May 9, 2010 at 9:04 pm 1 comment

Throughout the year — every year — things happen that let you know exactly where you are chronologically.

You don’t even have to ask.
You need only look and you know!

When the sea of pastel stretches as far as the eye can see – Easter cannot be far behind.

When I’m accosted by little girls dressed in green begging me to buy Shortbreads and Do-si-dos on my way into Publix — I know the annual monthlong child-labor church/school/community/other ‘let’s make a deal’ extravaganza has only just begun.

When I see anything made of red felt cloth with white bushy anything around it — or holly, holly’s a dead giveaway — I know it’s July or August and retailers are working their ‘great value’ voo-doo to separate me from my Christmas cash before I can even say LABOR DAY!

And when I behold The Magnificent Pile — I know the beginning of Hurricane Season is scant days away.

And lo and behold – The Magnificent Pile appeared before me this very day!

Actually – I spotted many such piles in my neighborhood but none are EVER as glorious, as spectatular a sight, as magical an ocular indulgence as The Magnificent Pile my neighbor assembles every year!

Palm fronds, coconuts, bouganvilla and hibiscus!
Overgrowth, mulch, moldy cypress chips and dead shrubbery!!
::: And citrus! Because we know how much rats loooove citrus!!! :::

The Magnificent Pile knows no bounds!
She welcomes all comers to decompose en masse in 100-degree weather atop the biggest storm drain in the cul-de-sac.

Afternoon spring rains be damned!
The Magnificent Pile will not be deterred.

There is no great gardening need for my neighbor for six whole months!
The probability of Mother Nature’s pissiosity devastating the dwelling my neighbor so loves is nothing more than a harmful thought for six whole months!!
The likelihood of my neighbor losing insurance is a joke for six whole months!!!

That’s party time in SoFla, bitches!
No need for my neighbor to cut, snip, trim or rake for six whole months!
That’s just how he likes to we roll.

Until sometime before June 1 … when The Magnificent Pile appears like an angel of the Lord to let everyone know that the time of the impending and unforeseen is upon us and he we must clean and cull his our vegetative waste with all due haste …

… or fear a sequel to the weather war that was 2004!

Three weeks and counting …

Entry filed under: blogging, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , , , .

My gift to you Apparently, I don’t heart me

1 Comment

  • 1. writechic  |  May 9, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    A good story! Hurricanes and the threat of hurricanes are the only thing I don’t like about warm weather time.

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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