March 31, 2010 at 10:21 am 2 comments

He’d creep up into your crib, drop his drawers and insist on sex with your spouse and spawn, of course!

Just ask Jesus 65-year-old Jean Timms of Gun Town (yep, you read that right), Mississippi, who let himself into an abode in Franklin, Alabama and told the startled homeowner that he was the savior himself and was there to have sex with the man’s wife and daughter.


After a couple of minutes passed with no water turning to wine, harps and cherubs appearing or diseases being miraculously cured, the Lamb lunatic of God got all ‘ok, haha, ya got me … I’m really Elvis Presley’ … then he dropped his pants.


Cue the 911 call and here come the boys in blue, who found Jes … Elv … WHACKJOB just outside the house with his pants still pulled down.

Upon his arrest, Timms pulled a true switcheroo and claimed he was REALLY the grandson of Harry Houdini and could escape from anywhere – ANYWHERE, BITCHES!!!!!

… ‘cept those skills clearly need work cuz’ The Great Disappointment is still sitting in the Franklin County Jail … without bail.


Franklin County District Attorney Joey Rushing – in an uncanny rendition of FUCKING OBVIOUS! – said, “Just based on the circumstances of the arrest, we’ll be asking the state to conduct a mental evaluation on the suspect when the time comes.”

ya think?!


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You gotta want it BAAAAD! What’s in a name?


  • 1. Embarrassed  |  April 7, 2010 at 2:32 am

    This family should be very thankful that he was not armed. His real name Is Charles Eugene Timms and he should be considered very dangerous. He is a convicted felon and has assaulted and threatened many people in the past. His drug of choice is meth (hence the screwed up teeth), and he is an alcoholic. I do not know what he was on that night but he is not insane, I believe it was either an act because he got caught or the result of being under the influence. He has had run ins with law enforcement off and on for 40 plus years. If I saw him walking towards me I would shoot first and ask questions later. Before you ask, yes unfortunately I am related to this piece of work. That is why I chose the name Embarrassed.

  • 2. lifeisacookie  |  April 7, 2010 at 10:05 am

    It’s a very good thing he wasn’t armed then!
    Is he still in jail??

This is the shit you bitches are reading

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