February 7, 2011 at 3:33 pm 7 comments

GoDaddy go to your room!

And STAY THERE until you and your #2 pencil can score at least a D- on your next Super Bowl Advertising Etiquette 101 exam without the obvious Photoshop trickery you sickasses perpatrated on my innocent ocular cavities this time.

I ain’t havin’ it, bitches!
I have graded your latest, uhh, attempt as a pitifully lame mockery of the SESSAY the world has come to expect from you!

A 77-year-old?
What were you thinking?!

Did the shock of the not really shocking reality that there is not now, nor has their ever been, the smidgiest bit of beef in your Taco Bell Enchirito deliver the ‘thenwhatthehellhaveIbeeneating’ so hard you hit your head on the coffee table on your way out of consciousness before the cameras started rolling?

That’s got to be it.
Tell me that’s it!
Because if that’s not it, there is just ZERO excuse for this unholy meemaw MESSINESS!

Even if you plunged that bag o’ sag in Crisco, infused her with the sweet, untouched nectar and promise of a thousand pre-pubescent girls and drown her old ass in hyperbaric oxygen therapy for as long as all of her surgical warranties combined – this look ————————————–>
 is not achieved.

Just a big DO NOT WANT sandwich any way you slice that synthetic septuagenarian’s surgically-altered and permanently-pickled parts.

Like flyng pink unicorns, an actual Sarah Palin intelligence quotient or lasting peace in the Middle East – some things just aren’t.
Joan Rivers’ sex appeal = AREN’T TO INFINITY!!!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to start drinking very, Very, VERY heavily figure out how to forget I ever saw this shit!

Entry filed under: actors, advertising, blogging, celebrity, comedy, community, culture, fun, funny, Gossip, humor, life, media, News, odd, photography, Sports, TV, unbelievable, vanity.

In case you didn’t know Karma 1 – Animal Abusers 0


  • 1. Ric  |  February 7, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    Oh damn… and here I thought it was real, a miracle and all that!

  • 2. writechic  |  February 7, 2011 at 4:02 pm

    They kind of run with a lived-hard, put-away-dry-and-crusty theme, don’t they?

    Rivers would totally be Netscape in the “If Browsers were Women” game:

    • 3. lifeisacookie  |  February 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm

      haha — awesome!!

  • 4. lifeisacookie  |  February 7, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    She’s Tweeting it is.

    • 5. writechic  |  February 7, 2011 at 5:30 pm

      Props to her that she retains the dexterity in her geriatric state…unless she pays a pool boy to tweet for her. It’s possible.

  • 6. GreenEydGrrl  |  February 7, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    wait wait wait wait wait – Joan Rivers is tweeting that that is actually her and not a photo shop?

    • 7. lifeisacookie  |  February 7, 2011 at 7:01 pm

      she is. HAG!

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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