Pontius Poultry!

April 25, 2010 at 10:42 pm 5 comments

* Am still deep in project but could not let this one go *

I don’t cook.
Never have. Never will.

Some of you may know this about me.

I used to feel just the teensiest bit 😦 about not wanting/liking/giving two fucking shits about cooking  – BUT NOT ANYMORE!

Because people who cook are some sick bitches, yo!

They are!!

How else can you explain the fuckery that is the ‘Chicken-on-the-Cross’ sacrilege makin’ the rounds disguised as the perfect Easter entrée?!

Didn’t make it this year?

— Moderately preheated grill
— One whole dressed chicken (3-4 lbs.)
— 1/4 cup olive oil
— 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
— A small “Calvary-type” cross made of cedar to fit a 3- to 4-lb. fryer
::: yes, you read that right :::
2 or 31/2” steel nails (with heads)
::: yes, you read that right :::

Cue the WTF!

Thoroughly moisten the cedar cross with water and rub olive oil over the entire surface of the bird.

Attach the chicken’s wing tips, crucifixion-style, to the arms of the cross with the nails.

Place the chicken/cross combo on the grill rack and close lid.
Allow 1-1/2 to 2 hours to roast, basting periodically with vinegar.


But hey, who am I to judge … if you like that gak, you’ll probably love the Holocaust-inspired ‘Gas-Chamber-Gazpachoor ‘Spanish-Inquisition-Ceviche’!

Just be sure to serve ’em with a side of ‘God’ll Smite You’ salad and a glass of ‘Cloud Nine’ wine or all hell could break loose!

Just sayin’ …

Entry filed under: blogging, Easter, Uncategorized.

TTFN Dumbass of the Day


  • 1. writechic  |  April 25, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    OMG! That looks like the Celtic Vagina Goddess:

    …sans the head.

    In lieu of dinner, I’ll be drinking tonight instead. Thanks, Cookie. 😉

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  April 26, 2010 at 9:41 am


    • 3. writechic  |  April 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm

      well it does 😆

  • 4. Ric  |  April 26, 2010 at 10:50 am

    Does Colonel Sanders know about this? Or is he behind it? Or could it be that Pope Jonny Rats has a new hobby? Inquiring minds want to forget this picture.

  • 5. 0whole1  |  April 30, 2010 at 3:55 am

    Finger-Lickin’ Saved.

    What, no ‘slaw?

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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