May 4, 2010 at 3:56 pm 3 comments

Cat person or not — crap like this should make you want to immediately stop whatever you’re doing and go coin-diggin’ in the car or couch so you can start a collection or host a telethon or some shit to help these heinous humans BUY A GODDAMNED CLUE!!!!!


Meet the Eskew family of Port St. Lucie, Florida: Jackbag James, Shithead Sheila and Jessica, their dumbass daughter.

These evolutionary-scale throwbacks were arrested on animal cruelty charges after they decided it would be just a big ol’ slice of HELL YEAH to pack up everything for their pending move to North Cackalackee.

And by ‘pack up everything‘ I mean force more than 20 of their furry friends into wooden boxes coffins, nail the lids closed and dump ’em in the neighbor’s yard.


Now — animal cruelty charges are all find and good (actually — it’s the LEAST that should happen to these sick tricks) but I think this troublesome trio should also be charged with whatever criminal thingamabob, trip to detention or mark on their permanent records goes along with depriving the larger community of what couldda been catastically comical!


I mean, have they never had the pleasure of the LOLCATS pussies?
Are they not hip to the trip that is a YouTube kitty vid?


Get with the program inbreeders!
Don’t make me invoke the spirit of Beethoven and come after your retarded asses!!


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  • 1. writechic  |  May 4, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    I think, press dad to turn on mom and kid. Look at that contusion on his forehead. The mother (and I use that term loosely…perhaps the egg donor?) beats her husband and is obviously the mastermind. I mean look at her hair!!!

  • 2. Ric  |  May 4, 2010 at 6:01 pm

    I do hope those people aren’t moving to my neck of the woods. I’d be inclined to nail them into their house and burn the fucking thing down. We’ve got enough psychotic humans running around loose.

    Now there’s some irony to chew on.

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