW!

And I can.
Because I am still an animate object.

Feeling the wind in your hair?
I feel that!
Open-aired exhilaration?
I’m down!
Living to ride another day?
LIKES IT!

Seriously guys? Resist that retarded urge to be a law maker.
Take Ron White’s advice and just ‘put on the fucking helmet’ already.

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Entry filed under: blogging, comedy, community, culture, education, Gossip, government, health, holiday, humor, journalism, life, media, News, Politics, reporting, unbelievable, Uncategorized, vanity.

Yup, that’s about right … THIS INJUSTICE SHALL NOT STAND!!!

4 Comments

  • 1. Maxim  |  July 5, 2011 at 2:35 pm

    I’m torn with this. On one hand, yes, he died while protesting the thing that would of saved his life, on the other hand, he wouldn’t have it any other way. Motorbiking was his life, and it wasn’t the same with a helmet. Whatever. His life.

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  July 5, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Thanks Maxim!
    Yup, his life … so it was.
    So it was …

  • 3. Ric  |  July 5, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Was his head all green and ugly like that before he took the dive, or is that an after pic?

    Riding without a hat is keen, feels good, and all that, if you’re on the road alone. But there’s all these crazy-ass bastards driving cars and they are out to get you. Why give them an edge by not wearing a hat?

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  July 5, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    TRUTH!



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